Dr. Porkpie
@DrPorkpie
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he/him i would like to be friends with your cat
Joined September 2011
The target demo for all of my tweets is myself and if you like them too thats your fault
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Circadian Rhythm is actually the name of the first UK rapper who was ever knighted
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We all got that one homie who’s as pleasant as the morning dew
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UGH my dream didnt even get the basic topology of my childhood home right, this is unbelievable
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Did you know? The phrase "when did the grocery store start playing good music?" translates into english as "when did i get old?"
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Chim-chimeny chim-chimeny Chim chim, charoo Dont know who you are but im, Im with you
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“The next Superman has to be someone who has all the humanity that Superman has but he’s also an alien. It’s gotta be somebody who has the kindness and the compassion that Superman has and be somebody who you want to give a hug.” https://t.co/58iZzWurQR
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Quin Snyder can get it tonight. His hair is doing something particularly gettable. I’m not 100% sure if I’m allowed to say that but if I’m not it would be a pretty funny thing to be reprimanded over.
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If a dracula had a motorcycle, he could just have one big mirror right in the middle
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KAT is a deeply unserious basketball player and the timberwolves are an unserious basketball team
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"Tumthumping" is my cover of Chumbawamba's smash hit, except all the instrumentation is my hamboning on my tummy
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Pregaming breakfast by waking up an hour early, eatihg a bowl of cereal, and going back to bed
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Triple A batteries? No thanks, i only want batteries that have played in the majors.
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a key element of fascism is making it appear that the entire world is organized against your group when in fact you are in the most advantageous and powerful position in society. the los angeles lakers are a textbook example of this phenomenon.
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Got enough sleep for the first time in 4 days and my mood improved dramatically? Something doesnt seem right, requires additional investigation, etc
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