Tim Houston - Premier of Nova Scotia parody
@DimHouston
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Parody: Not the Premier of Nova Scotia. Serious tweets signed by ND. https://t.co/2LJ5De8nrL
Nova Scotia, Canada
Joined January 2024
Announcing Mööber!. Our moose-powered rideshare is an eco-friendly, sustainable alternative to cars. We’re training Nova Scotia’s moose population to carry passengers along rural roads and Halifax streets. Had one too many wobbly pops? Missed the school bus? Call a Mööber!
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Announcing Halifax’s Shared Path Harmony Zones. We will have leash-optional dog parks to run parallel and overlapping with bike lanes to encourage coexistence with our four-legged citizens! More dogs faster!
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And you should see the inside!
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More US tariffs? Canada should shut off American access to PornHub. -ND.
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I’ve been advised they’re nearly right at the cyclist’s knuckle level. So keep that in mind. Safety first.
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Bollard forests are being planted in every bicycle lane in Halifax. Sure they could just rust in storage, but these bollards now act as synthetic forest canopies protecting the underlying asphalt. Environmentally friendly because it’s recycling. More bollards, faster!
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We’re already getting complaints about the bumps. Look, you have no idea how much uranium exploration we had to do to get that amount of excess rocks on the cheap. Plus the paths naturally glow a little at night so it’s a win/win. So lighten up. Pun intended.
For all bike lanes in Halifax, we’re announcing a Heritage Cobblestone Revival!. All paved bike lanes and paths will be replaced with authentic cobblestone for aesthetic continuity with the 1800s. Investing in the needs of our cycling community, faster!
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For all bike lanes in Halifax, we’re announcing a Heritage Cobblestone Revival!. All paved bike lanes and paths will be replaced with authentic cobblestone for aesthetic continuity with the 1800s. Investing in the needs of our cycling community, faster!
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Farewell to Nova Scotia just doesn’t cut it anymore. Suggestions for a new song?.
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I like that joke because it has a couple layers.
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Considering the convoy and prison time, that one tooth is the last thing standing between Tamara Lich and a full-blown harmonica career. -ND.
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Yeah. These guys are reasonable, peaceful protesters. -ND.
@mark_slapinski Tamara Lich is a natioral hero, and if the crown sentences her, or Barber to a thing more than time served, I will be advocating for civil war!.
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I can do Tamara Lich jokes all day. -ND.
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Freedom convoy supporters think Tamara Lich is Canada’s Rosa Parks. Rosa wasn’t trying to storm Parliament in a semi with a vape pen for the right to cough on people at a Costco. -ND.
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Tamara Lich’s supporters think "critical thinking" is when you criticize everything that makes you feel dumb. -ND.
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Tamara Lich’s sentencing hearing is the first time freedom convoy supporters have sat silently and listened to an expert. -ND.
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If 7 years is his plan, are you still going to trust it? -ND.
He’s answered every single prayer I’ve prayed and I trust His plan. Thy will, not my will. 🙏🏼❤️🇨🇦.
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RIP Ozzy Osbourne. Playing Enter Sandman today.
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Muskoka cottage country: where people lose their virginity in boathouses that their moms got in the divorce.
This morning, Canada’s premiers arrived in Muskoka for our Council of the Federation meeting. Together, we’re united in standing up for Canada from coast to coast to coast.
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This aged so incredibly well.
Late entry I know, but I’m officially announcing my candidacy for Halifax mayor. I can do just as poor of a job as anyone except maybe Andy Fillmore. Plus neither mayor nor premier is a full time job. They’re essentially the same job anyway so whatever. #Dim4Mayor #Vote4Dim
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This is me at a pharmacy with educated medical professionals, along with our anti-science and anti-vaccine MLA who probably wanted to replace the actual medicine with water.
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