Chris Keating
@BadgerLyons
Followers
442
Following
452
Media
3,019
Statuses
20,464
He only had blank lines to say But he said them in a witty and stylish way.
Cork, Ireland
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
If you've popped into my profile to determine what kinda guy you agree with/disagree with/want to batter/claim paternity.
Welcome.
Take a ticket.
But while you're waiting, have a listen to this.
Until a member of my legal team sees you..
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When Sweden play Denmark in the football, the screen shows:
SWE - DEN.
The unused letters make
DEN - MARK.
Carry on...
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@timmydooley
@SPARIreland
Be very careful Timmy and Spar.
There is a HUGE silent majority out there who don't attend protest marches or post on social media for fear of being branded, labelled and pilloried for having a different opinion.
How do I know?
I work in a bar.
The best opinion poll in the land.
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@theJeremyVine
I found a rare photo of Jeremy's grandad.
The apple doesn't fall too far from the greengrocer's stall...
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@fesshole
I know a guy whose ex-girlfriend took his Bob Marley CD collection and his TV set top box.
No woman, no Sky.
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@MrKenShabby
Our granny wanted the old gospel song Oh! Happy Day played at her funeral but because of a clerical error she got the theme song from Happy Days instead.
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@Bik1973
@FancyVegasPro
@ReginaDo
She wasn't 'voted'. She got voted out but was Senatised by Leo and The Lads and now sits in a chamber she campaigned to abolish.
That's Irish politics for ya.
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@LadyHobbit_518
@driverminnie
And you will be very welcome to pop into The Sin É pub for a Fáilte Abhaile drink on your loving pilgrimage home.
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@ManMadeMoon
He visited Liverpool one time and while out shopping some lady tried to sell him aftershave.
But Yul never wore cologne...
I'll get ALL me coats - - - - >
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@DevlinMartina
@MichealMartin
@LeoVaradkar
They are booing the corrupt personalities commandeering a centenary to use as a political party broadcast.
In a nutshell.
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@Independent_ie
Second jab on July 14 2021.
Chest issues begin end of July.
Heart attacks 14 June 2023.
In the meantime, I lose five friends between the ages of 49 and 61.
But, hey! Don't listen to me.
This wasn't meant to be no sad song.
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I have been given access to everything ever written down by the late Mick Lynch of Stump. Journals, diaries, jotters and pads.
Will be working with his sister, Marie, to compile a book of his genius writings.
Mick was our Flann O'Brien
and people need to read him.
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@TweetsByBilal
As a man who has loved his mother and wife and daughter unconditionally and any female who has ever accepted me as a friend and confidant, I'm now beginning to think, what's the fucking point?
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@charlie_lawson1
@Oakfield_81
Why don't you reply with a solid rebuttal as to why three aid vehicles were blown up over a distance of 2km? It wasn't one strike that went awry on one vehicle. It was three individual strikes on three different vehicles over a 2km distance.
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@realDonaldTrump
My God man! I watched your rally speech. The depths you are able to sink to are unfathomable.
I cannot wait for them to come for you after the midterms. Cos that is what they are waiting for. Once they are out of the way, you are in manacles.
Trust me daughterfucker...
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@NaomiOhReally
The colour of skin doesn't matter when you constantly fail to deliver for the people of your country.
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@aoifegracemoore
And as a barman, how am I supposed to read a doctor's handwriting?
Tis getting a bit Willie Wonkers now.
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@johncreedon
I saw a woman talking to her cat yesterday. Having a 'proper' conversation with the cat.
I came home and told my four dogs about it and we all had a great laugh.
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@BrigidLaffan
@MichealMartinTD
@HollyCairnsTD
Isn't he the CEO of a charity called Fianna Fáil?
You do realise, in this clip, he tried to put forward the idea that The Russians orchestrated a campaign against Niall Collins to make Niall Collins look like he was involved in some dodgy land purchase with his missus?
Eejit.
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@TfL
@theJeremyVine
I hope you conclude that Vine is making a big mountain out of a molehill, like he usually does.
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@MichealLehane
I'm heading to a rental house in West Cork mid April with herself and the dogs and to Hell with 'em. I've had enough.
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@HMcEntee
No source yet for your highly dubious claim that the majority of Irish people are in favour of the new Hate Crime law, no?
I didn't think so.
No matter.
You're gone the next GE.
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@campaignforleo
I was a Yes voter. Now I am voting No. Not because I am Pro Life. But since the cervical smear tragedy unfolded I don't trust you, your cabinet or your abstention buddies in FF to do right by any woman in this country.
And it's not over yet.
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@paulcomp
@gavreilly
Stop. This phrase has never once being misconstrued as a homophobic slur.
And it never will.
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@RTENewsPaulC
@LeoVaradkar
@rtenews
Got vaccinated on the promise that that would be that.
How wrong we were.
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@BeebsyMcA
I got married two years ago and moved to the Southside of Cork City. One day, I was walking down Barrack Street and bumped into my Northside friend Liam.
It was very emotional and we hugged each very tightly.
