Uncle Cal
@CalEvans
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@PADI Certified Master Scuba Diver Trainer Author of "Uncle Cal's Guide for New Scuba Divers" https://t.co/qx9roy1v5e
Joined April 2007
Dear Jr, Developers,. EVERY Sr. Developer you know and admire for what they know or can do has spent time this week staring blankly at code and screaming in their head "WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK?". It's not just you. :).
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Managers:. If you call your people "resources", they get to call you “overhead”. Ingrain that in your memory.
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Reasons you should interrupt a programmer w/headphones on:. 1: Building is on fire.2: Last call for coffee.3: Pizza arrived. Reasons you should not interrupt a programmer w/headphones on:. 1: Every other reason.
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Time for my yearly reminder. Managers:. If you call your people "resources", they get to call you “overhead”. Burn that in your memory.
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I no longer quantify problems in the length of time it took to solve them, or the lines of code. My new measurement is "Tabs". "This was a 30 tab problem. I had to go in deep.". "I solved that one with only 1 tab. ". :).
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Sitting at work bored and wondering what to do? DO me a favor. Please send :.- @derickr (XDebug).- @s_bergmann (PHPUnit).- @seldaek and @naderman (Composer) . a huge thank you. Outside of the Core, these 4 have affected how we write PHP more than anyone else. :).
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Conference Participants:. Q&A time is not "Stump the Chump" time. It is a chance for you to get clarification, not try and prove you know more than the speaker. Be nice, be polite, or find another talk. :).
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Developer: We need to migrate to PHP 7.2. Client: Why?.D: It's twice as fast as the PHP 5 version we are using now!.C: The site is fast enough. D: Then we can reduce our infrastructure cost by almost 1/2. C: SOLD! . SUPPORT PHP 7.2.
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@johnrich @BradPaisley Man, that sux. I really liked @BradPaisley. I remember how crushed I was when I found out @jimmybuffett raised money for Hillary. Dang near killed me. This isn’t that bad, but it still sux.
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Dear future potential employers. My salary history is none of your business. The only reason you ask is to see if you are "paying to much". The only questions you need to ask are:.- Can I do the job.- Can you afford what I am asking. If YES to both, the rest doesn't matter.
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@ScottPresler @DNCWarRoom @elonmusk You, sir, are a master. This is just an epic response. Honestly, I've not enjoyed following someone this much since John MacAfee passed. Well done. :).
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Do you develop with error_reporting(E_NONE)?. PHP 8 is gonna be an eye opener for you. :). Set E_ALL NOW and fix those E_WARNINGS and E_NOTICES before it's too late.
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"Turns out work-from-home employees work a true full-shift (or more) versus being late to the office or leaving early multiple times a week".
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Advice I gate to a Jr. Dev yesterday. "You will switch languages 3-4 times in your career, languages (and frameworks) are just tools. Don't invest yourself in tools, learn to think like a programmer.".
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Dear Developer Managers,. After 36 years of writing software, one constant remains unchanged:. RAM is still cheaper than additional developers. If you want to improve the productivity of your team, get them computers with a min of 64GB of RAM. Ur Welcome! :).
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Developers, . Never turn down an opportunity to talk to someone about a new job. Even if you are happy where you are. You may find something better. At the very least, it can help you determine if you are under valued at your current position. Always take the call.
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Talent Stacking is a concept EVERY software developer needs to understand and implement. I've always been a writer. Early in life I discovered I had a passion and talent for writing. Once I started writing code, I discovered I could stack my ability to write articles on top of.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, there are 3 things that make PHP special:. 1: The language is easy to use.2: It has the best documentation of any language out there.3: The community is awesome.
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I basically lost a day of programming because I tried to be clever with some code. Kids, don't write clever code. Write readable, usable, debugable code.
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Many companies that promote their best developers into management lose twice. First, they have just lost their best developer. Second, they probably just gained a poor manager.
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To every PHP developer out there who has ever written a blog post sharing what you've learned or figured out. THANK YOU! :).
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I've been seeing a lot of posts about #WPDrama and the tactics being used against community members. The general consensus is that the mad king owns the community and can do as he pleases. Nothing could be further from the truth. I spent a lot of time as a community organizer.
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Programming is solving problems by writing code. The ONLY skills required to be a programmer are the ability to understand the problem, & the ability to write the code that solves it. Anyone that tells you that you need any other skill to be a programmer is pushing an agenda.
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Next time I see “PHP Ninja Wanted” I’m just gonna send them a bill. When they respond they’ve never seen me, I’ll simply say “Exactly.” :).
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Two things need to be said:. 1: The PHP community is the most loving and helpful tech community I've ever seen. They embody the spirit of "pay it forward". 2: I have some awesome friends who when called upon, step up to help. THANK YOU. You know who and you know why. :).
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Lot of y'all are gonna have trouble upgrading to PHP 8. Better set errors to E_ALL *now* in dev and fix those NOTICES and WARNING.
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If you are a developer who has transitioned into management (whether or not you wanted to) What was the ONE THING that was the hardest for you to learn? . (Please RT for reach).
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Merry Christmas!. Today I want to say a special thank you to the Framework architects who have given us the tools to build awesome with PHP. Thank you .- @mwop (Zend Framework).- @fabpot (Symfony).- @PhpNut (Cake PHP).- @taylorotwell (Laravel).
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Software development in a nutshell:. PM:How long will this take?.Me: Feels like 2 days.PM: You said that LAST time. Me: How long did that take?.PM: 6 days. Me: Ok, 6 days. 3 days later. me: Done.
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Software architecture is a separate and distinct skill from software development. Many times the best developer is not a good architect.
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As a PHP community cheerleader, the 2 saddest words I hear from PHP devs are "What's Composer?" :(.
