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Constable Chaos Profile
Constable Chaos

@ConstableChaos

Followers
25,701
Following
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Statuses
33,735

The artist formerly known as Chaos ... Retired and living the dream in The Lakes eeeek 😱😱 ... Will continue to fight the thin blue lines corner 👍

Chaostown, Cumbria / The Lakes
Joined February 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
It's a fair point ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Ohhh this is going to be a fun conversation with the garage tomorrow ... Went to pick my van up - dashcam had 'fallen off' but was still recording inside cab area .. aside from the 90 min journey the van went on, it seems their guy didn't want to use the hands free mount either
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
Big thank you to @SkyNews for showing beyond any reasonable doubt that there was no police pursuit and that officers weren't following them when they crashed ... Job sorted for you @policeconduct 👍👍
@SkyNews
Sky News
1 year
CCTV shows seconds before the road crash that killed two teenage boys in Cardiff. Kyrees Sullivan, 16, and 15-year-old Harvey Evans were riding an electric bike when the collision occurred. Read more 👉
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 months
Got told off by lady in @Tesco today for not checking items for security tags when using the self serve ... 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ I'm scanning, bagging and now doing security, all for free .. maybe I need to start stacking the shelves as well 😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 years
Before you mock kids who still believe in Santa... Remember there are still adults who believe everything they read on Twitter and Facebook! 😂🤣😂🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Even after dealing with an active terrorist who had killed 2 people & was wearing a suicide vest .. the police still have to put up with the pathetic anti-cop narrative of our mainstream media ... FIRING SQUAD !!!??? @itvnews care to explain yourselves ?? 🤬🤬🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
Okay everyone, panic over ... The snowplough has arrived ... 😂😂😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
A team of @WMerciaPolice officers ran a 10K race in PSU kit this morning to raise money for charity in memory of a dog handlers wife who recently died of cancer 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
1. Walk spaniel 2. Hear splash 3. Wait to see how bad it is .. 🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
I'm seeing lots and lots and lots of cakes on the horizon ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
WTAF ... @policeconduct are now going to be investigating one of the police officers attending the major incident in Nottingham because the guy in the van ran two people over (and the cop stopped to give first aid !!) 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Haven't been on a bus for a long time, but when I have, on occasion I've been asked to show my ticket On trains, almost every journey I've been asked to show my ticket. You know what .. I've shown my ticket .. without any fuss or drama. The end 🤷‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Genius level .. 😂😂😂
@PolitlcsUK
Politics UK
10 months
🚨 | BREAKING: Just Stop Oil protestors have been surrounded by “Just Stop Pissing Everyone Off” protestors - preventing them from marching in the road
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
I don't know what hotel in London this is ... But it's marketing genius 👍
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
7 months
"Boy with water pistol confronted by armed police" I'd just like to point out that all these pictures are of REAL guns made to look like kids toys .. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 months
Why on earth are people blaming the airlines and travel companies for a decision made by the EU ?? It's your own responsibility to check, and double check, all your travel documents are in order.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Dear @BBCNews you utter buffoons ... You do NOT 'shoot' someone with a Taser 😡😡 He did NOT 'fall' .. the widely available footage is very clear - he was Tasered, he got up, he ran, he jumped off the bridge
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
And that ... As they say ... Is that ... Booking 1-1 ... Take care folks 👍👍
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
And that, as they say, is one way to do it ..
@TradBritGroup
TraditionalBritain
2 years
Sorry, that doesn't work. French police swiftly remove Green activists who had glued themselves to the pavement in Paris 😆
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
There now follows an important Public Service Message ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Is it going to be cakes all round, or given that it's Trumpton, should it be full three course meals for everyone 🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Just Stop P****** Everyone Off group gatecrashes Just Stop Oil party, releasing balloons with activated rape alarms attached .. Sorry but it's just funny .. 😂😂😂
@joshua_pieters
Josh Pieters
10 months
BREAKING: WE'VE SPENT THE LAST FEW DAYS UNDERCOVER WITH JUST STOP OIL. TODAY THEY HELD A PARTY TO 'CELEBRATE' THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS, AND WE WERE THERE, GIVING THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. FULL VIDEO TONIGHT.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Can you imagine the outcry if we did this over here ...
