Daniel Carcillo
@CarBombBoom13
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Following
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Brain Health • Concussion • Mushrooms • Psychedelic Advocate • @healingrt • 2x @StanleyCup Champ
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
After 10 years in the
@nhl
164 fights and 7 diagnosed concussions, I was a shell of myself when I retired in 2015 at the age of 30
I was being told by doctors that I had mild dementia symptoms that needed to be managed and were incurable
I would not accept that diagnosis and…
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“I don't want somebody else to be in this position, you know?
You have a lot more years to live after professional sports.”
Thank you to the
@PlayersTribune
for capturing my story & to
@NICKBOYNTON24
for such an honest piece of writing. Love you bro!
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I spent last night in Toronto, Ontario sucker punching people in the face for their political views
I wish Milbury was still in the city
I had to settle for Logan Couture
#NHL
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I am fucking crushed. You will be missed deeply Ray. I love you man.
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I looked up to you Ray. The only time the pain subsides is when I’m with my boy Wolfy. I cant stop replaying what you said to me the last time I saw you, about how lucky I am to have my kids and family. I know you wanted that. I’m hurting brother. Doesn’t make any sense right now
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Scarlett Edda Carcillo 🍼👶 Born at 4:20am and weighing in at 6lb 15oz Mom is healthy & doing well. I’m a happy daddy. Today is a good day!
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This is one of the scariest & hardest things I’ve ever had to write but here it goes. I am pledging my brain to Ted Carrick and the
@Carrickinst
(Carrick Institute) to be used for study and furthering understanding of the consequences of traumatic brain injury when I pass
@NHL
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I worshipped at the alter of hockey. I perked up when Don Cherry said things like “listen up kids” when he described violence in hockey & what being a real man looks like...And I listened. When I was abused as a minor at the hands of coaches & teammates, I shut up & moved on...
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For the 1st time in a very long time, I felt proud of myself this morning
I was able to give myself a pat on the back
This may sound trivial to some, but for some1 who is use to using negative self talk to motivate myself, this is a profound shift in mindset
#SickNotWeak
#CBD
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I will always remember Ray as a good person first & foremost. I envied his demeanor. He had a contagious personality. People were drawn to him. I made close friendships bc of him
@DaveBolland
I will never forget his selflessness. Man this hurts. Rest easy Uncle Ray Ray
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Heading home to 🇨🇦 for Ray Emery’s celebration of life today. It’s been a rough week. Looking forward to sharing stories with the mutual friends I’ve made through Ray, honoring his life & hopefully finding some type of closure or relief, if at all possible
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#Quenneville
deserves better. A mans man.
He was the most respected coach amongst players that I’d ever played for.
If this desperate move doesn’t help the
@NHLBlackhawks
Hockey Operations ppl will begin to be relieved of their duties next.
#Blackhawks
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3/ I skated off the ice & ran down the tunnel into Coach Q’s office. He had just heard. I was crying. He was crying. He hugged me in my equipment. I was a mess. I couldn’t play. He said he understood. He comforted me. He listened. He didn’t force me to play. I’m forever grateful
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For everyone saying,
“Fuck Tom Wilson. He deserved it”
Regardless of his past actions, wishing a brain injury on someone is twisted.
As you were
@NHL
fans.
#WednesdayThoughts
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As a sexual abuse survivor, I need to thank Rick Westhead publicly
Without his reporting & real journalistic practices, we would never have such a bright spotlight on all of hockey’s shortcomings, and victims would continue to suffer in silence
Much love
@rwesthead
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After seeing all of the negative messages towards Stan Bowman, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell
@NHLBlackhawks
fans how Stan Bowman helped save my life.
1/ I blew my ACL out on January 2nd 2012 & had surgery to repair my ligament. I was on a one year deal at close to...
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The firing of
#Quenneville
is nothing more than John McDonough, Stan Bowman & Al MacIsaac’s (Hockey Operations) desperate attempt to save their jobs.
There has always been tension between Joel & the above men mentioned.
Barry Smith is best friends with Scotty Bowman
#Blackhawks
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#BullyingAwarenessWeek
The year is 2002-2003 I am 17 turning 18 yrs old & it’s my
@NHL
draft year
I moved away from home, family & friends, to play hockey in the
@OHLHockey
for the
@StingHockey
I endured daily bullying/abuse at the hands of veteran players
Below is my story...
