“Nepo” Bonaparte
@EquitiesInTX
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Hater of the Upside Down Dallas Hat Guys. Cocktail Lounge enthusiast. Average golfer, below average skier. Replacer of Reserves, Dallasite, Pony Excess
Joined October 2017
Me cleaning my apartment before a night out under the assumption that a girl will be coming home w me
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Girl I drunkenly slept with on Saturday is wearing the sweatshirt she took from me to class
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This makes me wanna operate a lawnmower and tailgate every cowboys game
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Me telling the poli sci girl I’m “Socially liberal and fiscally conservative”
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My girlfriend after I make us ground beef, eggs, avocado and honey for Valentine’s Day dinner
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Me trying to talk to the girl in the Dallas cowboys cheerleader costume last night
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Fuck it tyreek down there somewhere!
Girl I drunkenly slept with on Saturday is wearing the sweatshirt she took from me to class
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I think I’ve liked every single one of these posts.
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It’s provocative, it gets the people (me) going (horny)!
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Me tonight after my 8th time saying “man the drinks here are so cheap”
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She needs to be held responsible for the reversal in the yen carry trade
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If you were to look through my LinkedIn connections, you would quickly notice a trend
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@KWhippencock Only one piece of TP is criminal. A an accidental finger slip could easily occur here.
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Saw a slutty post from a hot girl burner at the top of my feed and then my page refreshed
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“Why don’t you go out more? Why do you do it? Why do you work so hard? Why are you so hard on yourself?”
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Whatever the equivalent of a cookout is for white people, this brother is invited
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Was it worth it? Here’s my attempt at bringing back my old feed . White Boy Summer.Tap in .Rainbows .Cart Girls .Bag.KKG.Rate Cuts.Swing Reveal .Interns.Needlepoint Belt.Country Club.Dads Card.Peter Millar .Widespread Panic.
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“Yo bro yall hittin waste management this weekend? Ion even watch golf but that Shit finna be lit!”
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Already Tuesday? Yea I think I’m pretty much done until finals week
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Wanted some Torchys queso for lunch and those sneaky fuckers gave me a beer
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Stop scrolling and listen to me very carefully. You need to buy land here asap.
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“Is this doing too much for a hometown bar in frisco Texas?”
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If you’re a guy in your early 20s, order Uber blacks everywhere and connect to aux . Go into debt if you have to
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Oh boy! You’re welcome at my club any day of the week 👍
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Just finished my last final. My brain hurts but nothing a few cold ones can’t fix
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“Sir what do you do for a living?” Umm I’m a student pursuing a career in CEO Investment Banking Private Equity Crypto
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Hitting harder than an Oklahoma Running Back in Picklemans
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One of the rare occasions I fall for a scam, like a moth to a flame
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Dammit of course the girl everyone is raving about is an SMU kappa, what the fuck!.
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I love watching the stupid grad school larps fiddle around
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“Day Trader” 🤣🤣 Funny way of saying you’re unemployed, count your days brotha
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Always gotta keep this on standby in case of an ounce of cloud coverage
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Lily Philips and Bonnie Blue fighting over who has the most gaping vagina
OF model Bonnie Blue says she has broken the world record by sleeping with 1,057 men in just 12 hours
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Forgot a few: . IPAs .Fly fishing .Meats on the Grill.House music .On Clouds .Civil War history.Katy Trail Ice House.
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This Mi Cocina IPO is gonna be electric.
New York Stock Exchange announced plans today to launch NYSE Texas, headquartered in Dallas
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When I go to my secret campus toilet for a shit and someone else is in there
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@ChairliftCap BofA guys at least in Houston are head to toe in gear with the old Merrill lynch logo.
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There’s nothing more exhilarating than checking a girls VSCO link for the first time.
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How do you guys function after going hard over the weekend? It took me till 10pm on Monday to feel like a normal human again.
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@ShakerBall_Cap @The0nlyGuey @RealPETE2020 @Aubrey___K @NewsFinOil For a general understanding of the industry I would say it’s sufficient but it definitely has its moments (landman turning valves off on a blown pump jack).
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Me seeing the “famous influencer” in my class after she ghosted my hinge like
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Average USC/SMU/Umiami party.
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I’m glad burner Twitter informed me that I am not the only person that consistently looks at chicks VSCO profiles.
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My duplex neighbors car, wonder if he knows I tell everyone it’s mine
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Sipping fuckin Don Julio, in the fuckin popeyes section, by myself, with him. Chillin. Why? Because I studied bro.
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