Ed
@EdKirk
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h e l o
Chicago, IL
Joined March 2007
It is impossible to compare the suffering a pie feels to the suffering a croissant feels.
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favorite saltwater crocodile features 1) largest bite force on earth 2) jazz hands
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Someone literally pooped on the stairs of our neighborhoodâs L platform. I hate this city.
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Somewhere out there, horses are taking massive doses of the Moderna vaccine to cure the worms in their butts
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It's always, "How old is this fossil?" Never, "How is this fossil, emotionally?"
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The solstice will sneak up on you & attack if you let your guard down for even a single second.
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(((excited gay hand-flapping noises)))
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People who get pissed off when they see other people not practicing COVID-19 safety protocol in public but who are against restrictions being enforced on unvaccinated people make my face melt.
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Or what?! Youâll wag your finger at the next press conference? This entire pandemic, aâholes have been riding maskless with zero repercussion, putting rule-abiding riders at risk. Your office has claimed the L is unpoliceable. Enough talk!
I mean it. Donât.
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Still angry about this.
Tough times? F--k it, start carrying crayons in your wallet like a lunatic. Heck, with how the world has been going, why not? Use them to write IOU's because you lost your job, or start a new crayon-based currency that the government can't trace! You'd be crazy NOT to, idiot!
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Me, speaking loudly into the other room to my unfortunate boyfriend who isnât on Twitter: âHey sweetie, wanna see another good tweet I made?â
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They say you lose your taste when you have COVID and itâs true. Youâre bland after youâve had it and Iâm only looking to devour fresh humans.
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Tough times? F--k it, start carrying crayons in your wallet like a lunatic. Heck, with how the world has been going, why not? Use them to write IOU's because you lost your job, or start a new crayon-based currency that the government can't trace! You'd be crazy NOT to, idiot!
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