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Uncle Cal's Golden Rule of Management:. If you call your people resources, they get to call you overhead.
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Reason number 4,631 I love PHP:. I just wrote 50 lines of PHP in 20 minutes to accomplish a task I needed done. - No framework.- No best practices.- No one explaining that I did it wrong. That's why I program to make computers do things I need done.
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@marcorubio If you had supported us on Jan 6th and stopped the process long enough to think this through, WE WOULDN”T BE HERE. As a Floridian, I am ashamed you represent me.
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Started putting a docbloc on a piece of code today and realized:.- The name was descriptive.- Inputs has type hints.- Return value had type hints. I removed the docbloc :). I love PHP. :).
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Do you want to get the most out of a technical conference? . Stop thinking you are ATTENDING a conference. Start thinking you are PARTICIPATING in a conference. Change your perspective, change your experience.
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Learn PHP. Let the other 20% of the web figure it out forthemselves. :).
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The basis for the best tech talks I have ever seen is . "I learned something while building this and I wanna show you." . NOT . "As the expert, listen to me.".
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Oh. For my birthday I got myself a drone. So expect a LOT of gratuitous “dronies” :)
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Distributed Teams gave us:.- Linux.- WordPress.- Joomla.- Drupal.- PHP.- Firefox. Co-located Teams gave us:.- Windows.
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Once more for those of you in the cheap seats. Uncle Cal's First Law of Management:.If you call your developers "resources", they get to call you "overhead".
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As a leader, your job is to protect your team. Your team knows what needs to be done and they probably know how to do it better than you. Give them cover so they can get their job done.
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If you call your people resources, they get to call you overhead.
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Software programming in a nutshell:. My first task every morning is to close the 10-20 browser tabs I opened yesterday to solve yesterday's problem.
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@SenMarcoRubio @Kateva With respect, Senator, giving the Government more power to regulate the Internet is even worse for America.
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GOOD MORNING!. "Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it’s bad.". -- Corey House.
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Non-dev friends, . When considering a host for your PHP based site, ask prospective hosts what ver of PHP they install by default. 7.0 is the wrong answer. 5.x is wronger.
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Real world PHP 7.0 benchmarks . http://t.co/9yuvCgk7h8. "PHP 7.0 is 95.76% faster than 5.6.” . o.0.
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“ Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. ” . - Martin Fowler.
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@ScottforFlorida Do you admit that Red Flag laws are bad and commit to not allowing them to be passed?.
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If you have never been a developer, you have no business managing developers. -- Cal Evans.
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Software Development in a nutshell:. WHY DOESN'T THIS WORK?!?. Oh. I'm an idiot.
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If you use FOSS and do not pay. You have absolutely no right to support. Read the license, it outlines exactly what rights you have and NONE of them grant you right to someone else's time. 1) Fix/Understand it yourself.2) Pay someone. Those are your options.
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you know, the $202,035 number excites me because I know it will help. but honestly, the 1.2k number makes my heart leap with pride. The #PHP Community - the World Wide Herd - is THE BEST! . Again, thank you for stepping up for @weaverryan .
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Self-taught does not mean I did it all by myself without help from anyone else. it means I chose my own path and my own timeline. We all stand on the shoulders of giants, we are all the stepping stones of the next generation.
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Once again for those in the cheap seats:. In a conference session, Q&A time is NOT YOUR TIME TO SHINE! . If you disagree with the speaker, BUY THEM A BEER LATER AND DISCUSS IT!. OR. Submit your own dang talk and present your ideas.
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Hire good people, treat them w/respect, give them the tools they need, then let them do their job. That's the secret to an awesome dev team.
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@ScottPresler @Kimberly_Ham5 @EarlyVoteAction Once again sir, I applaud you. You are a master at monetizing their hate. It's so much fun to watch. I thank God daily that you are on OUR side. :).
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Once, I gave a talk to 1,500 people. Sometimes I give a talk to 500+ people.Most of the time I give talks to 200-250 people. I gave a talk once to 8 people. It's not about how many people are in the audience. It's about delivering value to those that showed up. #publicSpeaking.
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A developer can never have:. - A computer too fast.- A monitor too big.- A chair too comfortable.
You would think this is obvious but: business owners, never cheap out on hardware for your developers, I understand trying to save money but this is not a smart place to do so.
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Jr Developer: This is taking me too long to code, I must suck as a Developer. Mid-Developer: That didn't take long as I thought it would, I must be an awesome Developer. Senior Developer: I bet somebody else has already written this. .
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In my book, XDebug, PHPUnit, and Composer are the 3 tools that have changed how we code PHP. Thank you @derickr, @s_bergmann, and @seldaek & @naderman :)
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Attention PHP based project owners. This is how complete your docs and tutorials should be. - Simple tutorial that does not assume you know anything. - Complete docs for when you have questions after the tutorial. Well done @matthieunapoli!.
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PRO PHP Tip:. If you have to resort to a die() in your code for debugging, put the name of the class and method in the die() so you remember where it is 2 hrs later when you finally solve the problem. :).
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“Your Code Sucks, Let’s Fix It”. http://t.co/DRqTnUGpGR. by @rdohms . EVERY PHP developer should watch this.
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1: Create directory.2: git init.3: composer require symfony/console. The start of every project I've worked on in the past year. :).
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Developers, you are where you are because you are standing on the shoulders of giants. It's your job to reach down and give the next generation a hand up. #payItForward.
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Me: So basically, we are left with "Our managers aren't comfortable managing remote developers." . I've said it before and I'll say it again, if your managers aren't comfortable managing remote developers, hire better managers.".
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Never underestimate the value of a strong community like PHP has.
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If your business can't survive having your facebook page being deleted, you have built on rented land.
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