.@realDonaldTrump has been accused of sexual a assault. Wait, does this mean that he's a Mexican? I'm confused by the rules. #TrumpTapes

Overhead Squats have basically been my arch nemesis since the day I met them. I used to not be able…

The gym is a great place just to hang out. Plus, if you're feeling sad, you can just take that frown…

Thankful right now for friends who will work with me, talk with me, and pray with me even in life's…

@Dev0nNicole When did timehop start letting people express emotions? And when are you going to slip the surly bonds of PA and go to Florida?

I've spent five minutes in a car with my family and have realized insanity is in my blood and there is no hope for me. #vacation #ohcanada

Dear Greece, I feel your pain. #debtcrisis

I personally just think some songs are worth permanent hearing loss. #turnitupto11

Live every day like it's Pi Day.

Today is Fat Tuesday. Or, as it's called in America, Tuesday.

#BrianWilliams reminds me a lot of me on a first date.

In times of struggle and distress, friends are good, but carbs are better.

Whenever I start to feel lonely, I just remember that I'm apparently flush with people who want to play Candy Crush Soda Saga with me.

I've never considered myself a lightweight, but NyQuil has only 10% alcohol and it just knocked me out for 10 hours.

Going to the gym everyday <<< 80's training montage.

ATMs should have time limits.

I'm currently looking at pictures of peanut butter Hershey's Kiss cookies on the internet while singing "All I want for Christmas is you."

@Dev0nNicole I just realized the case you got me (still on my phone btw) is a freakin' BI-POLAR BEAR!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Black Friday. Just in case you were jealous of what was going on in Ferguson.