Dean Dobbs
@DeanDobbs
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oh boy. jack & dean. video content creator for @PayloadStudios . ✉️ Business: deananthonydobbs @gmail .com
London, England
Joined April 2011
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animal crossing: you can only craft one fish bait at a time
also animal crossing: this entirely optional wall fan has it’s own wind physics
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So we’re in Medium Covid-19 when we actually need Lemon & Herb Covid-19? Gotcha.
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Jim Carrey talking about Sonic is very, very different to anyone else talking about Sonic.
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Game Designer: I spent 2 weeks designing a puzzle.
Me: Stairs. Made of ice.
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it's 4am and i'm cry laughing over this video of tim curry delivering the greatest line of dialogue ever
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human: i am sad
video of dog: hello
human: I am temporarily fine
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@danielhowell
That zoom after “why can’t we have straight pride” fucked me up.
The rest of it fucked me up too but that was different and a lot more life affirming and meaningful.
Should’ve started with that.
♥️
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Looked*
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Leonardo gave a woman a blood transfusion and accidentally turned her into a turtle and it’s making my bones hurt
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I look hideous but I had to share this.
@AmazingPhil
clearly enjoying my company.
http://t.co/2R3y6xVT5b
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10 years ago two lads from a town you’ve never heard of bonded over Panic! At The Disco.
Today...
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animal crossing players: just being soft, feeling the vibes and picking flowers with my friends! this game came at the perfect time ☺️🌸
also animal crossing players:
get this fucking disgusting chicken off my island. they don’t belong here.
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It’s Mental Health awareness week.
June 10th will mark a year on from my suicide attempt. I was ready and prepared to go forever.
But, with almost filmic timing, my Mum called me and I just listened. She didn’t know what she was doing, I couldn’t tell her. But it stopped me.
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no one:
no one:
no one:
there’s no one:
absolutely no one:
you’re alone:
sorry:
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Accountability.
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4 years ago I edited You Me At Six’s wikipedia page to give
@JackHoward
a credit on Sinners Never Sleep. Today it’s in a book.
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hogwarts always looked like a shit school anyway. massive tory energy. also the stairs could make you late?
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*I make Thanos a cup of tea and he takes a sip*
Thanos: Perfectly balanced... as all things should be.
Me: Thanks, Thanos.
Thanos: 😘
Me: 😘
*We fuck*
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Also I love Steve now. That is my review of Stranger Things 2.
I give the whole season Steve out of Steve.
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⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️
⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️🧙♂️
⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️🟫
🔥🏄🏻♂️🔥🟫🟫
🟥🟥🟥🟫🟫
It’s over, Anakin.
I have the high ground.
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My depression is a lot like Disney in the way that it owns every part of me and relies on Star Wars.
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“How dare you” absolutely destroyed me. I think it’s the 3 most powerful words used in honest, passionate anger. Greta is a fucking monolith.
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The General? To me, she’s royalty.
Can’t believe it’s been a year already.
May the force be with you, Carrie Fisher ✨
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A very drunk guy in Tesco just asked me for my number. I took my mask off and said “Are you sure? I’m not much a looker!” and he just gasped and went “I thought you were a woman, but… fuck it”.
I now have Joe’s number. Let’s see how this plays out.
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from now on
we talk to every animal
like it’s in Red Dead Redemption 2
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Oh man, thank you so much
@danielhowell
! Had a feeling you’d look a bit nice in it ✨
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i hope brendon urie, brendon urie, brendon urie and especially brendon urie can all remain friends after this 😔
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Can hear my neighbours having sex and I think one of them just said “I’m going to wear your pussy”.
My sides are aching. I really, really hope that’s what they said.
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“Sonic is the innocence he can no longer connect with. He wants to own it but he can never be it”
“Yeah, but in the film tho” 👍
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Is this… the very first example of an actor going method and not acting like a huge dickhead? 👁️🫦👁️
Ryan Gosling reveals that Margot Robbie sent him a gift every day to help him develop his character as Ken:
“She left a pink present with a pink bow, from Barbie to Ken, every day while we were filming. They were all beach-related.”
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It’s time to come clean.
Scarlett Johansson and Dean Dobbs are one of the same.