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1/ If u have played the game the way I have, this clip is not that difficult to break down. Notice Wilson’s right skate before or at the initial point of contact. It is leaving the ice intentionally, which means he thrusts his body into an upward direction, which is towards the
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Mr. Roenick & the people who support him are a glowing example of everything that is wrong with the hockey community
Playing the victim after being fired from
@NHLonNBCSports
bc of sexual comments made about a colleague while on
@spittinchiclets
is absurd
#NHL
#Hockey
#Abuse
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I’m getting a lot of messages and DMs from former players and parents naming their abusers
Many are current coaches in the
@NHL
@TheAHL
@CHLHockey
@HockeyCanada
We are only scratching the surface with this type of information
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1) Happy to see some current
@NHL
players sticking up for themselves
@NHLPA
where you at?
@RobinLehner
&
@jackeichel
’s treatment by the
@BuffaloSabres
is in no way an isolated incident
I’m sure you could dig up thousands of stories just like it
Some are worse…..
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I know some people r going to take this the wrong way. Some are going to say I’m being dramatic. But I’m just speaking my truth. I would trade my name on the
@StanleyCup
twice over for another conversation with Steve Montador. That’s how much I care about this advocacy work
@nhl
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We can't be silent about mental health issues in hockey anymore. Watch my
@PlayersTribune
video:
http://t.co/FvN5vTJBlI
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As an abuse survivor, I believe and support Kyle and other victims. This is a pervasive issue & I have dedicated the second act of my life to helping those suffering from emotional and physical trauma. For anyone out there who is still suffering, please know it can get better.
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I’ve heard from several current players that Marc has acknowledged his wrong ways in the past and has exhibited zero signs of repeating that same behavior
It’s refreshing to see a coach rehabilitate himself, apologize for his wrong doings & take responsibility
#Blackhawks
This is a really remarkable statement from Crawford. It's not just the usual "I regret my prior actions" boilerplate stuff, but rather "I realize what I did was shitty and sought professional help for the last decade to address it."
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#Blackhawks
I’d ask that everyone share their favorite story about
#Queneville
here is mine
1/ It’s Feb. 15th 2015 I’m about to walk into the room to get dressed. My phone is ringing off the hook. I answer. It’s a friend crying on the other line saying Steve’s gone. Steve’s gone
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Ironically, the NHL, as an industry, is a bigger enemy to itself than any of us grieving families/friends will ever be
Case in point, Pierre McGuire mansplaining the game of hockey to USA Olympian & gold medalist, Kendall Coyne Schofield
@NHLonNBCSports
@NHL
#NHL
#BellLetsTalk
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Not being able to control emotions after a traumatic brain injury is one of the most common symptoms of
#concussion
I have personally cried on the medical table during a diagnosis, not grasping why I couldn’t control it
I’ve seen countless others have the same reaction
#TBI
Man, I see why Luke Kuechly retired early now. This is hard to watch. Take care of yourself before anything else!
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Most people are talking about the number of games Bortuzzo should get
I’d like to see the conversation shift from games missed to a proper monetary value on deliberate infractions like this to guard against it happening again
Take 250k - 500k away...make him feel it
#NHL
Viktor Arvidsson injured after taking two nasty cross-checks from Robert Bortuzzo
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6/ The sport of hockey is an amazing game. It is not religion, nor should it be treated that way. Jess Allen’s & my views of hockey may not be 100% right & fit the perfect mold some of you have in your head of this sport/community, but they are honest takes, in our own experience
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Breathe, cut the grass, shovel the driveway, prepare food from scratch, go to the gym, practice yoga, write, read, play with my kids outside, listen to music, take a drive, reach out to family & friends...things I do when my
#anxiety
#depression
becomes overwhelming
#MentalHealth
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I’ve been the guy crying in his car after playing in an
@nhl
game
I’ve texted family members and loved ones that I was ok
That I feel fine
Fine and ok are not feelings
Speak your truth
#MentalHealthMatters
#FridayThoughts
#FridayFeeIing
#FridayMotivation
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The past 4 yrs of my life have been difficult, as I continue down the road of recovery from emotional & physical trauma
I was negative, sad, frustrated, angry & ultimately made a plan to take my own life 4 months ago bc I lost hope & thought I had exhausted all treatment options
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10/ the kind of man that Stan Bowman is. I want to people to take a breathe before they spew negativity towards ppl they’ve never met. Stan is a survivor. He’s a warrior. I hope this story helps to humanize someone in a very public & difficult job.
