askeladd
@BozoPack
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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my stomach grumbled while at my swedish friend’s house and they took me out to the backyard and broke both of my kneecaps
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marrying a cop
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econ students be like damn i got a graph of why people need to starve due at 11:59
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this what being funny and hanging out with someone who doesn’t have funny friends feels like
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dunking on a tinder bot account and submitting it to rare insults
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i don’t know a damn thing about fashion but i’m crying is this not the wrong letter
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i know that rasta hat in chet hanks’ closet talking to him like the green goblin mask
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*forgetting the word audiophile* i’m sort of a sound pedophile
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the horniest man you’ve ever met is gonna make sure to let you know that his love language is physical touch
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i’ve seen a lot of people asking for context and no i will not be posting any. you should have been more terminally online because now look at you, not in on the joke
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@aubreultrafan
he definitely makes a new chessdotcom account every time his rating drops too low
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a rapper will drop a “mashallah” or “inshallah” in a song and brown people start acting like the mf built a masjid 😭
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what do you mean i should comfort you instead of giving you a logical solution to your problems?
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indian people on this app: we love israel and would gladly die for the israeli cause
israelis:
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album art lookin like a fortnite teaser
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just found out canadians call their currency loonies and toonies and i don’t ever want to hear a mickey mouse ass opinion from a canadian ever again
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if i was a chicken and saw a swan i think the body dysmorphia would make me kill myself
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@asceticgooner
coming home to take out your anger on your 5’3” wife after a long day of being called a fatass by teenagers
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how bout multimillionares?
how bout 8 inches and thick?
how bout talented?
how bout loving and respectful?
i lost my wife 10 weeks ago, 21 years faithful.
my daughter committed su*cide 3 weeks ago, 13, she was faster than me at 12 and i run a 6 minute mile.
my testimony,…
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@VLONEPREDATOR
dropping a fake community note under these saying “this is a paid advertisement, women are requesting to be black and chinese’d in order to bring more attention to their posts”
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don’t look at it like a race to finish a certain number of episodes, you have to see it more as a journey. 1000 episodes is less daunting that way and if it’s good why would you ever want it to end anyway? it’s not just a silly pirate anime it discusses themes of oppressi–
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arabs will hang out with lions/tigers in their homes and then turn around and be afraid of other races
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sorry i haven’t had the time to reply i’ve been super busy feeling weird in bed all day
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for the people trying to start discourse with me in replies/qrts, i won’t engage because i’m objectively correct and you’re not. pretend that this is my reply to whatever you have to say:
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men will be like “i love stoicism” and then bottle up all of their emotions until they die of a heart attack at 45
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the pivot from “the hospital bombing was a hamas rocket misfire” to “actually we should be allowed to bomb hospitals because of this cgi video we made” is so disgustingly blatant it’s insulting
Hamas operates within and hides beneath the largest hospital in Gaza.
Their priorities are clear—and the people of Gaza are not among them.
SHARE.
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time and time again we have let this creature deceive us into believing he is to be endeared when in reality he is nothing but a beast brimming with greed
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no way this is absolutely insane! i think we should round up every single person who cares about this, lock them up in a large enclosure and have them fight until there is only one left
Kylie Jenner loses 1 Million Instagram followers due to shading Selena Gomez 👀
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just found out that ryan gosling is not actually a relatable autistic loser but is in fact just “playing a role”
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telling my therapist “oh yup that one’s a banger” every time they give me a good piece advice
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angelina jolie is so beautiful that sometimes i forget she’s white
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your crush was thinking about giving you a chance until she saw you tweeting cuck fanfic
your crush is getting fucked tonight by a 6’2 curly head, nicotine addict that wears silver chain and baggy clothes
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me when a beautiful woman starts playing that new jack harlow album around me
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when it’s career day and your dad walk in with his letterboxd reviews
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trans people: i’m trans
society: ok
matt rife: people don’t think i’m funny because i’m too handsome
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@countrysad
sometimes you gotta remix the classics
*guy who doesn’t know the word cinephile* yeah i’m what you might call a movie pedophile
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@lIlIlIIIlIlIIlI
i’m so sorry my joke didn’t contain the nuance you were looking for. i’ll try to use this as a learning moment and i promise it will never happen again.
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i’m mentally unwell but i’ve never decided to wake up, set up a camera, and then fake wake up to film an exaggerated version of my day
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an excellent tip for handling rejection is to simply convince yourself that you are just unlovable
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telling my doctor to “explain in fortnite terms” after receiving a diagnosis
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i tried this and the manager walked me to the back of the store and struck me full force with a metal rod but thanks erika from tiktok
What Nike doesn’t want you to know about getting a free pair of shoes
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got a tweet cookin up about hung juries and above average penis sizes possibly dropping in the next 6-8 weeks stay tuned.
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starting to think that consuming 4 pieces of media all at once to prevent the possibility of a thought even occurring might actually not be the best thing for me
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@funnecfox
there’s nothing wrong with me i am normal and can be trusted around heavy machinery
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BREAKING: prominent incel being outed as a potential fakecel shakes incel community to it’s core 😳‼️
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check up on your friends that have been dressing like adam sandler lately
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