Aldo @FvckAldo profile

Aldo

@FvckAldo

Followers

1,462

Following

802

Media

456

Statuses

62,161

🏆

Austin, TX

Joined December 2013

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

11 months

Me in the bathroom once I’m $40 deep

✨THE•BIGGEST✨

@Big_Dreez89

11 months

Applebee's new drinks : $10 buckets !!! There are 3 1/2 shots in each bucket. 😋

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

@makjako Same energy

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

I got us @Pluckers ❤️

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Day 2 of surviving. Might have to eat Tobby idk

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

She at Voodoo 3rd floor with him rn

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

You cannot find love in Austin 😭

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Y’all say hi to Tobby 💙

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Everyones true colors are showing and I feel disgusted for ever being in the same vicinity as these ignorant close minded people

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Going to start drinking more water on the weekends

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

@Saints @SNFonNBC

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

H-E-B hired a kitty before some of y’all 😭 let thank sink in

Aaron

@RealAflo

3 years

After 6 years Lucy finally became a official H-E-B partner. Thank you for keeping Texas backyard rodent free. @HEB

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

@NFL_Memes

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

@Saints @drewbrees 😢

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

@NFL_Memes Joe BRRR

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

7 years

To whoever did brujeria to my love life, ya wey 😩

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

I’ve basically been to ACL too since everyone Snapchats the whole thing

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

That Chick Fil A craving on a Sunday is REAL

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

All size titties & booties

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Don’t go through her likes

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Did your phone just automatically connect to my boys WiFi? 😞

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

If we ever had sex I was just kidding

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Here’s my Boyfriend resume if anyone needs it

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

You’re not my friend if you talk to people Idfw

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

I hip thrusted just 135lbs for 4x12 and my literal ass cheeks were sore for 4 days. How tf y’all petite girls thrusting 225+??!! 😭😭😭 Y’all better thrust me at that point

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Using this as an excuse to go get coochie at 1am 😌

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

@josephshugs @achm_99

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Cellulite? Bro I don’t care what cell phone provider she got

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

😈🥵 DM 4 ADDY

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Not made for me apparently

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Happy Valentines Day to everyone that knows how to love themselves ❤️

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

These hoes must be Canes coleslaw the way I substitute them for more bread 😼

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

According to my calculations: ━━━━━ ━━ ┃ I will never ┃ | fully recover┃ | from losing ┃ | Mac Miller ┃ └━━━━━━ ┘ 7 ┃ 8┃ 9┃ / ┃ ━┛━┛━ |━ ┛ 4 ┃5 ┃6 ┃ +┃ ━┛━┛━┛━┛ 1 ┃ 2 ┃ 3┃= ┃ ━┛━┛━┛━┛

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

1 year

HEB employees rn

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

I swear on my days off I have 0 plans & friends to hang with but when I’m working everyone wants to do something & go out 😂

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

First my pluckers, then my gym & now this?! What’s next? Illegal to be horny? 😞😣

Austin Statesman

@statesman

4 years

BREAKING: Moving forward all bars and restaurant dining rooms in Austin will be closed and gatherings of 10 or more are prohibited

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

4/20

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Stop hitting up people first and watch how many of them disappear

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Some big bitch flicked me off on the highway & I took it personal so I chased her car till we got to a light, got out & tell me why this mf started crying & screaming 😭🤣🤣🤣

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

We appreciate all body type women here. Next

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

6 years

It’s Drizzy outside, might have some Lil Wayne too

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Timeline sleep? Say less

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Stop inviting me out, ima say yes 😭

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

@lawndruh @CaleSaurage I dance like this

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

50 likes and I’ll go back to my “Edgar haircut”

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

The new H-E-B opens up today. Please go there, don’t come to mine 😪

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

I see no difference

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Gn

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Y’all wish my best bud a Happy 1st birthday 💚💚

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

You know it’s cold out side when you walk out side and it’s cold

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

National Sex day? Shit, I be fucking. Fucking tired

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Just got a raise at work, life is good 💯🙏🏻

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Tomorrow is the last day the South Congress/Oltorf HEB is open, thankful for the job, the friends it let me meet & make ❤️ & for the opportunity to let help me grow. Going to hug everyone bc it literally might be the last time I see them

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

What if .... we dropped our hoes.. for each other 🙈... lol jk... Unless 😳👀

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Had to make sure my homie good ❤️ @Drake

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Mfs don’t realize we still in a pandemic & still have to WEAR MASKS. It’s been almost a year since we mandated this & people still wanna go out cause they can’t stay in one weekend. CLOWNS. GET SOME HELP 🤣

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

I know I hardly tweet serious but I just have to let everyone know I’m physically & mentally so much better. Last year was so rough & these past few months have been so good to me. I love and appreciate everyone that’s helped me to learn to love myself ❤️

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

My Snapchat memories has showed me like 13 females these past 2 months 😓 Maybe I am a dog

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Bad B 💅🏼

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

If your girls takes you back after you cheated, cheat again because she didn’t learn her lesson

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

If you love yourself, just know you’ll never be alone

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

People real life act like they’re still in high school 😵‍💫

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Would have thrown up and quit at the same time

Brittani Warrick

@BrittaniWarrick

2 years

this would have been my last day at work.

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Update: Still not handsome

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

It’s a sad day to crave Chick Fil A

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

IG stories have been real quite here in Atx

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Can’t wait for 100° weather to go swim & get tan

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

We hiring. Lmk

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Still sleeping with the AC & Fan on ❤️

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

📍📍📍

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

I was going to post my girl on IG but it’s down. Guess I’ll try next year 😭

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Ta-Da

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

If BOOTY not supposed to be ate, why is it already cut in half 🤔

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Y’all letting Tobby lick you?

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Horny

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Gas is now $4 in Del Valle. I’m running to work from now on

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

6 years

Happy Father’s Day to the one who does it both, my mom 💙

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Day 14 of working at this nice HEB. No older, rich woman has fallen in love with me yet. Putting my 2 weeks smh

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

On register, horny

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

I need help

O Popular

@jornal_opopular

6 years

Governo publica MP que atualiza marco legal do saneamento básico

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Ima try this relationship thing again, if I cheat again i’m done

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

I’m this old

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

Man every time I see the “ WE FINANCE” signs, all I can think about is “WE FINA C” 💀

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

IF YOU SEE THESE DOGS IN UR FRONT YARD JUST KNOW UPSTAIRS IM GOING HARD

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

She loves Halloween, so I decided to ghost her 🥰👻

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

Bro Tobby has been playing Minecraft the past 2 days. Idk if he’s good 😳😢

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

4 years

YO I ORDERED HOLY MAC & DIDNT GET IT WTFFFFF @Pluckers HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME 😕😞😞😞

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Imagine going back to an ex 🤡

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Anyone can get it, these hands bisexual

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

If a woman tells me a joke & it’s funny, I’ll wait until I get home to laugh

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

I don’t even know 1,507 people… WHO ARE YALL

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

5 years

Me when my homies get a fresh fade 😩

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

6 years

Rip to my pal ❤️ You were an old ass dog but you stuck around for a good part of my life, I’ll miss ya bud

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

Bought Toby an Elote 🌽😂

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

2 years

25 likes and I call in tomorrow

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Aldo

@FvckAldo

3 years

If y’all saw me out Friday-Sunday. It wasn’t me 😮‍💨

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