@NHLBlackhawks
#Blackhawks
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2,011,245 views on FB alone of my
@PlayersTribune
that
@sammaller
@NICKBOYNTON24
Andrew Alberts created together. I’ve never cried more than I have in the past 2 days. Tears of joy bc of the lives we will impact/save & sadness bc of the unknown
@NHL
@NHLPA
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It’s been 7 days since releasing this
@PlayersTribune
video. It’s been viewed 4.6 million times on FB alone. I’ve come to realize that this is a human issue & much bigger than the
@NHL
Myself
@NICKBOYNTON24
r advocating 4 proper diagnosis & care for a
#TBI
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From
@CoachsCornerDC
to Mike Babcock to Bill Peters, abuse has always been ripe in the
#hockey
community
Victims need to be heard & people that abuse positions of power need to be held accountable
@NHL
@MapleLeafs
@NHLFlames
@NHLBlackhawks
@NHLPA
@TheAHL
@CHLHockey
#NHL
#Abuse
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This morning my sickness was telling me to stay inside & watch tv. My sickness was saying things like “stay on the couch” & “you won’t miss anything not playing with ur son” I did the opposite of what my sickness was telling me to do & I fought for my happiness today
@SickNotWeak
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Rest in peace Chris Simon and my condolences to his family and friends
This is a stark reminder that a contributing factor to this tragedy was playing in a league that continues to deny a link between repetitive head trauma and neurodegenerative disease
If you are a current…
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@Sportsnet
People like Brian Burke continue to drive the
@NHL
’s archaic rhetoric of hate. The
#Canes
surge is a positive thing that has the ability to draw in new fans. Fans that enjoy the game for skill over violence & hate.
Brian Burke’s negativity is painful to listen to 🤮
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As days move forward & the truth continues to surface about people & abuse in the hockey world, more & more ppl would like to try & discredit the stories of abuse bc of my past
My past is proof of purchase
I am guilty of being a racist, homophobic bully on & off the ice
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Anthony Bourdain had fame, money, a passion for his job that he clearly loved & many adoring fans
#depression
doesn’t give a fuck about any of that. If you are without hope, reach out to a friend, loved one, stranger, someone, anyone! Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255
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4/ ....I’ve said it before, in my experience, hockey culture is toxic. My kids will not being going near a hockey rink until there is some tangible proof that the culture is changing. The removal of Don Cherry & his subconscious messaging influencing children is a good start.
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If the rumors are true, Willie O’Ree & Gary Bettman are going to be inducted into the
@HockeyHallFame
as builders. Willie is best known for being the first black player in the
@NHL
Gary Bettman is best known for his denial of
#CTE
which contributed to the deaths of former players
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Robin Lehner out here proving that bipolar 1 and mental illness are not a death sentence
Congrats big boy
@RobinLehner
Can’t put in to words how happy me and my family are to finally find a home. Especially in a fantastic place like las Vegas with this great team and organization. It’s been a long road to get here for me and I could not be any happier. Life is at times not easy and
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“I wasn't born with a mental illness. I never suffered from anxiety or depression. After concussions, I was suffering & I had to figure out why”
I sat down with
@criscyborg
to speak about the mental toll a lifetime of fighting can have
@PlayersTribune
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2) His name was Steve Montador
He was my best friend
He was cleared for 19 concussions in the NHL
He was cleared for 4 concussions in a span of 12 weeks while we played together on the
@NHLBlackhawks
His 16th, 17th, 18th & 19th brain injury in just 571 NHL games…
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This picture was from the day after my wedding. We were on a cruise. We spent the whole time downstairs with my brothers, Paul & Steve & Riley Cote, just talking, drinking, laughing & smiling. There r very few ppl in this world that you long to be around. Ray was one of those ppl
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2/ ...bc, well, that’s what a real man does. I also became the bully. I became a person in the hockey world that I can’t recognize today & I never want to be again. The hockey world is small & Jess Allen is right about it being a sport for privileged, predominantly white boys
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Couple fellas with mustaches on a playoff run, livin the dream in LA Congrats on a wonderful career
@bbicks29
you r still ugly
@shawz15er
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Carter Hart paying tribute to Ray Emery
Your smile, laugh, warm personality, smooth dance moves and freestyles are missed by many brother
Love you uncle Ray Ray 😢❤️
@NHLFlyers
#Flyers
#NowOrNever
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Today, I'm retiring from the
@NHL
. My retirement letter, in honor of Steve Montador:
http://t.co/nBK0RONQZs
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Plant medicine has helped to change my view of the world, my energy & heal my inner child. I approach situations that once use to have difficult emotions attached to them with ease. My
#depression
has all but subsided & when it does come, it comes with less intensity
#SickNotWeak
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15/ Everything happens for a reason!