@Le_Bux
Martin Buxant
3 years
Autopompes en action au Bois de La cambre.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Next time you hear someone slagging teachers off, feel free to point out they are amongst the few who genuinely try to leave a positive impression on peoples lives 👍👍
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Dear person in Kendal currently whining about some pesky paramedics parking their ambulance on a bus stop in town .. for your info, those flashy lights on top are the "shut your ******* gob" ones
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
**** Update 23/06 **** Police have been, statement taken, memory card seized (ok I wrote the statement and exhibited the memory card before they even arrived, only trying to help lol 😁😁) ... Over to them now 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Ohhh this is going to be a fun conversation with the garage tomorrow ... Went to pick my van up - dashcam had 'fallen off' but was still recording inside cab area .. aside from the 90 min journey the van went on, it seems their guy didn't want to use the hands free mount either
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
Interesting point from today's Ambulance strike ... NHS Trusts are saying they are not seeing an increase in people taking themselves to A&E ... Does that mean many of those calling ambulances normally didn't actually need one nor did they need to go to hospital ??
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
I've seen a lot of fuel related memes the last few days, but none as good as this one 🤣🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Broken nose, broken septum, deep laceration & tear to left side of nose & nostril, significant swelling & bruising. Emergency surgery to fix nose, 6 internal, 11 external stitches. Off work for 3 months. Awaiting further surgery. Sentence: 12 month community order & £600 compo
@leicspolice
Leicestershire Police
3 years
Yesterday (Monday) at Leicester Magistrates’ Court , a 16-year-old boy, of Swadlincote, who can’t be named for legal reasons, was sentenced having pleaded guilty at an earlier hearing to Grievous Bodily Harm of a person namely a police constable.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
I wish to report that a henious crime has befallen the Chaos household ... Please send thoughts and prayers ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
8 months
Here's the thing .. I got charged £9 to drive a 2010 VW camper through Bradford yesterday .. CO2 211g/km - NOx 0.336 g/km If I'd driven a 2010 diesel V8 Range Rover instead .. CO2 294 g/km - NOx -.355 g/km The cost would have been £0 ! But it's all about cleaner air isn't it
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 years
When I stop laughing I might think of an appropriate response ... Mum blames police after youth falls off stolen bike trying to escape
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
Cops stopped for coffee in McDonald’s - but we don't care and neither should you
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
This is probably the most powerful thing I've seen in a long time ..
@business
Bloomberg
5 years
Jon Stewart to Congress on the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund: "Behind me [is] a filled room of 9/11 first responders and in front of me a nearly empty Congress. Sick and dying, they brought themselves down here to speak to no one. Shameful." @TicToc
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Just a timely reminder that TEN YEARS AGO, your local, experienced and knowledgeable police officers tried to warn Government of the dangers of sweeping cuts to budgets, dogs, horses, helicopters and staff numbers .. #NotCryingWolf #CutsDidHaveConsequences
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 months
Spanish Defence Ministry demands €95,000 for scrambling 2 fighter jets to escort Easyjet plane after passenger sends text to mates saying he's 'on way to blow plane up' & says he's 'member of Taliban' Good for them - I hope he has to pay !
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
There's a lot of rubbish going on at the moment, but here's a thread you need to read that reminds us all what's really important. Well done Jacob 👍👍
@JamesFlibble
james flibble
5 years
I'm ridiculously proud of both of my children, but my 18 year old son was presented with this at his Saturday job yesterday and I might be a little choked up.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
I've an 'outside the box' idea ... If you don't want to risk being disturbed by a church bell that rings at night, don't move to a house near a church with a bell that rings at night .. 🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
Ha ha this is so true 😂😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 years
Get a puppy they said ... It'll be fun they said ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Me earlier today ... "I'm going shopping" MrsC: "Take my car, it hasn't moved for a week, give yours a rest" Me: "Ohh okay", (mentally prepares to drive her Mini Cooper like the go-kart it is .. 😁👍) Get in and find the real reason ... 😱😱🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
As seen in many towns currently ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Although I'm off duty apparently police (well me) are useless because I won't deal with hearse on double yellow lines outside church waiting for coffin to be brought out 😱 Even if I were on duty, and CPE aside, it still wouldn't be happening !
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
Sat babysitting a badly flooded road this morning waiting for highways to turn up, amusing myself watching all the owners of shiny 'never been further than a supermarket kerb' 4x4's panicking about whether they would make it through alive .. 😂🤣😂🤣😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
30-year-old man who kicked girlfriend in head before pinning police officer against wall during arrest given conditional discharge The man, who had 7 previous convictions, was still on licence for aggravated burglary offence 🤬🤬🤬🤬 #JusticeNotServed
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Person phones GP surgery GP surgery tells them to phone 111 111 sends ambulance Paramedics say nothing much they can do and call patients GP surgery for them GP surgery says call 111 Repeat infinitum Sound familiar ?? 🤬🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
This is called 'the coppers nose' .. you won't find it by reading any text book though. Well done Liam 👏👏👏👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
@2310_mo
Mo Rashad 2310
5 years
Yesterday at the start of our shift, Liam saw a car which was parked with a female sat at the side. Liam made a judgment call despite being required elsewhere to go and speak to her to check on her welfare. She was in the middle of a suicide note. Another life saved. Well done 👍
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
#GarageGate Update .... The dealer I took van to.for warranty work is actually a caravan centre - they outsourced the work to local garage 15 mins away !! as they aren't equipped for vehicle mechanical issues. They seemed genuinely shocked and happy to cooperate with police ...
