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Grosdoriane Profile
Grosdoriane

@Grosdoriane

Followers
6K
Following
38K
Media
11K
Statuses
57K

emo till I die. Follow for more tweets that I tweet.

Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
sir, your total will be $9.85, and peter griffin, sir, it is an honor to serve you today.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Scientist doing an IQ test on a 3-month old baby: what the hell? this guy's an idiot.
@nypost
New York Post
4 years
Babies born during COVID-19 pandemic have lower IQs: Study says
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 months
"It wasn't a seig heil". Hey man, I'm gonna be honest. I get that it's possible that you're that stupid, but I'm not.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
6 years
This is NOT what America is about. America is about *opens history book*. uh oh. *Frantically starts flipping though pages*. uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Yogurt Scientist: damn. is it just me, or are these mice getting kind of hot?
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
The fact that people used to deliver pizzas before GPS is so absurd to me. People were really calling up a pizzeria like "I want a large pizza delivered in 30 minutes. I'm going to give you a house number, and a random street name. Good fucking luck.".
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Tbh, it's kind of funny seeing zoomers learn about what the world was like before they were born. Like, The Office said the f-slur on primetime network television. We're not very far removed from this.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
SO YOU TAKE PFIZER'S 66% EFFECTIVENESS, PLUS MODERNA'S 80.2% EFFECTIVENESS, AND ADD THAT TO ASTRAZENECA'S 90%, AND THAT GIVES ME A 236.2% CHANCE OF BEATING CORONAVIRUS THIS SUNDAY AT SACRIFICE
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Wow, I sure hope they find the person who said this so they can hold up their end of the bargain, whoever it was. .
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
10 months
I think that if you're an astronaut and a private company says "we can fly you to space for 8 days," and then after 60+ days in space they tell you "probably next year actually," you should be able to sue that company out of existence, even when it's as large as Boeing.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
[The most 20-25 minutes away guy you have ever heard in your entire life] yeah, i'm about 12 minutes away.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
this is how dogs would eat if they had money.
@SolBrah
⚡️🌞 Sol Brah 🌞🐬
1 year
Raw meat plate for dinner: raw ground beef, sliced ribeye steak. Served with white rice + sautéed mushrooms topped with raw bone marrow. Raw is law.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
10 months
gonna get fucked up tonight
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
New dutch reaction image just dropped
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@geertwilderspvv
Geert Wilders
1 year
We hebben een serieus probleem met de politieke ontwikkelingen mbt de dwangwet en ik hoop dat dat de komende dagen kan worden opgelost.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
A while back, Dunkin Donuts used Rob Gronkowski in some ads. But my friend and I had no idea he was a football player, so we thought Dunkin came up with an Original Character named "Gronk" to advertise their energy drink.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
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@qikipedia
Quite Interesting
11 years
In 1379, more than 600 years ago, a baby girl in Yorkshire was christened Diot Coke.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I will never, ever, ever understand the concept of buying a plate of food off of Facebook. Just not something that is a part of my life.
@babyibeenajoint
FLEA 🇭🇹
1 year
Don’t buy anything from this guy. He was selling boneless wings and a drink. And this is what I got. Charged me $15 up front. I tried getting a refund and he blocked me and said “Take me to Judge Judy “. I just wanted wings 😔
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I try to be generally kind and accepting of religious beliefs. But I draw the line at the year 1800. Every religion created after 1800 is obviously fake. The founder of your religion cannot have been alive while Schweppes soda existed.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
9 months
another one for the list
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@UnlockAstrology
Samuel F. Reynolds
9 months
If you're not from NYC or lived there, you might not understand this. One thing I loved about living in NYC is how it forced me to pay attention to space and anyone in my vicinity. And you had to observe and make decisions quickly with that attention.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Hard to find a better example of the over-clinicalization of completely normal thoughts and feelings than someone saying they "misdiagnosed" themselves as an introvert/extrovert.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 months
Alright, real recognizes real here, this is a true, 100% no foolin' around alcoholic. Moving from beer to light beer to spirits in a zero calorie mixer is such a classic move. At that point you're fulling thinking utility. It's medicine, I know he can't sleep.
@highbrow_nobrow
The Intellectualist
3 months
Pete Hegseth: “I do less beer these days. I'm a gin guy. Gin is my poison of choice…”.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
lol
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
If you told me they were related by blood, I would believe you.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
It's looks like they tried to use alchemy to recreate Andrew Tate, but accidentally created a homunculus.
