David Green
@DavidGreenComic
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More refreshing than a moist towelette...
Niagara Falls, Canada
Joined June 2013
When your stream interrupts and you miss the winning run after watching all 18 innings buffer free... #firstworleseriesproblems #worldseries
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FOREST CAPTAIN full episodes are now available online! 🌲 Thanks to the Niagara Falls Cultural Development Fund for helping bring it to life. 💯 We hope you enjoy watching it as much as we enjoyed making it! 😃 https://t.co/tFLcapFvN8
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These days kids learn about the birds and the bees from Twitter and Bumble...
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Slide into those direct messages! Seize the day! #CarpeDM
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Just signed up for 5am Baton classes. That's twirly in the morning...
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The movie Ghandi is about a man who goes on a hunger strike because everyone is angry and fighting. They should have called it The Fast and the Furious... #ghandiin60seconds
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My dog just contracted Covid-19. Of course, in dog years that's Covid-62...
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Old MacDonald had a farm! E-I-E-I-O! And on that farm he had crippling debt! EI-IOU!
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I imagine that flamenco dancers make good fishermen. They really know how to cast a net...
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The Habs are going to the Stanley Cup and my heart will go on!! #gohabsgo #MontrealCanadiens #CelineDion
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Ever see a British guy rap about the Habs?! https://t.co/uraScJZIRc
#nhlplayoffs #gohabsgo #MontrealCanadiens
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This morning my wife told me she was going to hop in the shower. That seems like a very dangerous place for such an activity…
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I’ve never tried MDMA, but I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews…
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We should all get extensions on our passports since we haven't been able to use 'em for the past 2 years.
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Chemistry. Let them develop it. Don't separate them at the first sign of grief. Let this 20 year old and 21 year old grow together. 4-3 Habs win.
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I wish you went bald all at once. Instead, it's like 'Here's 5-10 years of looking like a Russian gambling addict'
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