@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Ohhh this is going to be a fun conversation with the garage tomorrow ... Went to pick my van up - dashcam had 'fallen off' but was still recording inside cab area .. aside from the 90 min journey the van went on, it seems their guy didn't want to use the hands free mount either
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Caption this .... 🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 months
Now there's a shocker.. Invest in neighbourhood/local police teams, ring fence them from being dragged from pillar to post, let them work with communities and surprise .. crime and ASB goes down .. If only someone had thought of it before ..
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Someone needs to learn a bit about pond care and maintenance me thinks .. Maybe take the 5yr old grandson with her to an aquatics centre so there is an intelligent person for the staff to give advice to .. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
If he's as good as his word, looks like the 'partner agencies' in London had better wake themselves up ! And hopefully, this idea will spread far and wide
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
7 months
Dear @DailyMirror Trying to create sympathy for a multiple rapist is really not a good stance to take ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
You've seen the #KnifeAngel , now meet the #ManchesterBee , made by the same @BritishIronwork out of guns seized by @gmpolice 😱😱
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
At last, someone has shown true economic excellence ... Whoever wrote this should be Chancellor immediately!!
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 months
Apples rarely fall far from the tree so they .. Son of gangster Mark Duggan, whose fatal shooting sparked the 2011 London Riots, arrested at airport over firearms charges ..
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
No, climbing on war memorials is not currently a specific crime, but I like to think I'd be considering disorderly behaviour (S5, POA), attempt to cause crim dam or causing public nuisance If, after a 3 hour wait to book in, the Custody Sgt decided not enough grounds then 🤷‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
They've done it again ...!!! Prices at D A Roberts in Whitchurch, Shropshire today (21/07/22) How do you local filling stations compare ??
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Juuuust .. gonna leave this here ... 'High profile' solicitor struck off for dishonesty ... 'All 12 allegations against her were found to be proven' by the Solicitors Disciplinary Tribunal ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Dear @BBCNews As you're clearly unable to carry out basic journalistic tasks, let me help .. 10 years + of cuts Over 40K officers & staff + experience gone Awful standard of current training Police carrying every other public service Shall I continue ?
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 months
Is this a sign of things to come for us all ..? #MrsC has a friend coming to visit soon .. first question they ask .. "have you got an electric car charge point I can use ?" .. Never had anyone ask of I had a petrol pump in the back garden.. 😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
“The carrying of knives in any circumstances cannot be tolerated. I will not tolerate it on the streets of Cumbria,” Judge Davies says as he jails man for 8 months for carrying a knife in public
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
Don't know who yet .. but it's gonna have to be done 😂😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
This would be scary if it wasn't so serious .. Former HMIC head who is how head of MH trust warns "there is simply no other agency to call other than police for people in crisis" .. what a damning indictment of deliberately underfunded MH services
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Yeah .. but is it ??
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
Any advance on 'CID morning briefing' anyone ?? .. 😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
@RebelsAnimal @waitrose Don't know how to break it to these uneducated buffoons, but milk is a plant based product - it primarily derives from grass 😁
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 months
Well I just hope the relevant police force deals with this for what it is ... Enough in that clip alone to get someone a driving ban .. and clearly they deserve one #ItsAPrivilegeNotARight
@spcspecial
@SPCspecial
5 months
What A Bell End!!
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 years
Said it before, will say it again, the general sale of fireworks should be banned ... Organised displays only !
@CrimeLdn
London & UK Street News
4 years
Scene in Holloway (Islington) tonight
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Excellent work by upstanding members of the public 👍👍 As an aside, look how many of them it takes to control a mildly non compliant person .. yet the ususal suspects have a melt down if two police officers dare deal with a rabidly violent individual 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
@Elisa4Freedom
Elisa 🇬🇧
2 years
Londoners sick of the rampant crime, take matters into their own hands, tackling and subduing a phone thief
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Is now a good time to point out a fair number of serving police officers, myself included, have at one time been prescribed antidepressants as a direct result of the toll the job takes on you ... ☹️🤬 Woman denied Police job over antidepressant policy
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
10 months
Magistrates PRAISE drink driver who ran past marked cop car without asking for help and later told police they were going to take an injured friend (who was nowhere to be seen) to hospital before going 'no comment' .. No ban and absolute discharge .. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
@keenyn7
@N7
10 months
Another incompetent clown who needs removing from the bench.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Here's the thing .. We don't actually need more police officers In fact, we could probably cope with fewer .. If .. Councils and Mental Health services functioned properly, demand on police would drop by at least half, some say significantly more .. Go figure ..