@sneako
SNEAKO
2 years
Soy boys don’t have brothers by their side. The woke mind is a miserable existence, get out now.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Okay, but like, imagine if Paul McCartney was just scrolling on TikTok and this came up on his For You Page.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
"How was the left radicalized?". Bro, I'm not radicalized. Literally all of my political views are just extrapolations of the most basic premises of human decency. Universal healthcare isn't "radical." I figured that one out when I was, like, 8 years old. Get a grip.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 months
-RECESSION TIPS-. • A 5lb bag of rice costs about $3.50 for around 8,000 calories. • A 5lb bag of potatoes is about $2.50 for 1700 calories. • A 1.75L bottle of vodka is $13 for 5700 calories. For just $19, that'll get you over 2,200 calories per day for a whole week.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
Lmao night night, Aussies. Enjoy your night time while literally everyone else in the entire world is soaking up the sun. Should we send you some warm milk and blankets? Rip Van Winkle ass lmaaaooo 🛌🦘🛌🦘🛌 don't let the bed bugs bite
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
"Queer-baiting" strikes me as such a Gen Z concept, because 20 years ago if a celebrity "acted a little gay," they basically called them a slur on the news.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
I know I'm late, but I think this tweet after the queen died was my Favorite Tweet of 2022.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
11 months
gravity., i wanna see them eggs and peppernonis dance.
@whotfisjovana
The Notorious J.O.V.
11 months
remove 1 thing
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Man.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
It's funny how the term "podcast" just stuck. Such a huge thing at this point, and yet it's still named after iPods.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
People in the comments are like "wow, I can't believe a meth dealer would say something problematic. ". And like, it's not even that. This is 100% just a thing that a guy would say 15 years ago.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
come on ladies!!! let's prove this guy wrong! come on, let's prove him wrong! come on everyone, let's prove this guy wrong! everyone!!! let's prove this guy wrong hey, let's prove this guy wrong!!! women of twitter, do your thing!!! let's prove this guy wrong! hey! let's prove th.
@alpharivelino
Rivelino
3 years
If she shows your her ass she's got no class!
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
Legitimately crying laughing at the fact that this Wikipedia article exists.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Imagine farting so good that the King gives you a 30 acre estate. Imagine someone farting so good, that you're reading about them right now, 900 years later.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
smdh
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
10 months
My family got booted off a flight they overbooked recently, and the airline had to give us $6,000. I don't think it's even that crazy to suggest that getting "stranded in space" is 16,800,000x worse than that. I think I'm actually being perfectly reasonable here.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I know this is common and normal, but it's still so funny to me. "Hey, im so dizzy that I had to come to the ER"."Damn, that's crazy. You do seem really dizzy. Well, see ya later!"
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
idk how to explain it, but "1:1:1 Chipotle to Chick-Fil-A to Crumbl ratio" sounds like a racist dogwhistle.
@mhp_guy
Chris Koerner
1 year
This is the best real estate in the world. 1:1:1 Chipotle to Chick-Fil-A to Crumbl ratio. More HOAs per capita than anywhere on Earth. Only 3.5% property taxes. Only 45 minutes to downtown Dallas. Every house has a privacy fence. Current entry level price: $1.2 million
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I feel like it's kind of everyone's duty online (who is not a antisemite, presumably) to be able to look at an image and immediately be able to tell "Oh, a neo-nazi made this picture" and not post it. Like, what are you doing you fucking freak?.
@jvgraz
99% Johnny Graz
1 year
Tomorrow is Holocaust Remembrance Day. Hope you're all ready for the galactic load of victimhood headed our way.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
10 months
?
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@chrisman
Chrisman
10 months
Vance has wartime physiognomy. He looks like every civil war general who got promoted after the first few battles happened and people figured out who was good at war.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Oh, brother, this place STINKS
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I'm at the country music hall of fame museum, and to be honest with you I'd rather just be looking at pictures of all this shit on my computer.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Really funny how this one played out.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
6 years
Cheese dream
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 months
I just got gas this morning and I swear to god a TV on the pump told me that "Fortnite is making mayonnaise cool again.". It should be illegal for the gas pump to say this to me, I can't take it anymore.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
I'm a man. I didn't have a baby. I have stretch marks. When I was in college, Pizza Hut had a deal where you could get 2 Medium Pizzas and 10 bread sticks for $15, and I could (and would) eat that in one night.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 months
I've only ever heard of two outcomes with laser eye surgery:. 1) It works really well for a while and then eventually your eyesight gets bad again and you need glasses anyway. 2) it's botched and the side effects are so bad that people kill themselves.
@justalexoki
taoki
2 months
i don't get rich people with glasses or contacts. lasik is basically free?.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Like, my dad's job requires him to go to customer's houses within over an hour long drive from his office. And before 2007, he'd have to find streets using a physical atlas index with a grid system. And now my phone just automatically tells me exactly where to deliver Chipotle.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
Having a pint to wind down. Always love having a beer poured in a glass. Cheers, everyone 🍻
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
8 months
Sorry, man. I can't hang out today. I have like a ton of lithium ion batteries at home that I need to put in regular trash cans to dispose of as I would with any other kind of waste.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
The easiest way for me to tell that things are going bad in this country is when this tweet starts going around again.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
huh. if homer isn't doing it anymore, i guess maybe i should stop, too.
