Charles Lindbergh Jr
@DaLindberghBaby
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I'm the enchanting wizard of rhythm.
Jersey City
Joined March 2010
Licked Nutella off of my own finger. Got turned on. Masturbated. No longer welcome at Kroger.
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The width of my squat stance while on the toilet naked is just off the fucking charts.
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I'll buttfuck your dad if you let me borrow your lawnmower.
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The "Harlem Shake" is what Michael J. Fox does at the Apollo Theater.
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The best part of waking up is waking up a white male in America, albeit one who was kidnapped and left for dead. Power hierarchy!
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This time last year, Aurora took the Colorado tragedy crown from those show-boatin' Columbine jerks.
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Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Dies From Sickle-Cell Anaemia
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Apparently Ivan Drago hacked my Twitter account. Hope everyone clicked all those links.
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I had an ex-girlfriend who said she had back problems due to her large chest. I'm blaming my hernia on a similar issue.
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I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to tell all the sluts around me to take their birth control #feminism
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Happy 11th 9/11 Anniversary, everyone. Tradition says that the 11th anniversary gift is steel. So that's ironic.
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It's already been 11 years since the first time I masturbated to "The Princess Diaries". That theater manager was so uptight.
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They're called "still-borns" because even though they're dead, they "still" get to be "born" #TheMoreYouKnow
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I can't believe it's already been 15 years since the first time I didn't care that Princess Diana died.
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Based on recent events, there is no reason the US should not take Gold in every Olympic Shooting category.
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Sikh Temples don't look anything like movie theaters, you idiot!
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School. Movie theatre. If someone commits a mass shooting in Colorado on a ski hill no one in that state will ever go outside again.
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Before Roe v. Wade, there were a lot of dangerous, back-alley Smurf abortions with paper clips.
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I may have been kidnapped, murdered, and left to rot in the woods...but at least I never ran into Jerry Sandusky.
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Before tablets, it wasn't as easy to identify the people I know with too much money.
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