Bored George Church
@BoredSynBio
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This is a parody account. The real George Church is @geochurch
The Future
Joined June 2015
(Yo Momma battle). Yo momma so fat, she has more folds than a protein.
(Yo Momma battle). Yo momma so dumb, the only culture she has is her microbiome. *drops mic*.
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If certain birds can mimic human speech, and birds evolved from dinosaurs, then does that mean some dinosaurs could talk?. Totally hypothetical of course. Totally not making dinosaurs here in Boston. Those strange sounds down the hall are. "construction".
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Judging from the number of people using leaf blowers on windy days, maybe CRISPR babies aren't such a bad idea after all.
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Australia will set aside 30% of its territory to protect endangered species. That's only because it already set aside the other 70% for invasive ones.
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If you don't properly barcode your samples, then you can easily lose track of data. This was actually Ginkgo's first business model, the lost and foundry approach.
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*ahem*.
Tiny hotels for invasive species that are "just passing through".
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Deep sea mining will disrupt fragile ecosystems. Sure. But how else am I going to find that watch I dropped into the ocean?.
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All those hair loss reversal drugs now making headlines were discovered from genome mining experiments conducted on my beard. I better get royalties.
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Science communication is so important. That's why all papers from my lab will now be open source, and written in Klingon.
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There are eight blood types, plus another discovered by my lab:. A+, A-, B+, B-, O+, O-, AB+, AB-, Coke Zero.
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Bacteria that were discovered in Bulgaria make Greek yogurt. Bulgaria needs a better tech transfer office.
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Consumer attitudes on recycling. Refurbished phone: Ew. Refurbished dog: Yes, everyone should get a rescue. Engineered phone: Yes, the latest model! .Engineered dog: We'll see. .
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Mangrove trees can grow over 100 feet in 10 years. After new sequencing studies, biologists now know they're just trying to escape Florida.
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Today, musher Nicolas Petit lost a 5 hour lead in Alaska's famed Iditarod race after yelling at two dogs to stop fighting. All the dogs quit on him after that. Millennials.
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With the great white shark genome now in hand, we should be one step closer to unlocking the mystery behind Sharknados.
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*6-1.
Tom Brady is 5-0 in Super Bowls against teams named after animals (Rams, Panthers, Eagles, Seahawks, Falcons). Biology is better than that.
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Bill Gates is so worried about engineering living things I'm beginning to worry about Bill Gates.
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