Don’t discredit times of suffering
Through pain, both emotional & physical, I have discovered who I am
If u r experiencing bullying/abuse of any kind & u don’t know what to do, confide in someone you trust for advice
#MentalHealth
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Had the league of denial made the right call in game 2 with Wilson’s hit to the head on Doumilin, Reese’s jaw would be in tact & he wouldn’t be suffering from a traumatic brain injury. He is now at risk for early on set
#Alzheimers
#dementia
#parkinsons
#tbi
#cte
@NHLPlayerSafety
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5/ Now let’s fix the fear based learning & negative talk that most coaches spew towards players to motivate them. We get so much more energy from positive thoughts & words, rather than the negative notions that are drilled into us from early ages
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Been battling this week with heavy anxiety & depression
Heading in for professional treatment today to process
You don’t get crops without ploughing up the ground first
#ThursdayThoughts
@SickNotWeak
#SickNotWeak
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@MarkLazerus
Kendall Coyne Schofield’s On ice accomplishments in the first 2 photos vs Pierre McGuire’s.......
Who knows the game of hockey better?
Sans Mansplaining needed
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2/ I was in shock. I tried to hide it and get dressed. I broke down once I got to my skates & looked over at his old stall next to Seabrook. I hid it well tho. Making it on the ice to warm up. I did a few laps & broke down crying again. I couldn’t do it. I was spiritually done..
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11) I love the saying
Nothing changes if nothing changes
Only current players have the power to make these changes within the
@NHLPA
Remember guys, you pay the dues, they work for you
Put people in power who will work for you and go to battle
✌🏻 & ❤️
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In my experience, undiagnosed
#trauma
is at the core of
#addiction
,
#mentalhealth
issues &
#suffering
Here’s to hoping Bobby Ryan can unload his trauma by utilizing the tools of the NHL/NHLPA Substance Abuse/Behavioral Program
I used the program twice & it saved my life
#help
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Today is 1 year since Ray passed. I think about him often, and was lucky enough to be surrounded by friends who adored him and loved him for the person he was this past weekend.
Kind, thoughtful, selfless and funny, Ray’s smile and energy attracted countless people to him...
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Enforcers who played in the
@NHL
die 10 years earlier, on average, than other NHL players
The enforcers died more often of suicide, drug overdoses, and neurodegenerative disorders (like Alzheimer’s) than did other NHL players. These causes of death are often linked to CTE and…
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@Marisa_Ingemi
Don’t let the
@barstoolsports
🎹 warriors bring you down
You don’t deserve that kind of treatment
Their platform is built to resonate with toxic masculinity, which includes judging/belittling women who are in a position of power & who represent change in sport
Fuck em
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The picture on the left is of me in my first training camp with
@penguins
& my last training camp 10 yrs later
The picture on the right is of me recently, after 4 years of recovering my brain health & zero head trauma
Who looks healthier?
#NHL
#TBI
#mentalhealth
#concussion
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People are asking me to say something good about hockey coaches
The best coach I had in minor hockey was Rob Gibb, in the
@OHLHockey
it was Greg Gilbert, in
@TheAHL
I can’t name one and in the
@NHL
it was John Stevens and Joel Quenneville
Not a bad word to say about them
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If you’ve had a concussion, or several, and you feel there is no hope in getting better, please keep the faith
I was an extreme case and white coats told me I had early onset dementia
I refused to believe my diagnosis and continued to forge a path forward with the support of…
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As head coach of the
@LAKings
Darryl Sutter refused to let us eat on the plane after a bad loss & told a female stewardess to “fuck off” when she didn’t roll the food away fast enough
Hockey can do better than the Sutter brothers
“Hopefully he has more energy than in his 499th game.” - Darryl Sutter on Johnny Gaudreau playing his 500th career
@NHL
game tonight.
