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Espi Rivadeneira Profile
Espi Rivadeneira

@EspiRivadeneira

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Following
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Statuses
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NYC comic. Host of ‘stand & deliver.’ Featured on BBC Reel. As seen in “The New Yorker.”

New York, USA
Joined February 2019
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
4 years
random person: can I get on your show .me: can you send a tape .him: I’ve been doing comedy for ten years .me: ok so here’s the thing you seem wildly unfunny and we’ve only talked for ten seconds.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
anytime I get new clothes I feel like a Pokémon evolving.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
I love me some fake leather.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
*tries to squish a cockroach, it disappears into the wall*.me: what the hell do you think this is platform 9 and 3/4?!.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
why do I keep having nightmares *reads murder mysteries before bed*.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
you ever see someone so old you’re like is this where raisins come from? .You’re about to eat a raisin your friend’s like WAIT THATS GRANDPAPPY.you’re like I was wondering why it was in a tiny wheelchair .And hooked up to life support.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
2 years
*on the train, anyone tries to sit next to me*: JUST SO YOU KNOW I DO HAVE LICE.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
audience after a show: hey you were our favorite but you should go to therapy.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
*me being dramatic as a sober person at a bar*: get me a pint of water STAT *chugs it*.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
cigarettes are the adult pacifier.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
a sales associate to me in a clothing store: what size are you .me: kidnappable.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
saw a cat nip flavored treat is that like the cat’s equivalent to Heineken zero?.
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@EspiRivadeneira
Espi Rivadeneira
3 years
me at the airport: gotta find a nice quiet spot to cry.
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