@CultureCrave
Culture Crave 🍿
2 years
Homer will no longer choke Bart in #TheSimpsons as 'times have changed'
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 months
@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 months
"It wasn't a seig heil". Hey man, I'm gonna be honest. I get that it's possible that you're that stupid, but I'm not.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
I feel like I'm going fucking insane. We've shifted so far that people are criticising blatantly non-violent protests by saying "well, the non-violent protests are bad because all they need is violence to become violent protests.". What the FUCK are you TALKING about??
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
I've been following this guy on TikTok for years. I'm still not 100% sure what he's doing, but it feels like he's getting really good at it.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Folks, he cannot be stopped.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
why did i ever date men?
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
Losing my mind at the idea of a guy watching hypno porn, finger on the pause button, because he's too afraid it will work.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
I'm dying at these
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Let the record show that these 90k likes are technically mine. I just need to make sure we get that all in writing.
@SpiritofLenin
Friendly Neighborhood Comrade
4 years
thinking about this tweet again.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 months
"I'm not really drinking all that much, although I may have many glasses". Dude stole my line from Christmas Eve this year when I was two fast blinks away from falling asleep standing up while on my third triple rum and diet ginger ale like "It's just a splash of rum. ".
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
They need to stop teaching intro to psychology classes in high schools until we can figure out what's going on.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
I was "radicalized" when I found out that when you call 911 for a fire, the firefighters come for free. But when you call 911 for a medical emergency, they send you a bill. That's literally it. Just expand it from that, and there you go.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
that's what u get for bringing elon on stage, sweatie 💅.
@screentime
ScreenTime
2 years
Damien Chazelle’s #Babylon bombs at the box office with $3.5M domestically . The film cost $80M to make
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Every NFT looks like this
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Oh my god
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
i bet it's crazy as fuck to work at the fruity pebbles factory.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
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@y8wlr
y8
2 years
what’s the worst tweet of all time.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
7 months
This is the most important election of our lifetime.
@allenanalysis
Brian Allen
7 months
Reported: Kid Rock says he'll leave the United States if Donald Trump is not re-elected. How do you feel about this?
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Actually, I take it back. Specifically because I think a well-spoken True Believer could probably convince me that sparkling water is, in essence, God.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
This is such a funny thing to comment on a video about a tomato sandwich. What the fuck are you talking about? That would just be a different sandwich.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Ooohhhh. I always wondered what people meant by that
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
@pervocracy Whatever money you were making doing that, I know for a fact it wasn't enough. I can't imagine how stressful that would be.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 months
for an even cheaper option, or if you don't drink, you can simply sub out the vodka for a gallon of vegetable oil. For just $7.99. that'll get you around 30,700 calories.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
@lonelypastaboi Hmmmm. I have a feeling that there is a group of people who would very much disagree with that.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
A quick reminder for this upcoming Democratic primary election
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Doing some research. They actually make a really good point.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
@ExileGrimm I'm a huge proponent of "saying things solely because I will think it was funny to have said it," but I would've kept this one to myself lol.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
You know that Crypto is crashing when they start tweeting stuff like this.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
I have, like, some crazy bad news for you.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
@HydrationChimp Whoa, who said this? Definitely wasn't me.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
In Case You Missed It: John Roderick made a thread on Twitter about not helping his young daughter make dinner. People got annoyed by it, dug a into his tweets a bit, and found a bunch of racist and homophobic tweets. He and Ken Jennings hosted a podcast together.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
@eatinginmycar Look. I'm gonna be 100% honest. I have literally never thought to go to the salad bar to buy just enough vegetables to put on a sandwich that I'm planning to make. But that's so much better than what I've been doing.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
2 years
People always get mad at me when I say something is very "Gen Z," so I just want to clarify that I don't think it's *bad,* I just don't think that young adults now who were kids in 2015 really understand how much we've slingshotted around.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
This is the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
1 year
Just so u know, 11th grade is tough but in senior year u get to choose more of your classes and take more fun electives so it's actually pretty chill. I think you'll have fun!.
@shrugdeaIer
ted cutezynski¹
1 year
ACAB includes encampment morality police.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
Hey, man. Nice tweet! Do you mind if I say something extremely weird about my personal life in the replies?.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
Hey, no offense to crocodiles, but literally what the fuck is this thing
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
5 years
@nealbrennan You could have just said Patreon, dude.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
I hate to bring this to your attention, but:. Vaush porn parody.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 months
@jobjones18 Look. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. .
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 years
So, the FBI raided Trump's famous Mar-A-Lago resort earlier today. You seen this? You heard of this?. Yeah, apparently they were looking for Ezra Miller
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
4 years
@LateNightNelly Florida is "East Coast" in the same way that Alaska is "West Coast." Factually true, but surely not what anybody means.
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@Grosdoriane
Grosdoriane
3 months
@simcha1972 Yeah but it's only like this much 🤏.
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