Daniel Carrillo
@DanielRCarrillo
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I'm at the zoo and I keep calling the snakes, "lizard noodles," and security is asking me to leave.
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Conservatives will call liberals “sheep” or “soft” and then take a Segway tour while wearing cargo shorts.
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This country fucking sucks so join me in celebrating this angel’s birthday instead.
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RT @NickoGallo: I keep thinking about how, with two months notice that this ruling was coming, the democratic-controlled congress not only….
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You will never be as cool as the guy that hits the back of the delivery truck twice to signal to the driver that the cargo is secure.
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Being lost in all this is how the fuck did Demi Moore not get that GI Jane 2 role?.
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Also fuck the legal system and fuck Kyle Rittenhouse.
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The Rittenhouse verdict get us one step closer to an actual Purge night.
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*hears a police siren*. *me peaking out of my blinds*. “Seems as if there’s a shorty fire burning on the dance floor.”.
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Are you the diaper I’m wearing right now? Because you are full of shit.
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RT @ACLU: BREAKING: Derek Chauvin has been convicted of the murder of George Floyd. For the first time in Minnesota state history, a white….
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Matt Gaetz looks EXACTLY like the guy who would do what Matt Gaetz is being accused of doing.
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Gave up on Godzilla V. Kong when I realized it wasn’t a landmark Supreme Court case.
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*sits down at a nice steakhouse*. Server: Can I start you off with something from our raw bar. Me: Yes. The shrimp cocktail. The shrimp cocktail:
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General Mills/CTC nosediving into a PR nightmare while all of Twitter piles on, gives me hope for brighter days.
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RT @acnewsitics: A white man walked into a grocery store in Boulder, killed 10 people, and was apprehended by the police and walked out of….
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