DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER
@DENVERSWEATHER
Followers
11K
Following
4K
Media
175
Statuses
4K
The foulest weather report this side of shittucky. Chaotic Good. Blocked by 9News & Boulder's NWS (♡) cuz I'm dirty. #deathmetal ☠☠☠☠
COLORADO
Joined April 2013
DENVER, I'VE HAD TEN YEARS WITH YOU. INDULGE ME WHILE I RELIVE MY PERSONAL FAVORITE TWEETS.
8
3
141
DENVER, WE’VE GOT A STREAK OF 90s AHEAD AND YES THAT SUCKS BUT NO IT’S NOT GET-OUT-YOUR-GUN-AND-SHOOT-THE-SUN BAD, NO, IT’S CURSE GENTLY AT THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN BAD. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 94°.MON: 95°.TUE: 96°.WED: 86°.THU: 84°.FRI: 89°.
5
5
62
DENVER IT COULD BE HOTTER AND I COULD BE COMPLAINING MORE, OTOH IT COULD BE UNSEASONABLY COOL AND WE COULD BE FUCKING FROLICKING IN THE PARKS. ALAS, WE ARE HERE, SMACK DAB IN SUMMER’S SWEATY ARMPIT. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 87°, RAIN.SAT: 86°.SUN: 94°.
1
7
60
DENVER WE ARE FACE TO FACE WITH THE DEVIL THIS WEEK. GOOD OL’ 100-DEGREE DANNY… FUCK THAT GUY AND FUCK ANYONE WHO’S FRIENDS WITH HIM. WHAT AM I RALKUG SHOBLT… . YO FLAFNG WABTOY:.SUN: 91°.MON: 93°.TUE: 95°.WED: 100° AHHHHHBLZI HD EV.THU: 95°.FRI: 85°.
1
9
78
DENVER, I HAVE NOTHING BUT MEDIOCRE NEWS TO DELIVER: IT'S FUCKING JULY, IT'S FUCKING HOT, THE WORLD IS A FUCKING SHITSHOW BUT AT LEAST WE GET THE FUCKING DAY OFF. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 89°, STORMS.SAT: 89°.SUN: 90°.
4
11
163
DENVER, SUMMER IS BARRELING DOWN THE TRACKS LIKE MATT GAETZ HEADING TO… I DUNNO, WHERE DO TEENS HANG OUT THESE DAYS? I JUST WANTED A SUMMERTIME GAETZ JOKE BUT DIDN’T THINK IT THRU. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 85° STORMS.MON: 80°.TUE: 90°.WED: 94°.THU: 90°.FRI: 86° STORMS.
0
2
63
YOU DID IT. I DID IT. WE DID IT: THE WORK WEEK, AT LAST, IS MOTHERFUCKING FINISHED. IT DEAD. DED. FUCK YES WEEKEND, FUCK OFF WORK, ALL THE MANAGERS OUT THERE CAN GO MUNCH A COBWEBBY CUNT, BECAUSE. IT.IS.FIVE P.M. BITCHEZZZZZZZZZZZ.
6
5
87
DENVER YES IT'S SUMMER BUT NO I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. I HAVE A PROPOSITION: SOMEBODY GIVE THE WEATHER GODS A HANDY AND A SPLIFF AND GET US SOME 70 DEGREE DAYS BACK IN THE FORECAST PLS. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 92°/66°.SAT: 94°/73°.SUN: 88°/73°.
3
8
76
DENVER THERE IS RELIEF IN SIGHT, BEFORE IT RECEDES OUT OF SIGHT IN TIME FOR ANOTHER TOASTY WEEKEND. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 94°.MON: 76°.TUE: 79° STORMS.WED: 80° STORMS.THU: 88°.FRI: 92°.
9
12
109
80 degrees at 9 in the morning is just wrong. 100 degrees at any point in the day is an affront to humanity. Fuck all of this, fuck it repeatedly.
16
29
394
DENVER, TUESDAY IS THE ONLY GOOD DAY, I LOVE TUESDAY, TUESDAY IS THE BEST, THE REST OF THIS WEEK CAN SUCK A STICKY COCK, FUCK OFF REST OF THE WEEK AND FUCK U FRIDAY IN PARTICULAR. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 94°.MON: 95°.TUE: 74°.WED: 86°.THU: 98° FREAKING YIKES.FRI: 101° WTF.
7
11
163
THE SUN CAN MOTHERFUCKING FRY US *BUT* WE CAN MOTHERFUCKIN DANCE.
1
0
15
DENVER, SUMMER IS FUCKING HERE AND WE ARE POWERLESS, WE ARE POWERLESS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT ***EXCEPT*** GET THOSE SWIMSUITS ON GET THAT SPLIFF ROLLED AND GET THAT MOTHERFUCKING POOLPARTY MOTHERFUCKING STARTED. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 89°.SAT: 93°.SUN: 94°.
7
12
152
DENVER, TECHNICALLY IT'S STILL SPRING BUT DAMMIT, SPRING IS DEAD. GONE. KAPUT. REST IN PEACE YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 73° GONNA MISS TEMPERATURES LIKE THIS.MON: 81°.TUE: 87° NO.WED: 86° NOOO.THU: 86° NOOOO00.FRI: 87° NOOOOOOOOO.
3
7
159
DENVER, SORRY I MISSED ALL THAT RAIN THAT WE GOT THIS WEEK, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN I PROMISE. THE GOOD NEWS: TODAY'S THE LAST DAY OF RAIN. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 65° STORMS.SAT: 83°.SUN: 74° FUCKING PERFECT.
0
7
70
IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT I MISSED MENTIONING THE THUNDEROUS SPLOOGE-FEST THAT WILL POUR RAIN AND LIGHTNING DOWN ON THE CITY MONDAY.
1
3
43
DENVER I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE… BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT. GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS WEATHER. SHOOT THIS SHIT RIGHT INTO MY VEINS. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 87°.MON: 85°.TUE: 58°.WED: 67° FUCK YES.THU: 68° FUCKING FUCK YES.FRI: 75° DON’T STOP.
6
8
137
DENVER IT IS GETTING A LIL SPICY UP IN HERE UP IN HERE, I KNOW THE WORST IS TO COME BUT DAMMIT IM GONNA MISS SPRING WHEN ITS GONE. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:.FRI: 82°.SAT: 80°.SUN: 88° YIKES.
3
6
64
DENVER THE WEATHER GODS ARE OBVIOUSLY SOBER AS SHIT AND HORNY AS HELL BECAUSE THIS WEATHER SUCKS LIMP DICK. SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING I'M BEGGING YOU. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:.SUN: 59° P.M. THUNDERSTORMS.MON: 61° SAME.TUE: 72°.WED: 63° P.M. THUNDERSTORMS.THU: 66° SAME.FRI: 77° SAME.
3
3
48
FUCKING FORGOT IT WAS A THREE DAY WEEKEND JFC WIMH. YOUR FUCKING MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND WEATHER:.FRIDAY: BEAUTIFUL.SATURDAY: SHITTY, RAIN.SUNDAY: SHITTY, MORE RAIN.MONDAY: STILL SHITTY, STILL RAINING.
5
6
121