I, Scarlett Johansson, have been portraying a 27 year old white man from the UK for around 10 years on the popular video streaming website YouTube. I have no regrets.
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It’s
#InternationalMensDay
!
Reminding you it’s okay to feel things and to share those feelings with others. One of the worst things about masculinity is that it teaches you the opposite. Be fucking soft. It’s fine ✨
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*sips water*
*clears throat*
MY CHEMICAL NOMANCE
Gerard Way on the possibility of a My Chemical Romance reunion: "I don't think so"
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Frozen 2 was good but the part where Elsa defeated the villain by freezing the pee in his balls was crazy dark.
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I can’t say I’m better, I’m not sure what that even means.
But talk to someone. Talk to a friend, talk to a parent, talk to a professional.
I’m not sure what I’m saying, but talking is important. I can’t stress that enough.
We’re all lucky to have you.
Stick around x
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Once again, we’re reminded how hard he works. Because we’re in this together. We’re a “family”.
Once again, it’s described as “negativity”. Because it never occurred to him that Aokigahara isn’t a fucking theme park.
Put him in the bin.
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20 years ago, I saw a UFO-shaped McDonald's on the way to Center Parcs. I asked my Mum if we could go after our trip. She gaslighted me and said it "wasn't real".
Well, guess who remembered about the UFO-shaped McDonald's on the eve of his 29th birthday and has fucking Google.
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Someone just asked me if they could sit next to me on the tube.
I said “no” for a laugh and they just left before I could say “I’m kidding” and now I feel like a massive dickhead but also kind of powerful.
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it is your duty to turn off motion smoothing on any new TVs this christmas. please. even if you gotta wait for your dad to leave the room. they won’t notice. i promise.
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anxiety: hello
me: what do you want?
anxiety: nothing really. just wanted to make you worry before you sleep.
me: oh good.
anxiety: and sit on your chest.
me: ᵒʰ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
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@RishiSunak
Call me crazy but I feel like being protected from slavery is just a basic human right. Those last three words are “basic human right”, but I imagine you have them muted. Hope everyone else can see em.
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wear a mask or i’ll strangle you
if you’re into that and still wear a mask, then i’ll happily strangle you to say “thanks”
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Not insane! It’s me :)
Am I going actually insane or is
@DeanDobbs
in a phone insurance ad on tv ?? 😂 I got far too excited about this
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Me: I’ve only got 2 brain cells.
Better use em wisely...
Brain cell 1: Wa
Brain cell 2: Luigi
Me: Nice.
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Just had someone shout “LIPS” at me from across the street.
Thank you so much ♥️
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Nice try, Kevin.
I hope Kevin Spacey has a shit Christmas. Hate him. Nasty little tit box. Put him in the bin.
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Pretty messed up that Logan Paul had to point out this was “YouTube History”.
It’s almost like this man gets off on being the first to things. Biggest meet up ever? Dead body hanging from a tree? It’s all the same apparently.
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me: i like (and kinda fancy) hopper from stranger things
them: he’s problematic
me: you’re definitely right. i still enjoy the character (and like his moustache).
them: that says a lot about you.
me: yes, it means i like acting and moustaches.
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every now and then i remember that time facebook made a slideshow of my broken phone called “friday afternoon”
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Oh my god, Logan.
All you needed to do was to avoid anything dead. That was it. Just anything even remotely close to being dead. Dipshit liar.
Put. Him in. The bin.
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i just told a stranger to “fuck off” cause they were like “why are you wearing a mask” and i’ve never felt so alive i should be mean to people more often
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I was born and I’m sorry about it.
Type “I was born” and then let your predictive write your autobiography.
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*overheard in the bathroom at EGX*
Dad: Who’s your favourite then? Mario or Sonic?
Son (must be 7/8): Well, I do like Sonic but Mario has the better games.
Dad: You think so?
Son: Yeah, he’s aged better.
Dad: Like a fine wine?
Son: I don’t know, Dad.
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Kylo: I killed Snoke
Palpatine:丨 爪卂ᗪ乇 丂几ㄖҜ乇
Henchmen: No, you didn’t. We did. This entire crew did. You might’ve paid for it but you don’t know anything about dark science or cloning. You’re a zombie politician. Stop taking credit for other people’s work.
