SAT Tip #1: Hold onto your pencil. And your dignity. SAT Tip #2: Don’t flirt with the floor. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #SATire #SAT #Test Love Fun & Funny Stories? EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r Free Kindle Reading App: https://t.co/rs0rv9LaY5 😎🖖❤️

Hilarious Newhart blooper...

I’m hoping my wit and charm turn her despising into love. But even despising’s okay, as long we have “fireworks.” #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #MadeUpStats #AmazingWoman #ThirtyAndFlirty #DespicableMe #TrueLove #Fireworks Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️

On the bright side, lots of lovely ladies want to visit me. And at least one of them has hypnotic eyes. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #YesterdaysMemePartTwo #Caught #Oops #HypnoticEyes #MasterThief #TheMidnightAppropriator EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️

They said I wouldn’t amount to much, but little do they know that I’m the master thief: The Midnight Appropriator. And their 401K just dropped to 0K. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #She #HypnoticEyes #BadHabits #MasterThief Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️

The same boss who fired a man for blinking too loudly. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #SadReality #Girls #Relationships #CoffeeSpills #DolceGabbana Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unpusRZ Free Kindle Reading App: https://t.co/rs0rv9LIND 😎🖖❤️

Diamond Dean at LOL - Men Never Marry The Woman You Love #DeanSays #DeanBurkey #DiamondDean #Comedy #StandUpComedy #LOL #LaughOutLounge #WinterHavenFL #Men #Women #NeverMarryTheWomanYouLove #Fries 😎🖖❤️ https://t.co/06FyAfomMm

They told me time flies. But they didn’t tell me it flies on a rocket! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #BackToTheFutureDay #FluxCapacitorFails #TimeTravelTechSupport #RocketMan #ComedyChrononaut Love Fun & Funny Stories? EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unpusRZ 😎🖖❤️

“I knew it! I’m just pixels in a simulation. I’m just a whole wad of digital nothingness!” #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Satire #RejectedByTheInternet #PixelatedHeartTrauma #ComputerCatastrophe Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unpusRZ 😎🖖❤️

And whoa now! They only work if you have horse sense. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Satire #Reality Pills #HorseSense #Neigh Love Fun & Funny Stories? EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r Free Kindle Reading App: https://t.co/rs0rv9LaY5 😎🖖❤️

For some odd reason, guilty parties always hate fingers of blame. They’re also not big fans of thumbs of accountability either. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Satire #Guilty #Blame #ComeTogether Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unpusRZ 😎🖖❤️

👉But that still sounds way more delicious than DEMON ARMPIT PASTA.😳🔥 #DeanSays #DeanMemes #funny #comedy #AngelHairPasta #Food #Semantics #Angels #Purple #Supermodel #Celia Love Fun, Sexy, Robot Stories with Twist Endings? Enjoy Robotica: https://t.co/ZHocLGuSGS PG-13. 😎🖖❤️

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaat AWESOME Moment when people reassure you that you’re not totally uncool. (But we’ll have to wait to see if that moment ever happens.) #DeanSays #DiamondDean #DeanMemes #ThatAwkwardMoment #Comedy #SadReality EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️

Super Fun Time Tonight at The Laugh Out Lounge in Winter Haven, FL. Come join the fun! All The Best, Diamond💎Dean #DeanSays #DeanBurkey #DiamondDean #Comedy #StandUpComedy #LOL #LaughOutLounge #WinterHavenFL #APerfectWoman #Women 😎🖖❤️ https://t.co/uGsvRhISc7

Diamond Dean: Women Want Empathy #DeanSays #DeanBurkey #DiamondDean #Comedy #StandUpComedy #LOL #LaughOutLounge #WinterHavenFL #Women #Empathy #WhatMostMenDontRealize 😎🖖❤️ https://t.co/fJBLDIaaX4

After all, he said he couldn’t live without her. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #WinWin #Relationships #HowToAvoidHeartbreak #TheSmotheredBrother Love Fun & Funny Stories? EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r Free Kindle Reading App: https://t.co/rs0rv9LaY5 😎🖖❤️

Diamond💎Dean's "Florida Man!" is a laugh-out-loud, off-the-wall comedy adventure packed with gators, flamingos, wild mishaps, and a surprising amount of heart and soul. #DeanSays #Comedy #DiamondDean #FloridaMan #Zany #Suspense #Thrills #Laughs https://t.co/cHUINZaR07 😎🖖❤️

But I also believe I should have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame even though I've starred in a movie. At least not yet! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Parody #Believe #Einstein #ReadDiamondDeanBooks Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️

This is an interesting author. If you like reading, you can follow him.@DeanBurkey

He didn’t discover America. He discovered the McRib was back. And that Venti is just a fancy way to say large. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Happy #ColumbusDay #NewWorldDisorder #McDonalds #Starbucks Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: https://t.co/TA5unptV2r 😎🖖❤️