Cornelius
@ComedianConn
Followers
5,507
Following
100
Media
988
Statuses
12,074
Middle aged comic with a penchant for French sounding words. like podcasts? Try mine on for size. link below.
Cork
Joined September 2010
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Pinned Tweet
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All Ill say is this twenty six years ago myself and Patrick Murphy sat down to do our leaving Certs. He studied his hole off. I wrote poetry to the love of my life Susan Dwyer. Today we are all on the PUP.
Susan if you're out there get in touch x.
#believe
#LeavingCert2021
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@chelseathepope
I remember one time I was sun bathing and he stopped and asked if he could have a sup of my lucozade. Of course I said yes and watched as he slurped deeply in the midnight sun. He then asked for a cigarette... you know what Im starting to think it wasn't Colin Farrell at all...
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106k 🤯🤯🤯
Thank you so much players!
Much love 💚
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Hello
@buff_egan
you're a bloody legend. A Kerryman with hurling knowledge that would shame most Corkmen. Fair play. C'mere to me Buff would there be any chance you'd be a guest on my podcast? Id hop into the car and drive down to you. I think we'd have a mighty chat. 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
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Incredibly accurate. Painfully funny. Terribly tragic.
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Pre season training interview...
#GAA
#Hurling
#Football
(Longer version over at my instagram
@corneliusthecomic
)
Shot and edited by
@theonlyfunnydan
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GAA Chairman unofficially resigns before the AGM.
#GAA
#gaelicgames
#Cork
#irish
#Comedy
#irishculture
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I think Stephen Kenny should have his contact extended by 800 years.
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First time at a Inter county game for my boys and the Cork footballers didn't disappoint as they granted us a narrow win. We are still there lads. Its nice to be playing ball in the summer.
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County Final half time.... " Do ye want it"????
#irish
#gaa
Full video over on my Instagram
@corneliusthecomic
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The footballers today worked their holes off. The dedication to the cause was so beautiful to see. Head, knees, or dick whatever it took to win the ball . They have had to listen to so much vitriolic abuse down through the years. It was great to see them triumph today.
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@realDonaldTrump
You should build a wall around your mouth. If that works then we can have s look at Mexico.
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Hello everyone, I have a small bit of news on this bright September morning. I am delighted to announce that my new stand up show 'A bird in the hand' is debuting this coming January in the historic and gorgeous
@theeverymancork
.
Retweets most welcome.
All the love 💚
Cornelius
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Dear
@Facebook
would you kindly reinstate
@SirStevoTimothy
on your platform. The man has worked so hard and is a satirist not a hate speech advocate. Comedy comes in many forms and his has always made people laugh. X
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Can't really blame him for checking out Cians savage gulets but whats really annoying is how he got a ticket. The cunt hasn't darkened a turnstile all year.
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If it was not for those brave men & women 100 years ago we would be all speaking English and watching the premiership
#EasterRising
#freedom
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20 thousand views lads 🤯... If I didn't have a junior B challenge game to be going to I'd bloody well french kiss you!
#Thankyou
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Heading to Thurles today. I expect nothing less than fire and brimstone. One team fighting for pride and the other fighting in hope. Ash banging. Cigarette smoke lingering. Old men and women. Young boys and girls. Pints. Sandwiches. Laughter. Craic. Red Blue white gold.
#GAA
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Anything sweeter sound than a sliothar being cut just right? The connection. The elevation. The deep inhalation of anticipation.
Blinking as she speeds through the skies. Lost are your woes in that moment of time.
#hurling
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All packed and ready to go to Dublin like a lad going into 1st year. Tonight I’m opening for my good friend and brilliant comedian
@chriskentcomic
in
@vicar_st
of all places and it’s Sold Out. Happy. Thank You. More Please.
#irishcomedian
#corneliuspatrickosullivan
#comedy
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I know the squad has been announced and Ive officially retired but if the right questions were asked and if I'm given all the frees from the 30 in not to mention intercounty mileage...lets just say... maybe I could have a change of heart.
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Its been a long ass 18 months but the gigs are back baby and I for one am delighted.
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What a dope this lad is.
No one is thinking of the Kilmacud players. The hatred of the Shane Walsh transfer is fuelling the mob.
The heartbreak of last year, the dignity they showed in defeat, celebrated the win for 3 days only for Glen to object on Tuesday night at 11pm.
What a mess by the GAA & Glen
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I've heard they make inmates in Guantanamo bay watch the
#raydarcyshow
as a form of torture. They're trying to ban it now. It's too cruel.
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Hello, I have a YouTube channel. Mostly sketches on GAA culture . I currently have 7 subscribers. Yes 7. Pathetic. Any chance you'd subscribe for the craic?
Here is a sketch I wrote five years ago that has 38 views.... Its called 'The Subs'...
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Theresa Mannion has just been spotted in a south Kerry village roaring out at the Atlantic Ocean saying... "Come on ya cunt"
#StormFrank
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The irony is what I find most fascinating. One of the most persecuted races of all time now themselves engaged in genocidal persecution only this time perpetrating it. Ugly bloody irony.
#FreePalestine
#FromTheRiverToTheSea
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@IrlagainstFash
@TadhgHickey
This is incredible comedy. The doorbell ringing was genius & the small little grey beard was a perfect subtle touch. If I had to be critical & I'm struggling to find a flaw it would the whole thing is not funny & in fact droll and a waste of my time. but that's just nit picking.
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If this gets retweeted by the modern day Queen Méabh (
@MaryLouMcDonald
) Ill spontaneously explode with joy.
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My son has started formal education and here is a photo to kind of prove it.
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Former Ireland International Kevin Doyle was at the
@chriskentcomic
sold out show in Wexford last night where I was doing support.
There hasn't been a better front three since Kitson Hunt and
@KevinDoyle1983
back in the Reading days....
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Christmas Eve
Visit the grave ✔
Super value for milk and a few "bits" herself forgot yesterday✔
Come out with a box of beer, batteries, a ham, antigen test x 10, custard and a small plum pudding✔
Get home ✔
Send back to town for forgotten milk and a few more bits ✔
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If you look carefully youll see that I was the one putting my body on the line in this masterpiece by
@TadhgHickey
&
@dominic_machale
.
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@TadhgHickey
Im not much of an accountant but if the gig is still going and some of that finger food is vegetarian Id be interested... DM's open.
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@NeilRedFM
Silly question! Its ridiculous that a drug proven to kill you ( alcohol) can be bought in whatever quantities one chooses but if you want to purchase few grams of marijuana for your mental health you must pay a drug dealer an extortionate amount under the grim lights of an aldi
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I met Peter Canavan last night after a gig in Omagh. We had a great two minute chat as I was buying two pints of porter in his pub. I’m 47 with the best years behind me in footballing terms but he still tried hard to get me to transfer. I skulled my pint and left.
#Rebeltillidie
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