Purplethelamb🌍
@Cheeboozorrhh
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Cogito, ergo sum | Lawyer | management: @dynastyafrica_ | The Cavemen
Abuja/Lagos
Joined October 2020
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Pinned Tweet
Featuring my twin sister.
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She attended Madonna University, if only y’all know how much the school fees is, she won’t be lying to us like we’re wearing pampers.
"I was homeless at some point" – Hilda Baci reflects on past struggles
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Started it with God. We’re not mates.
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Everybody Hates Wole.
Picture Of Prof Wole Soyinka on his matriculation at the University College, Ibadan in the 50's.
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You fit dey fight for your life, make your guys dey use am catch cruise. After I was released by kidnappers in 2019, for the next one year, my guys were always calling me “kidnapee”.😭😭
Bro almost lost his life and his niggas are making a joke out of the incident😭. Guys are too funny😂
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“I’ve knacked that babe before”, more wins my boss, you fit add am to your CV.
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Sold her car and her golds to make sure my school fees were met, never gave up on me despite my really slow start. This one is for my mum.❤️
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The kind of Post-AFCON clarity that’ll hit us after this AFCON will be so crazy.😭
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Now I don’t blame Avatar Aang for hiding for 100 years. This life no easy dawg.
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Tems, Ayra Starr and Tiwa Savage gave us some of the best songs this year and yet non of them is married.
Just hits, no Mrs.
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Currently at my peak, no one can bring Milo.
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This is my last year of being broke, this one no be meme.
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This will be my last Christmas in the trenches, Amen.
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Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the furnace.
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Nigerian babes and the urge to make their native names sound tush. Like chill out Naya, your parents named you Ifunayachukwu for a reason.
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Got kidnapped in 2017, I was on my way to school to resume as a 200l student, and I was in my first relationship. Throughout my days in captivity, instead of praying for my life, most of what I was thinking about was how I hadn’t had sex with my babe and I was about to die.
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Some okada riders for this Nigeria dey make Ghost rider look like learner tbh.
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I’ll never understand how party jollof rice all have the same taste.
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I’m an ashawo when it comes to music, I fw any genre as far as it’s good music.
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Blaqbonez is the type of student that'll read heaven and earth for exam, but will tell his guys that he hasn't even opened his book.😂
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After I complained to her about how she was treating me and she replied, “next time don’t date someone you love, date someone that loves you”.
What point in your life did you say “no more Relationship”?
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The streets will never forget how the police never arrested Oxlade after he went to a studio and made away with some instruments.
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Pablo Escobar watching Hushpuppi commit fraud from prison:
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Nigerian moms will make you wear what they want and assure you that you look very good, only for you to step out looking like Josh2funny.😭😂
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I had really bulgy eyes in secondary, so anytime my computer teacher sees me, she’ll always sing “Okpolo eyes”, and will always force me to reply with “e no be open eyes”.
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I went to law school with two phones, cus it lessened my work load. In February of last year, about three weeks after I resumed, I stepped out one faithful night to get food before heading back upstairs to meet up with our Property Law online quiz that was scheduled for 8pm, and…
I have a story to share with you guys. It might not concern y’all, but it really means a lot to me.
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A lot of ladies should be like Stefflon Don, sub someone with your full chest instead of using your Burna.
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I watched this substance ruin my guy’s life back in uni. Man went from being fleshy and having good grades to almost looking like a skeleton whilst accumulating carryovers. Crystal meth(Ice) is one thing you should never go into, no matter how much peer pressure is applied on…
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Who makes funnier skits right now?
Funnybros Sabinus
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The Nigerian parents urge to say "platform" or "forum" instead of "group chat".
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It’s been 1 month, 19 days, 12 hours, 3 minutes and 37 seconds since Spiderman: No way home was released, and NetNaija is still yet to upload it on their site.🤦🏾♂️
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In as much as I feel very bad for her, this is funny asl.😭😭😂
A Yoruba man just showed my friend pepper, and she’s not even having it rn.😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
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With my current CGPA, the only first class I'm looking for now is flights. Na mumu dey find am for school.
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This has to be the best algorithm I’ve ever witnessed on this app.
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Went to see my guy yesterday and his mum was advising us on premarital sex and how we should avoid it. Low key I was laughing I’m my mind cus my guy attended his parent’s wedding.😭
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Na Yoruba man been almost make us lose, but na Igbo man later save us. Bring out your pads let’s play a game.
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Davido is slowly fading from this "GOAT" discussion tbh.
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Life is like semo, if you no chop am now, e go spoil tomorrow.
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Members of the LGBTQ community will never take “No” as an answer from a straight person they’re wooing, continue to make the person feel like he/she isn’t straight by messing with their head, then come here to drag people for admitting to homophobia, when they’re the actual cause
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I act like I'm fine but deep down, I just want to see Ruger's left eye.
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Partners in crime.
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Today, I got called to the largest bar in Africa. Allow me to reintroduce myself,
C.A Udolisa Esq.
LLB(Hons), BL(Hons), AICMC
BARRISTER AND SOLICITOR OF THE SUPREME COURT OF NIGERIA.
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Cultists dey scatter tl with tweets, but Odumodu Blvck never tweet since. Tomorrow ein go enter studio go record “I go dagger am”.
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“Wow, you’re studying law? I can finally go and start looking for trouble, so you’ll defend me.”
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No be by tomboy, when period come you go still wear pad.
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I honestly suggest that Yabaleft (and I mean the psychiatric hospital) should create and have a twitter account where we can tag them to tweets and replies of mad people for them to be located and given help, cus they’re no longer roaming the streets, they’re on this app with us.
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Stefflon Don carry people papa and mama handicap and she think say e funny. Person go soon go village swear for her womb now and she won’t be able to Burna boy.
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I don’t want to be a mechanic, I want to be a baller.🖤
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Hear me out.
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She probably explained the movie scene by scene😭😭😂😂
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Next year I'm going strictly into agriculture, to harvest the root of all evil.
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Happy birthday my bro
@the_Lawrenz
, you will get what you deserve, and I promise you, there’s no escaping it. If you want to live long, it’s your choice. God bless you if he’s in the mood.🙏🏾💜
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Just found out that my younger sister saved my contact as "Chibuzor Udolisa" and saved that of her boyfriend as "Baby Boy🥰😍🥺❤️". Chisom, is blood a joke to you?
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Barb this hairstyle in my house and my parents won’t grant you access inside.
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You’re a law student, and all you do is play basketball and volleyball without going for lectures, you’re worried about the wrong court my guy.
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Ever since I found out that pure water is actually cleaner than bottled water, I never looked back.
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Sapa nice counterattack.👍🏾
Say what you want, but no matter how broke I am, you will never see me inside public transport.
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Na peer pressure Dey make some of una chop rice with fork.
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Something about atheists wearing Christian Dior looks sus to me.
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Anybody wey do August dump na either yahoo boy, 🪝☕️ babe or ritualist, cus na all of us see shege this month.
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I spent the whole of November/December sending emails to firms and none have been forthcoming. From my mouth to God’s ears, I’ll receive an email like this soon.🙏🏾
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My barber snapped tbh.
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This has to be one of the best glow-ups in the Nigerian music industry tbh.
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“Relationship wey money no dey, e go later boring, e go later sour, e go later scatter, she go serve you breakfast on a bigger platter.”
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This.
~ What was that incident that made you stop your “Talking stage” with someone?
Share your story 🤔 😂
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This Bella Shmurda’s interview lives rent free in my head.😭😭😂😂😂
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