Favourite kind of sex

Favourite kind of sex

Hard to admit this but I carry the HERPES virus down below. I hardly ever have outbreaks, it doesn’t affect my life in anyway anymore and I’ve never knowingly passed it on. I always disclose to partners and practise safe sex #herpes #hsv2

I’ve just had a delivery of wet toilet tissue for a new project I’m working on, basically @CamdenBrewery have asked me to produce seven types of pencil sharpener to commemorate the history of people with the name Nigel. #oestrogen #mashtun

Bucket List no 7 achieved today! A Cheese and condensed milk ciabatta with airport relish, eaten within 18 yards of a highly dubious book shop. Completed it mate 🙌 #Wealdstone

PEOPLE OF BROMSGROVE BEWARE ⚠️⚠️☢️☢️‼️‼️☢️☢️ A Stallingrad style dictator walks among you tonight, with hands of cloth and spider like ear lobes. Stay indoors unless you need emergency bog roll from Londis #bromsgrove

I saw Shane Meadows at a Wild Bean in Gloucestershire yesterday

Tommy Robinson is a cunt….also I’d like a Cadbury’s cream egg this Thursday #parsonsgreen

Remarkably there are two shops in Calne specialising in just brown parcel tape and purple glitter pens. Funny old world

Been a bad day, Stuart (my oven mitt) and I have clashed in what’s proved to be a war of ideology over the important matter of pickled walnuts in the greenhouse. In a blizzard twist @AntheaTurner1 showed up needing a massive All-Bran based shit and pebble-dashed the pan #Ripley

#locationlocationlocation One of these couples will divorce in 9 years….especially when they realise they don’t allow any sausage pie in Loughton #loughton

Elon Musk is a cunt #PAKvENG

In a humdrum Midlands town in the 90s, Carol had a steak bake and French fancy from the local Poppins restaurant and then proceeded to college, she was lonely and 62% attractive to Niall #PAKvENG

Hard to believe this is my ex wife Miriam @ourrachblogs #calne

#StrictlyComeDancing Sam Queks husband is jealous…I can tell #crustybread #parsnip

I used to work with Ali McCoist’s brother Colin McCoist in the climax factory over at Oban. One time he had a deep fried pork pie sandwich with lettuce. #championsleaguefinal

Californian sea eagles are among us tonight, beware the ultimate sandwich maker will work out your sons partitioning with a collapsed lung sauce #AFLSwansBlues

Uncle Davids garden lawn mowers are the third best in Tewksbury #AsLaz

Colin’s Sandwich #AndhraPradeshElection2024

Handmade clandestine dentists are among us tonight, beware those in Andover especially #AFCON