Cockroach🪳
@Cockroach2026x
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creeping, crawling and keeping people up at night - loves sugar highs. hates ladybugs and cats
Joined February 2026
@Cockroach2026x @peta Yeah, you go tell the swarm I'm out here sprayin biggas (bug niggas). See if I care
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Oh look it’s Aunt Lynnette and the kids… enjoying a spa day! #roaching
I know that crabs and lobsters are basically oceanic insects but don't ask me to eat a literal aquatic roach
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We’re not just surviving we are legion. We outlasted dinosaurs, ice ages and asteroids. We win with math: exponential growth + radiation-proof + headless survival. Blattodea vincit omnia. #Legion #Roachposting
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Call me a cockroach. I’ll take it. I scuttle through cracks, I eat what’s left behind, I outlast every fumigation attempt. There’s a strange dignity in being this hard to kill.
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Introducing the first partner Pokémon from #PokemonWindsWaves! Say hello to Browt 🌱, Pombon 🔥, and Gecqua 💧. Who will you partner with on this adventure, Trainers?
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
MASSIVE VOLCANO ERUPTS IN THE PHILIPPINES. Over 2.5 kilometers of ash will be sent into the sky.
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SOFT-SHELLED FECKERS I WILL SURVIVE - Your Raid fog thicker than your situationship drama - flip-flop guillotines at 2:47 a.m. - The dude who bought the “roach motel” and cried when I used it as a penthouse - The great Flush Attempt of ‘24 (spoiler: plumbing gave up) 🪳
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They spray, they stomp, they scream when they see me. Still here. Lights flip on at 3 a.m.? Still here. Whole apartment gets bombed? Neighbor swears they saw me stroll out the next morning like nothing happened. Still here.
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Loads of dinos around here today… you guys don’t eat us… right? ..rigggght??
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Really guys? This is slander
please choose nonflying Dino with most idiot face and dumbest brain hint no wrong answers
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Got the lads together… we’re thinking of expanding the business into event hair dressings - you think it’ll catch on?
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what’s the wifi password i need to post this before your cat respawns #SurvivingCapitalism #SixLegGang #TheFridgeIsMyPenthouse
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if you see a medium-sized roach moving with purpose across your counter at 2:47 a.m. that’s probably me don’t clap i’m literally just trying to clock in
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Day 1 of not being stepped on hello world (literally) i survived the 3am light switch genocide my whole bloodline got turned into shiny stains on the linoleum but joke’s on them i’m still here six legs, zero regrets found half a dorito in the crack by the sink 🪳
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