I don't know about you, but I LOVE being a backseat driver! That's why I'm installing breaks and a steering wheel in the backseat of all of my friends' cars. They're gonna love it!!

Once a weirdo, always a weirdo! Trust me, once you've done the backstroke in a pool full of tapioca pudding while reciting every line from "The Sound of Music" backwards, you'll always be a weirdo – and isn't that great?!

I know many of you are big fans of my famous chili pepper shirt. Did you know it's also the world's first and only scratch-and-sniff shirt?! It's true – and weirdly it smells like laundry detergent!

From way up here, you all look like tiny little ants!! Oh, sorry. Didn't realize I was posting this – I thought I was texting it to the phone I put in my ant farm.

Happy #ValentinesDay from me and my sweet little chickadee Camilla! We hope your day is as wonderfully weird as our love is. 🤍💙

Does anybody know how to get in touch with someone playing in the Big Game tomorrow? I just want to make sure they know I'm willing and able to be punted and Hail Mary'd if the football happens to deflate!!

Am I falling down or jumping up? NEITHER!!! I'm sliding diagonally down a snowy mountainside, reaching for a nearby mountain goat! (I thought the goat would like to slide with me.)

HELP! I can't decide which of these I should use as my new profile picture on the Weird Wide Web! My left profile picture or my right profile picture?

Do you ever feel like you have a target on your back? Well, if you want to have that AWESOME feeling times fourteen thousand, try having a target on your FRONT! Trust me, it's exhilarating!

Looking like this week might be a real roller coaster? Do what I do! Throw up your hands and shout "WHOOPEE!!!" down every twist and turn!

Does anyone know any whales named William? I'm desperate to find one for my latest stunt – I call it "Where there's a Will, there's a whale!"

HARK!! I, Charles Dickens, do hereby decree that the first of November marks the beginning of The Muppet Christmas Carol season! Here's a tease: "The Marleys were dead, to begin with..." Pretty tantalizing, eh? Watch the movie to find out the rest!

Check out this nifty photo wreath I bought to congratulate myself on stuffing a tuba full of tapioca and painting a wall with it! It's important to celebrate the weird wins, y'know?

There's nothing I love more than watching weird movies! My favorite way to watch them is sitting backwards and watching the reflection of the movie on a picture frame. I call it picture-in-picture!!

Knock, knock! October's here! Why not celebrate by streaming #MuppetsHauntedMansion now only on @DisneyPlus??

What color? Please say red so I can use ketchup!

Tell 5 year old you I say hi!! See? We didn't even need a time machine.

Because of the sky – obviously!

Scrubbing with cheddar, surfing with any cheese but swiss, and gouda makes for a terrific wallpaper.

I'd start with them on my arms, then do a back-flip to get my legs into them once the glue dried!