Vαɳҽʂʂα ♡
@DreamsSarcastic
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Pinned Tweet
Some men are not for sex some men come to heal, repair, upgrade, restore, uplift and bring out the best in women
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I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
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I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together
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Husband : I want to die having sex
Wife : Atleast we know it'll be quick
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Her : choke me Daddy
Him : I only like intellectual girls
Her : restrict my airflow father figure
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A man is only insecure about a woman when he is sure that she deserves better
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All I'm saying is that don't be afraid to get on top if he dies he dies
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I'm at that stage of life where I have no place for bullshit and shitty drama
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I'm nobody's ex. If we break up I dont know you. It's as simple
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Why are you wearing that outfit again?
Me: Because I paid for it and I have a washing machine
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Having sex on a regular basis keeps memory alive. I wish you all an amazing 2018
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I can't explain anything when you've decided to misunderstand
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All I'am saying is that my body wakes up at 8 am, brain at 9 am, mood at 10 am, and soul at 12 pm
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I'm one crisis away from piercing my nipples
Me flirting
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Sex so good that neighbours come forward to congratulate
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Sex is great but have you ever tried being in your own space enjoying your own company
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All boys like being called daddy until the pregnancy test is fucking positive
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If I spend the night with you and if we dont fucking fuck I'm peeing in the bed
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All I'm saying is that I need a boyfriend who accepts my weirdness and love me as much as I will love
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Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry
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Maturity is when you love someone but you don't pressurize them to love you back
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You're going the wrong way if you think you're always right
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Multitasking is listening, ignoring and forgetting at the same time
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Eating junk food is so fucking common that when someone starts eating healthy its instantly labeled as dieting
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I got 99 problems and not laying in your arms right now is atleast 98 of them
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Sometimes I keep staring at my own face like "am I real" ?
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You are solely responsible for your own actions not their feelings
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Investing in yourself is not a luxury anymore its a fucking necessity
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Asking my imaginary boyfriend if he'll kiss me in the rain
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What is the first reaction when you see yourself in mirror?
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I'm not lazy it's just that I don't feel like doing anything
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I think offline is new peace of mind but it's boring af
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Me as a therapist
Wink at people for no fucking reason
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You continue to care for them but do they really care for you ?
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Think twice before flirting I fall in love in 2 seconds
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All I'm saying is that I'm a sucker for affection and someone who can't keep their hands off me
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They're fucking too jealous to like your posts and too nosey to unfriend you.Babe give them a show
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All I'm saying is that I correct the fucking autocorrect more than it corrects me
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If my imaginary boyfriend wanna go through my phone and ruin his day that's on him
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I miss the days when I sneezed and people would politely say "BLESS YOU"
Now they say FUCK YOU
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Why are elderly people called old people but children are not called new people
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Why do girls like bad boys but still crave to be loved gently?
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More interested in how life feels rather than how life look to others
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I don't take anyting for granted and I'm damn proud of it
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A friend opened a new strip club called.....
THE G-SPOT
After few weeks he had to close it as most men couldn't find it
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Sometimes I sleep on my watermelons if I'm not sleeping sideways
Me flirting one more time
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Even after studying for full 20 years people will still judge you by a resume of fucking 2 pages
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All I'm saying is men loose 50% of their thinking ability when they see nipples
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Sometimes heart is full of sadness and mind is full of chaos
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I never hug a pillow even in sleep, what if it hugs me back?
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My dating era has come to an end, I'd like to thank those who participated
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The only animal that a Lion is afraid of is his lady Lioness so if you are afraid of your lady that means you are a Lion
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School days were good when only litmus paper changed colours
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All I' m saying is that I'm gonna marry a younger guy so when I'm losing any argument I can say... shut up I'm older than you
me flirting
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Get you a man who doesn't make you question your self worth
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Women only fart in front of men they love, if you not hearing any fucking farts I'm sorry then gentlemen you don't got her heart
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No one can choose the music life plays for us but we can chose how to dance to it
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Her : the doctor said I can't have sex for 4 weeks
Him : what did the dentist say?
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You don't have to feel bad for setting boundaries for someone
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Book reading is fucking great anytime and thats the tweet
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Had sex in the dream last night and that shit was so good that you want to text that person "thank you for a lovely time"
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Few days I fuck my life and few days life fucks me it's an orgasmic cycle
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If I say I will call you I will no need to remind me every six months
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I can't sit and stare at you all my life until you marry me
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Being loved by me is a privilege and you are the lucky winner
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You are a girl, a woman, a poem, a queen, a princess, a fucking dream
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I'm always fucking drunk and tweeting. Will I be accepted?
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