Branching out with the podcast and exploring a “Tell All Series” where I riff about former lovers. No real names of course. Episode 1 “CHINGER” This one has it all folks. Family secrets, corporate fraud, adultery, kidnapping and a web of lies. DM for episode link!

If you received any messages or there were posts from this account between 9/3/2024 and right now it wasn’t me.

If you thought the episode titled “Where I’ve Been” from August 2023 was exciting just wait until I release “Where I’ve Been Dos” It’s gonna blow your mind.

Just got an email from @JoeBiden and the subject line was: “I’m running?” FFS

I #VoteFerreira for @MLS Player of the Matchday!

Sebas finally scored

Happy Fathers Day to all the bed frames and box springs out there. You are the unsung hero’s of our paternity. You stay stiff when we can’t. You support when we wilt.

almost a month since we tied the knot and I married my "same star". We've had our bumps and will have bumps in the future but Communication is so important. Our two worst days as a couple we failed to communicate after the situation and it only got worse.

I make my woman breakfast, pack her lunch, rub her feet and take care of her. But occasionally I whisper a reminder in her ear: "I may act like the housewife, but I'm also the one that'll die defending you. Now, turn around and let me smack them cheeks."

Facts

As I sit here getting eaten alive by mosquitoes I question the Lord. Like did Noah really need to put these tiny fucking flying vampires on that boat? For real.

I see you marked yourself safe during the storm. I don't recall asking but that's cool. #LookAtMe

Married

The @HoustonDynamo may have lost but here’s a win you can celebrate. I’m marrying the most beautiful woman in the world in about 45 minutes. Sitting here dipping snuff in nothing but some fur lined slippers. She’s been doing makeup for an hour. I’ll still be ready first.

Nicest thing we’ve been called in a while. I’ll take it #holditdown

Wedding itinerary in New Orleans is as follows: Tuesday night checkin @hotelmonteleone Wednesday morning brunch at two sisters. Wednesday night get married 💍 in a cemetery followed by dinner at Cornet Thursday lunch with a Marine buddy Friday morning check out #NOLA

If you’re not picking up your woman like this so she can see the band better are you even in a relationship? #love @TheGasLightAnth #music

If she looks like this and looks at you like that even though you look like this, lock her down for life!

#Jorge2024 I’m voting for Jorge because he can walk down stairs without falling. No seriously I’d vote for Jorge over the other two options

Happy Birthday to Glenn He’s a legend amongst men The lands top broadcaster You can say that again Rhymes and lyrics aside @GlennDavisSoc is not only a top notch announcer but a top notch human being who exudes class and honesty. Happy Birthday Sir