Dolly Marlowe 💋
@DollyMarlowe
Followers
3,671
Following
631
Media
10,571
Statuses
74,207
The Showgirl Nextdoor💎I put the ass in clASSic burlesque💎House of Knyle Diamond💎Booking: dollymarlowe @gmail .com
California, USA
Joined June 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Reserve your spot today at or follow the l!nk in my b!o
Riverside, CA
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I don’t take care of myself so I can look young forever. I take care of myself so I can grow old, retire to a small village, and solve crimes whilst irritating local law enforcement.
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Accidentally sent nudes to my family chat this morning. How’s your day going?
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New Netflix movie just dropped
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I don’t care what gen z says about skinny pants. I’ve got great legs and an ass that won’t quit. I REFUSE to wear paper bag pants cinched up to my boobs. Hide all of this under all of that?! Absolutely not. Thank you. Next.
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Starbucks this morning. A girl wearing a The Clash jacket is waiting.
Barista calls out: London Calling
Her:
Me:*giggles*
Her:
Me:*Taps her shoulder* “London Calling”, that’s you.
Don’t wear it if you don’t know it. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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My 87 year old gran just announced to the household that she wasn’t wearing underwear with her jammies. 😳😹
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I just watched my teenage son juggle three coffees and a bag of pastries so he could hold the door for a woman running to the coffee shop out of the rain. Gentlemen are the boys we raise with intention 💝
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Ladies, get you a man that holds you like Sean Astin holds this otter.
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Nothing screams “man cave” like some live, laugh, love signage.
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🧵Someone just got mad at me because I refused their booking. I VERY POLITELY explained I do not perform at weddings where children may be present, and if there are minors present, I will not go on, but I will be paid my full fee. 🪡
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Dear women under 30,
Please stop calling women over 30 “old”. Stop acting like women *older than you* are not beautiful, sexy, or worthy. You are programming your mindset to devalue your future self. You, too, will get older. How you’ll feel about yourself then starts now.
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My mother has been sick with COVID for the past 10 days. The moment she started feeling better, she texted me mom jokes. Like, rolled off her sickbed to text me mom jokes. 💝
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Prayers, please.
My man-cub just found out one of his former classmates died in a car accident over the weekend. He went to a very small, close-knit school. The entire 7th grade was only 15 students. The entire community is grieving. 💔
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Word of unsolicited advice: do not get high then go to the Cheesecake Factory.
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Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans! 🇺🇸
I know it isn’t fashionable these days to say you’re proud of or happy to be an American, but I am. Let me tell you why…
I am the product of a long line of immigrants who came here for a different li…
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My Old Glory bathing suit won’t be here until the 7th, so I’ll leave you with this little blast from the past. Hands down, my favorite shoot ever. It was such an honor and privilege to shoot with these incredible warbirds (the P-51 Mustang is my all time…
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Just picked up my mancub from his last day of school only to find out he drew d*cks in at least 5 other kid’s yearbooks. Really looking forward to calls from angry parents.
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Ooh! Look! Only $.25 to smell every mistake I’ve ever made.
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Ugh. I hate these kinds of tweets. Yes, I have a nice rack, but that isn’t the only reason people follow me. My ass is 🔥🔥🔥 also.
What percentage of your followers are there because of your tits?
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@lingerie_addict
This is a fantastic thread, & why I appreciate fashion historians so much. People tend to see things from only their time and pov without considering the social etiquette & constructs of times before, which turns into silly statements like “ladies used to dress like ladies” etc
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My mother just referred to tortillas as “burrito skins”.
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Hummingbird nest in my roses with two little baby eggs! 😻
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Dear Men,
As a lady, I hold an elevated divine status. I do not touch doors. Not on buildings, not on cars. It is a chivalrous act of reverence from you I appreciate. I also smile and say thank you in kind.
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Hey guys, if you like blowjobs so much, maybe stop using “suck my dick” as an insult.
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If I clean my house whilst wearing my skates, I’ll get done faster, right?!
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I don’t want a left leaning platform. I don’t want a right leaning platform. I just want a platform without bias and censorship. Rules protecting minors are important, beyond that, let people be free to create and share. Visible nipples won’t hurt anyone, and words can be ignored
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📣 📣YOU’RE WELCOME FOR MY SERVICE 📣📣
Staring at boobs may give a boost to male lifespans
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Remember having to call the movie theater recording for a movie time, and then someone in the room would talk and you’d miss your time, so you’d have to go through the whole loop again? Good times.
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🪡This woman became absolutely indignant and says “if their parents don’t care why do you?!”
Because it’s MY body
Because it’s MY labor
Because my boundaries are just as important as the client’s
Just because you’re willing to pay me doesn’t mean I’m obligated to accept🪡
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I’m watching the documentary on
@QueenWillRock
with
@adamlambert
, and OMG when they tour the US I want to see them so bad. Front row scream singing Killer Queen.
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Lordy, Lordy! Look who’s forty-four!
Vintage cocktail dress from Tiddlywinks Vintage, repro Polly mules from Unique Vintage
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My cat, Tofu, got out Saturday afternoon, and still hasn’t come home yet. I am beside myself with worry. Prayers for his safe return would be sincerely appreciated. 💔
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Someone made a fake Instagram account to tell me I’m ugly without makeup.
First of all, who has the time for all that?!
