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Darth Meerkat Profile
Darth Meerkat

@DarthMeerkat

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Following
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Statuses
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Lord of useless trivia, cheese magnet, padawan twat, escalator stuntman, beer gardener and MILF.

Kingdom of Wessex
Joined May 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
11 years
And the winner of the 'Modest Job title' goes to this chap. http://t.co/0QJk9WAIiE
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
4 years
Has anyone lost a trampoline? #StormEunice
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
To help me decide whether to go to work or not today, I have completed my Risk Assessment.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
The exact moment he realised he was going to the vet.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
Remember a pub is for life not just for Christmas.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
He's set off early this year...
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
Where names come from...
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
Remembering my Great Grandfather, William Membury, 1st Battalion, Dorset Regiment. #RemembranceDay
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
This is what a Hungarian beer voucher looks like. A bargain!
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@almurray
Al Murray 🇺🇦
7 years
Those of you signing and RTing this I can’t thank you enough. The @bntva and @fleetstreetfox have campaigned long and hard for this, your help means veterans and their families know they’ve not been forgotten
Tweet card summary image
petition.parliament.uk
It is 60 years since Operation Grapple Y, when Britain exploded a 2.8 megaton bomb at Christmas Island in the South Pacific with the help of 22,000 servicemen. The British Nuclear Testing Programme...
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
A little known fact about Danny Welbeck... his Grandad was a bomb disposal expert called Stan. #ENGBEL
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
7 years
What an excellent day for a spot of beer gardening.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
Ideal weather for a spot of beer gardening.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
When you lie on your CV, but get the job anyway.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
Advisors are warning anyone travelling in icy weather should take a shovel, hi-vis jacket, blanket, petrol can & jump leads. Although I looked a right twat on the bus this morning.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
Good girls deserve Lurpak.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
TOP TIP. For an extra-long Christmas kiss, swap your girlfriend's Lipsyl for a Pritt stick.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
We were so poor in our house when we were young. On Christmas morning, if you didn’t wake up with a hard-on, you had nothing to play with.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
My mate is not having turkey this year, he’s having Babybels. I asked, “Why?” He said, “Because Christmas is all about the baby cheeses”.
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@DarthMeerkat
Darth Meerkat
8 years
Things that you can only say at Christmas time. “Smother the butter all over the breasts”
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