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Point of reference to shop staff and public: "A person may use such force as is reasonable in the circumstances in the prevention of crime, or in effecting or assisting in the lawful arrest of offenders or suspected offenders or of persons unlawfully at large." S3, CLA 1967
@AnimalRising
Animal Rising
2 years
Milk Pours are currently happening across the UK. All are concerned individuals calling on the government to give us a livable future, a #PlantBasedFuture Here's the latest milk pour happening in Edinburgh @waitrose
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Sir Mark Rowley: "for every mental health patient given police help, two officers spend an average of 14 hours in total waiting with them in hospital. The number of people being sectioned by police under the MHA has more than quadrupled since 2013"
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
11 months
@CrimeGirI In just one three minute clip not only do you get the mobile phone and seat belt offence, but also a potential careless (steering with the wrist holding the phone while other hand is by his side, plus even a littering (chucks rubbish out of window) .. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
Number of police plummets as officers quit and forces miss recruitment targets. Almost 2,500 officers have resigned since April 2018 (in addition to those retiring) and more than half of forces are struggling to fill gaps.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
1 year
Someone please tell me this is a joke post ... Please ... Surely ?? ... 😱😱
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
😂😂
@CourtNewsUK
CourtNewsUK
6 months
TikTok practical joker Mizzy boasted the law was ‘weak’ as he ignored a criminal behaviour order to continue his career as a prankster. But he failed to see the funny side this afternoon as he was locked up for 18 weeks...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Seems to be quite a news day today ... I'd hate for this one to get lost in the mud-pile of everything else that's happening ...
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
Police officer ‘knocked out cold’ by punch ... Result at court ? .. £165 fine 😡😡😡😡😡 @PFEW_Chair @PFEW_HQ @PFEW_Che #ProtectTheProtectors
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
Ten years ago today, thousands of police officers, staff and supporters marched through London to say #EnoughisEnough .. #CutsHaveConsequences We were accused of crying wolf .. turns out we were spot on the money 🤬🤬🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
I'm given it on high authority that this is the most accurate piece of reporting you will find on the internettywebbyworld today 🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
10 yrs ago there would have been a major scrum at a Duties Office door at the mere whiff of O/T on offer 5 yrs ago, a circular email would have filled a good % of the opportunities Now, for most, it's the delete key and withheld numbers unanswered
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
In a town called Market Drayton in Shropshire, there is an independent fuel retailer who appears to have a 'different' approach to fuel pricing to the main chains .... This is today's (07/07/22) prices .... Anywhere else this lucky ??
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
Well ... In good news a parcel has actually arrived via @Hermesparcels ... Not entirely sure they have grasped the concept of what 'FRAGILE' tape is telling them though 🤬🤬🤬🤬
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 years
🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
2 years
🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
😂😂
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
3 months
Person in crisis on a bridge .. emergency services do their thing to bring situation to a safe resolution for all. Politician sees an opportunity for a bit of self promotion It backfires quickly (read the comments) Sick !
@theresecoffey
Thérèse Coffey
3 months
I've asked Suffolk PCC Tim Passmore to investigate the closure of Orwell Bridge today and the protocol in place for such closures. While this is an operational decision by the police, it hugely impacts residents and businesses in our county, which I think merits inspection.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
5 years
"How come in the last century we used to be able to fly from London to New York in just over 3 hours and now it takes 7 and a half ... that's not progress is it ?" #Concorde
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
4 years
NEWSFLASH ... For the avoidance of doubt, Emergency Services will park vehicles WHERE THEY NEED TO when dealing with emergency calls. THE END.
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@ConstableChaos
Constable Chaos
6 months
"I can think of no other country where an officer rushing to the scene of a terrorist attack who makes a mistake would be hounded & prosecuted over four years .." @policeconduct really have to go - no one has faith in them; not officers on the ground, not bosses, not the public
@Fraser_Knight
Fraser Knight
6 months
“Thank God for the common sense of British juries” Met boss Sir Mark Rowley goes in hard against @policeconduct for their ‘pursuit of good officers’ after acquittal of PC Paul Fisher - cleared of dangerous driving after crashing on response to the Streatham terror attack @LBC
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