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3/ ...you are privileged if you can spend north of $10,000 to register for hockey. She is right about the type of men that are drawn to the sport. I was one of those men. She stated “in her own experience” before describing what she believes her experience with hockey to mean.
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I can’t stop watching this video. So glad I captured this moment
#family
Laila & Austin loving on Scarlett
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4/ he so very clearly deserves, from a league that refuses to admit a link between traumatic brain injuries and the need for treatment
#cte
@NHLPlayerSafety
#nhldobetter
#georgeparros
@NHL
#denial
@NHLPA
#compliance
#tbi
#alzheimers
#dementia
#parkinsons
#depression
#anxiety
#nhl
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There are many tools in my tool box that I use to fight anxiety, depression & suicidal ideation
Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t but I haven’t stopped searching
Much love to everyone out there fighting for their happiness
#MentalHealthAwarenessDay
#SickNotWeak
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I turned on
@NHLonNBCSports
last night after Jeremy sent that tweet out about me. To see & hear
@KathrynTappen
@AnsonCarterLA
&
@Jeremy_Roenick
laugh about my advocacy work and chalk it up to having “to many adult beverages” was really disheartening & hurtful.
#EndTheStigma
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9.4 Million views on Facebook. It’s been a very fulfilling 3 weeks. I look forward to continuing to advocate for proper understanding, diagnosis & care for a traumatic brain injury
@NHL
@NHLPA
@NFL
@NBA
@MLB
@MLS
@NASCAR
#TBI
#concussion
#MentalHealth
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My mom sent me a text message that breaks my heart.
She thinks she failed to protect me as a parent
She didn’t. I didn’t tell them. If I told my parents what was going on, they would have gotten in the car to come & get me & my dream would have been over
If my grandfather...
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Rick Rypien, Derek Boogard, Bob Probert, Todd Ewen, Jeff Parker, Wade Belak, John Kordic, Stephane Morin, Steve Chiasson, Terence Tootoo, Luc Bourdon, Don Sanderson, Tom Cavanagh, Jordan Boyd, Terry Trafford, Larry Zeidel, Reggie Fleming, Ray Emery, Steve Montador
#BellLetsTaIk
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On days like today, when my sickness wants to try & trick me into isolation, I employ my own set of tricks. I start reaching out to ppl I care about, just to say hello. Why? Bc by being selfless & thinking of another, I get some relief from my sickness
@SickNotWeak
#MentalHealth
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I was guilty of the racism that Akim wishes to irradicate from hockey by transparently sharing his experience in an effort to improve the sport
I stand with Akim Aliu against
#racism
in
#hockey
@Dreamer_Aliu78
@PlayersTribune
#TimeToDream
#NHL
#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth
During these difficult past few months, I’ve done lots of thinking and self reflection, and decided to tell the story of my own journey in my own words. I hope this will inspire the next generation of athletes when things return to normal.
#TimeToDream
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If anyone has any questions regarding the class action lawsuit against the
@CHLHockey
that was filed today, you can reach out to my lawyer James Sayce jsayce
@kmlaw
.ca
@OHLHockey
@TheWHL
@QMJHL
#ohl
#whl
#hockey
#abuse
#nhl
#hazing
#accountability
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I spent that past 3 days alone, just me and my 3 kiddos as my wife took some time to recharge with some gfs in Austin, TX
I wanted to give a shoutout to all the stay at home moms and dads out there, as well as any caregivers on this Sunday funday
#Respect
#SundayThoughts
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6/ If you don’t have the strength to call or text or look someone in the eye & express that, write down how you feel or tell an animal
Just Get It Out
The more we speak honestly about human issues, the more normalized this conversation will become
#WorldSuicidePreventionDay
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I felt the full weight of mental health ‘stigma’ the past 3 days. Acquaintances, friends & family members looking, speaking & treating me differently bc of the video I put out. Heavy stuff. I sometimes wish I can just start all over. I sometimes regret the decisions I’ve made...
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I’d say throw the book at Corey Perry, but my gosh, that walk of shame might just cut deep enough for him to learn his lesson
Ouch 😣
#WinterClassic2020
#WinterClassic
#NHL
@NHL
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