I am so pleased. My four year old grandson has just started school. His teacher has ssid that he is already more advanced at maths and biology than President Trump.

I am adjusting my garden shed and have made it 9 trillion times better. I know more about garden sheds than anyone in the world. I think my one shed should nominate me for a Nobel shed award. I might put an escalater in it. Ps I do not take paracetamol its not strong enough.

When I was young women smoked and drank during pregnancy and there was no such thing as autism. I wonder if that is the answer. Just asking.

Feeling sickened. Humanity seems to have been sucked out of the world. Gaza! The f wit Trump! Bollocks in Ukraine

Apparently 32000 immigrants in the UK are housed in hotels at a cost of 3 billion pounds. I know its difficult to do maths tgese days so I have taken ages to work out the cost per immigrant. Its £93475. Thats nearly as much as my £10000 state pension?

Please explain why we are told constantly that public services attending fires, royal celebrations, disasters etc cost the public purse millions? They are there to do just that. Its called doing your job.

Just been told bÿ my airline company that if I want seat 11A it will be £2000 extra

A female footballer has Not been selected by England has retired from International football. It is with regret that I have to confirm that I have not been chosen for the England crochet team and have therefore retired fron internationsl crochet

USA get a gold at the world relays. Trump was outstanding.

Apparently Trumo said that it was about time that an American has become Pope. He says it should have happened at least 2026 years ago

Apparently President Trump is arriving in the Popemobile.

Rachel Reeves app for calculating the countries credit rating doesnt have enough zeros on it

50m breastroke at the LA Olympics. I am thinking of makinr a comeback. Watch out Peaty. You could be racing an 82 year old in the final

Right for a start what is a "get go"?

So this Taylor Swift. She wears a swimming costume but I didnt see her compete at the Olympics so she must be either an artistic swimmer or not very good. On reflection she doesnt wear a nose clip so I assume its the later.

Now we are looking at happy athletes enjoying the ceremony and B B C are taking about Jamaica not doing well. Talk about what we see plonkers

Just taken a look. Hes still on talking about Simonne Billes so turned over again

Its B B C why watch Johnson talk about Americans. Turning iver now.

There is something very interesting for the crowd in the athletics and we have to listen to pundits taking about something they have no knowledge about.

Its very noticable that there are no blokes doing the bar in the womens gymnastics. Perhaps the boxers should be made to do it?