Second, I work in entertainment. I’ve been called worse by casting directors & other performers TO MY FACE.
Get out of here with your weak anonymous insults.😹
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For the past week my Mr. has been freaking out about a missing receipt he needs for an expense report. We’ve searched files, the cars, drawers, boxes, EVERYWHERE to no avail.
The cat just dropped a crumpled up piece of paper at my feet for a game of fetch. Guess what it is...
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Fair warning, once things fully open up again, I’m overdressing for EVERYTHING.
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@HBOMaxHelp
Dear Intern,
I once mistyped the word “forever” in a company wide email. It autocorrected to “foreskin”.
We then got a company wide email from HR reminding us to thoroughly proofread our messages.
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My DMs are strictly for business inquiries and actual personal friends. Anything you need to say to be can be made in a reply.
Also, no need to DM things like “nice tits”. I already know they are.
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Men. amirite?!
Male bottlenose dolphins have been observed to masturbate by wrapping a live eel around their penis.
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A woman standing behind me at Starbucks asked where I got my yoga leggings because she thought my “ass is amazing” and then she said “get it mami!” and honestly, I’m going to live on that compliment for weeks. 💝
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About to consume two days worth of calories at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my Mancub’s successful first quarter of school. Please pray for my thighs.
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Helen Mirren is 72 years old, and still has a great rack!
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Just because I don’t talk about politics doesn’t mean I agree with yours.
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My wonderful friend
@aelfred_D
got married today 🎉🍾
He would like to have hot wedding night sex with his new bride, but family & friends won’t leave. If you’re reading this, do me a solid, even if you don’t know him, and tell him to kick everyone out & jump his wife already!
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My mr just lost his fingertip to a table saw, so Father’s Day weekend is off to a grand start.
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I just got word that my cat, Myrna, passed away in her sleep last night. My mom made her a bed in a laundry basket and carried her around all day so she wouldn’t be alone for a single moment.
Myrna was a rescued…
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Happy anniversary to the love of my life, the man I can honestly say I could not live without. Thank you for being my anchor in every storm and for giving me the best 21 years of my life. I love you 5evah! 💋
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Thank you to everyone for the prayers and kind words. Tofu is home safe!
Tofu is a feral cat I (accidentally) adopted when he was 6 weeks old. He’s a wild animal, but he’s never lived outside on his own, so he’s special needs in that regard. Which is why I was so worried.
My cat, Tofu, got out Saturday afternoon, and still hasn’t come home yet. I am beside myself with worry. Prayers for his safe return would be sincerely appreciated. 💔
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🪡Anyway, just a little etiquette tip: If you’re looking to book an artist remember you’re auditioning for us. You already know you want to hire me. I’m deciding if I want to take you on as a client. No one chooses freelance because it’s easy. We do it for personal freedom. 🧵
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@aelfred_D
Can you imagine being the woman in this meme?! My life would be set. I would die a happy girl.
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I’m all for train travel, but only if it looks like this
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I have extremely high expectations for the new Roaring Twenties. I expect your full cooperation.
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@netflix
I’m a dancer, and this is bullshit! I would never pose underage girls in my classes like this! This isn’t “artwork”, this is an intentionally posed shot for show promotion. And twerking is meant to be a sexualized dance, which is great for adults, but NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!
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You’re welcome for my service
A German study concludes that staring at women's breasts for 10 minutes a day is better for your health than going to the gym.
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@trim_obey
Human sexuality is my business, and I think this piece and this film are disgusting. Quit trying to normalize “child sexuality”. It’s absolutely depraved.
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My mother has just discovered texting gifs. Lord help me.
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Got less than fantastic news today, so I’m going to eat junk and drink too much. Ok? Ok.
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Happy birthday to my favorite Devil Dogs! I don’t have any USMC wardrobe, so here’s me dressed as a sailor, because same thing, right?!
(I kid, I kid 😉💋)
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If you’ve got someone in your life pushing “detox” teas or smoothies at you, simply remind them that your organs already do this, and drink your water heau
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I will always maintain that beards are hot af. You don’t have to like them, but to me, a well groomed beard is the finishing touch on a man that is just *chef’s kiss* perfection.
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Personally, I like my world, and the people in it to be colorful and lively, creative and kind, and if that makes me a fool, I’m ok with that. Because when it’s all said and done, I’d rather be a fool than a monster. I’d rather people say about me, “she was silly but kind”
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I really try not to follow the news too much, but from what I understand, Jeff Bezos left Earth in a giant penis.
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I really hate side-by-side shaming comparisons of women. These are real people. How would you like it if someone posted a photo of you next to a “more attractive person” for internet strangers to dissect & make fun of? 1/2...
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I don’t care how ugly the political atmosphere gets or how nasty Twitter becomes, I’ll never stop genuinely liking people. Not everyone is a good person, but most people are. I think most disagreements come from people wanting to do the right thing, but just not agreeing how to.
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Personal story and reflection time. Gather ‘round, won’t you?
Growing up, I was frequently accused of being a liar because my life was “too fantastic”, I was bullied for it relentlessly. My friends even asked my mother if I was lying about the stories I shared...
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Alright, kids! There’s more peach vodka in this milkshake than milkshake. It’s time for Tipsy Tweets! 🪡🧵🪡
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@zachsilberberg
I’m embarrassed to say how long I stared at this photo trying to figure out what this graphic was
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