Bathroom Lights: *Turn on as I walk in* Me:

Taking pictures of these absolute cuties was the pleasure of a lifetime

I know I’m biased, but y’all should listen to the man

“Piecep”

This is basically how I picture @FancySteve73 and I bowling/playing cornhole

Patron at grocery store: “Are you a beer guy?” *Me, a white cis-male with tattoos and a mustache palming a 12 Rack in each hand* Me: The poster boy, yeah

Felt real good for our team to 4-0 the team talking about how "they're putting litter boxes in schools for the kids who identify as cats" at bowling tonight.

It’s been 20yrs and I’m still waiting for @Nintendo to announce a sequel to Gotcha Force and Billy Hatcher during #NintendoDirect

I don’t know how to explain why to you if you’re not from the area but this is absolutely going to be the most watched broadcast in the Delaware Valley region until the Eagles season starts again.

I've had multiple men ask me if @FancySteve73 was single

Update: It’s ~335lbs

The absolute disrespect for cottage cheese is disheartening

Cottage cheese and apple sauce is an S Tier combination

What are the chances you’d come bowling with @Grahn_Stamos and I in Wynnewood on Sunday morning?

I need to reevaluate what a “heavy weight” for my pause reps is

*Actively trying not to dress like Candy Corn*

The only jersey I own is a @MomRockOfficial baseball jersey

*Not pictured: Jordan’s scooter @MoLowda

Shelby’s mom referred to me as a “bon bon of a man”

We made it to Florida and I made my favorite purchase of 2023

I think this is the first time in almost 8 years I attempted to squat this much