Donald J. Cohen
@DonaldJCohen
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Point72 and 5th President of the New York Mets! 🇺🇸(Parody)
Stamford, CT
Joined March 2019
The more you say it’s not funny, the more I’ll tweet!
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Carlos Correa is a very weak individual. He doesn’t have a healthy enough ankle to be a New York Met. Even Darin Ruf’s ankle is better (Yikes!). Only people with working ankles can play for me. I hire big strong people here! Good look in Minnesota where there’s nothing to do!
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Have more discussions with Carlos and Scott. Working hard!
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Wimpy Jake deGrom said he went to the Rangers because he’s sees a team trying to win?! The Mets have been doing nothing but winning under my ownership. Wimpy Jake is just scared of the bright lights! But not Justin Verlander!
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Jacob deGrom (very weak) chose Texas, a total dump, rather than beautiful and Sunny Queens. So I brought in Justin Verlander, a very strong guy and alpha male! Him and his beautiful wife Kate Upton are a better fit than wimpy Jake!
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Out of all the many tremendous (and some weak) candidates who interviewed for this position, Buck rose above the rest with his experience and heart. Let me tell you folks, he has a big heart. Not bigger than mine but its still pretty big. Many people have said this. Working hard!
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I’m pleased to announce the great Buck Showalter as the new manager of the the World Series favorites New York Mets
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Congratulations to the Atlanta Guardians on winning the World Series!
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Raquel Welch Ferreira is not returning my phone calls for the Mets GM position. Maybe she’s busy!
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Wannabe Brad Pitt (overrated!) Billy Jelly Beane was never a serious option for the very important position im looking to fill. Stick to crime ridden Oakland with a shithole stadium! The only moneyball in baseball is my bank account! Next!
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I have just fired Luise Rojas like a dog. Very poor performances and quiet frankly, he was very week and couldn’t manage the tremendous talent roster I assembled him. Will hire someone tough!
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deGrom’s mRI came back tremendously perfect. Just a small minor tear like a paper. Nothing to worry about. Don’t listen to the dishonest media led by Yapping Tony DiComo and No Talent Joelle Sherman. Jake is fine!
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Snowflakes Francis Lindor and Havier Baez did a very nasty and incomprehensible gesture too our tremendous well paying Mets fans. Punishments will cum down!
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The many overrated and quiet frankly, bad hitters in our lineup are embarrassing me (not my fault!) and the loyal and tremendous Mets fans. Louise Rowhas and Twittledeebuam have not done a good job. I will asses their jobs at the end of the season. Heads will role!
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