RT @wefail: Ophelia

More likes help feed the ad targeting machine. Making likes private leads to more liking, and consequently, better ad targeting, so that's what we get.

What do you want to know?.

I'm still wondering who Craig Federighi inadvertently locked in his garage.

RT @bengoldacre: This is v sad @rossjanderson was a great battler against dangerous stupidity. His Security Engineering textbook was so rea….

When I press Play on my keyboard, I never ever want it to play the Teams ring tone. Like, not even once.

Military action! In an election year! Why Mr Sunak you have grown a whole foot taller at least!.

When the tools to fabricate reality become so readily available and easy to use that anyone can do it, perhaps we can finally accept that we never could trust what we see and hear.

I'm saving up my tweet rations to make our wedding cake.

I've got a 256 day streak learning Russian on Duolingo, so if you need a talking head for your news programme give me a DM.

The King of England Sues the (former) Richest Man in the World for Rent, has weird fairy tale vibes.

RT @wefail:

This has been great. You can find me back in 2004 on Habbo Hotel.

Has @Pinboard ordered a server rake yet for when he buys Twitter and puts it into read-only?.

If your kid is academically talented, don't send them to private school.

In private schools, how can you tell the diff between mediocre kids with A*s, from those who are actually very good independent learners? You can’t, which is why you pay for private school. But, for unis, state school kids with A/A*s are less of a gamble: you KNOW they’re good.

Kwasi ‘Kwiz Kwestion’ Kwarteng.

Caper movie where the real Crown Jewels affixed to the coffin are surreptitiously replaced with fakes during the long (and very public) funeral ceremony.

Brands: resist the urge to abuse your mailing lists to send a ‘statement’ about the Queen. smh @marksandspencer.

Which candidate promises to standardise chip shop portions?.

Southern Water introduce a hosepipe ban to ‘protect local rivers’. The same Southern Water regularly dumping raw sewage into those rivers?