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yknow what i hate most about moths
the tapping
you hear it before you see it
the tapping
moths are so big you can hear them
the tapping
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Luigi fucks.
We’ve all been saying it for years.
Mario? Been chasing the
same girl for 30 years.
Luigi? He’s a polyamorous King who only nurtures healthy, communication driven relationships.
Also he’s fucking all the time.
Nintendo’s player research showed Luigi was an attractive lead character to a female audience
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if one more person misconstrues my depression for “laziness” i’m gonna stay in bed, be sad and never bring it up with them, allowing it to fester and hurt me gradually
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everyone keeps unfollowing me on Instagram so i’m going to be ugly on the platform where people like me 🥺
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Pennywise: I’m an ancient space monster from a billion years ago. I’m operating on a reality so messed up that humans have to see me as a Clown to make sense of me.
Bill Hader: Actually you’re just a big meanie.
Pennywise: :( you’re right
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Used a mechanical alarm clock to wake up today. Never fucking doing that again. Scariest sound I’ve ever heard in my life. It was so loud my rib cage started to rattle and I thought I was going to die. It’s going in the bin before I leave the house. FUCK.
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Pretty distressing that someone got to shout “I don’t believe this person had suicidal thoughts” on live TV and won’t feel any substantial consequences for doing so. I have no idea why anyone would let that happen (beyond TV ratings), but it did. How horrible. How utterly fucked.
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Isn’t it insane that we have to have this conversation in 2017?
The sky is blue, don’t sexualise kids ✨
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“fac-e-book”
What would someone have to whisper in your ear for this to happen?
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people becoming actively less interested in you is properly heartbreaking
i can change, i’ll watch an anime or stick toothpicks to my eyelids just don’t leave
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Broke into a Vaccination Clinic and guzzled down a mix of about 50-68 vials of AstraZeneca and Pfizer (and a bottle of Evian). This is what immunity looks like. I feel fantastic.
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Who left their flower crown last night?
Haha "their". It's mine now.
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I wish people worked like the cold side of a pillow.
If you get uncomfortable you could just flip them over and they’d be like “Voilà! I’m bearable again!”.
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Cinderella:
I can’t go to the Ball! I’ve got nothing to wear!
Furry God Mother:
*giggles*
I got you fam.
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me: wow someone who makes things i really enjoy just followed me, better make sure my tweets are presentable and only tweet jokes so high brow your brows would leave the earths orbit
me (2 hours later, after forgetting): I’M GONNA TWEET ABOUT PUTTING MY NINTENDO SWITCH UP MY ASS
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9 years ago, three guys sat down and took a selfie together in the Google London HQ. Little did they know that the guy in the middle would turn out to be a bag of sentient baby teeth acting as a hive mind in a human shaped bag made to look like a tiny emo kid. Truly iconic.
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Me and BB-8 are about to hit the clubs.
Someone's looking niiiiiiiiiiice 💕
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Government: We’ve bought a bunch of vaccines for you!
Us: Yay!
Government: ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᶦᶜʳᵒᶜʰᶦᵖˢ ᶦⁿˢᶦᵈᵉ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵃˡˡᵒʷ ᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵘᵐ ᵒⁿ ᵈᵉᵐᵃⁿᵈ
Us: Wha?
Government: Just kidding! Enjoy!
Us: 🎉 💃🎈🕺 🎊
Government: ᵈᵉˡᶦᶜᶦᵒᵘˢ ᶜᵘᵐ
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@danielhowell
You being one of the tallest living things I've ever seen, I must have the body of someone who's existed for 0.37 seconds
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just shut up about the cats trailer.
you ruined my chance to see a terrifying vision of sonic the hedgehog.
and now you’re trying to destroy my musical furry fever dream ensemble movie.
please. just let things get weird.
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Here’s my review of Infinity War:
DC, just quit. It’s embarrassing.
#ThanosDemandsYourSilence
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An old man at the supermarket just dropped a jar of pesto and said “I’m a silly sausage”. His delivery was so earnest that I might cry before I reach the till.
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