GeneralLaneKiffin
@GeneralLaneKiff
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News from the battlefield. Parody account
Baton Rouge, LA
Joined February 2019
Mother- This morning marks a moment of great consequence for our regiment. Our quartermasters have ridden far & wide to muster the stoutest young warriors fit for the lines. Though we must part with a share of our stores to secure their service, they heed our battle cry. GK
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Mother— At first light on this bitter winter morn, I beheld the mist rising from the Mississippi, much like the fervor of these Rebel sympathizers. My duties here keep me in constant counsel with officers as I labor to secure this powerful station in Baton Rouge. GK
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Mother— The barracks of my new regiment are most orderly, adorned with trophies of their proudest triumphs. It is a remarkable sight to behold, these walls bearing witness to the valor. Though my defection has caused commotion, I trust that in time all shall be understood. GK
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Dearest Mother— I have defected from the Rebel Legion. My holster at my side as I walked onto a plane to Death Valley. Many will ask why. At its core, my heart yearned for the roar of the crowd ever since that ill fated night when I lost to these tigers in 2024. GK
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News from the Clemson battle front.
@LSUfootball, The Langlinais boys just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for believing because true tiger fans never stop. @TigerDroppings this is how you win a road game. @dandydonlsu. @CollegeGameDay
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Dearest @TBob53– Word has come that you have hitched saddles and headed to Chicago. I to have chosen new soil in the hills of North Carolina. My friends south send this message. A Monsta is in near the river. GW #Powerhouse #lsubaseball @LSUbaseball
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Mother— My first few days in the confines of NC have left me with a few things to ponder. Can you please ship me some seasoning for the food out here, some cypress dust would be nice. Our red & blacks will be a great battledress for the upcoming campaign. #fearthewolf GW
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Dearest Mother— After traversing the American terrain via air carriage, I finally arrived to my new home. Legs feed the wolf & my plan to get the pack back into contention will be as quick as my blade. @PackMensBball is about to feel the Generals wrath. GW
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Mother— The March to madness has ended. The “Aura” we brought to Lake Charles has changed their path. As I gather my things for Raleigh, I can’t help but wonder what the new will bring. @PackMensBball has a history. It’s time for the our new regimen to live up to the past. GW
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Dearest Mother— A wise man once said basketball is a symphony of sweat and heart. Each dribble and shot is the composer of the melody. I shall let @amirk_23 blare our war music loudly because we are about to hit the crescendo of @McNeeseMBB at 11:10 am. GW
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Dearest Mother, I pen this missive from Providence, ale in hand. The men of Purdue have been spotted plotting their attack in Amica. Reconnaissance indicates their offensive has weakened over their last 10 skirmish. My bandits muskets are hot. Our lines must overwhelm. GW
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Mother— As this beautiful day migrates into night, my men of @McNeeseMBB slept like young guns ready for another fight. Boilermakers are for drinking & I have had a few in my day. There is no more celebrating as we continue a path to be one of the 16 remaining battalions. GW
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