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@rtenews
This guy just lies constantly.
He lies and lies and lies and lies and lies.
He's a liar.
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@ManMadeMoon
My 87 year old mother got her second jab last week. I went to see her and asked her how she felt. Her reply was 'I feel like giving you another baby brother or sister.'
Words, there were none...
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@CllrShaneOC
@FineGael
@EoinBearla
@PatLeahyIT
@oconnellhugh
@AmyPower95
@corkindo
@corkbeo
@yaycork
@katieokeeffe97
@OpinionLine96
@NeilRedFM
I know you people won't respond and I'm wasting my time asking but, how did he 'excel' in every Ministry?
Didn't he promise to end homelessness and the housing crisis in 'one fell swoop'?
It got fucking worse!!!
That's NOT excelling, my friend.
Pricks.
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@BligheDerek
No men at all in the church that would even hazard a 'Sorry lads. What are ye up to?' even though this supposedly went on for 15 minutes.
For 15 minutes, people sat there shitting themselves while six dodgy men filmed the interior of a church.
A quarter of an hour.
Yeah. Right...
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@anniewestdotcom
I'm nearly divorced because of it.
When my wife asks me to do anything around the house I roar back lines from the dad.
'Chris. Will you change the bin bag?'
'SHE HAS A PEDOMETER AND EVERYTHING!'
'Chris. Will you feed the dogs?'
'AH, SHURE WE'RE FLYING IT!'
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@LeoVaradkar
@EmmanuelMacron
If Europe is so great, why can't we Irish apply for car insurance or mortgages from European mainland vendors?
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@RailUsersIe
@henrymartin1
@forksinthebag
Stop. She was actually very restrained in her response.
They drew first blood sagging off her name.
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@Michael_O_Regan
Yeah. In my opinion this was another orchestrated move by the most narcissistic politician to ever walk this land.
Everyone banging on about him wearing the face of someone in a nightclub but no one talking about how his 'evidence' to SIPO split the board 3 to 2.
A dangerous man.
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@Richie_Sombrero
@rubot
Totally. I work in a bar that has two sessions of trad seven nights a week.
The body count in the songs by the end of the week is in treble figures and the amount of acres lost would equate to 6 Rain Forests.
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When an Irishman walked into a pub and put these on the counter you just knew some serious shit was going to be discussed.
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@janemarybutler
I said you were a piece of work a few weeks ago and a few of your sycophants called me out.
But I stuck by my evaluation and this post proves it.
You're a right piece of work.
And there's no point sniffing around your mam's seat. She's gone next election.
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@SummerWright_
I have a confession.
I made home made wine 30 years ago and I've kept it bottled up all this time.
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@danobrien20
You referring to the State broadcaster who had a topic on a political show that went along the lines of The Rise of Sinn Féin and How Do We Stop It?
Yeah. That one.
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@MichealMartinTD
Yet when you were asked about the kerfuffle about the live crib you said THAT was above your pay grade.
And you're gonna sort out the climate?
Biggest spoofer and chancer this country has ever produced.
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@conwayforclare
@LeoVaradkar
I'm convinced you
@FineGael
people take some kinda hallucinogenic smoothie in the morning before you even manage to put your socks on the wrong feet.
It's the only explanation for the absolute bollocks ye come out with.
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@rtenews
@MichealMartinTD
Amazing how they can introduce all manner of emergency legislation in times of a pandemic but when it comes to the pound on our pocket, sorry lads, hands are tied.
And it's not Us. It's The Other Fellas.
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@MichealMartinTD
My eldest will be five years there next May. He is doing very, very well.
If he had stayed in the Ireland that you've destroyed he would not have the life he is living now.
You're an absolute disgrace and a destroyer of Ireland.
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@robggill
Amazing. It always amazes me that people like you ALWAYS want respect for people who in NO fucking way have shown ANY respect for the people of this country in their political lives.
Show me one example of Harris showing respect to people and I'll show you three opposites
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@rtenews
So there was a hot June 83 years ago. Were the media banging on about death and destruction and climate change back in 1940?
Oops! No. Cos a World War had just started.
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@MariaWalshEU
Could you share the post that attacked you? Not that I don't believe it happened or anything but it's just that FG is populated and led by liars.
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@64_hero22
In other spoon news. By end of day, my wife has used almost every teaspoon in the house for her various mugs of tea/coffee, yoghurts, energy drink sachets and uses on average seven tea cups.
She looks at me like I have two heads when she sees me washing a spoon and a mug.
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@josephamadigan
Folks. Do not expect governance from our elected representatives. They stopped governing effectively many, many decades ago.
Their primary talent these days is to be 'concerned' on social media when confronted with the tragedies caused by their inability and lack of empathy.
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@Clievejones
@nicolatallantsw
So I burgle a house, the Gardaí get my fingerprints and probably DNA evidence and then destroy it before my case is heard and expect the judge to convict me purely on their verbal evidence?
Really???
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@simoncoveney
Did we not have masked men assisting in evictions recently in the 26 counties?
Or did I dream that?
Actually, I didn't.
Here they are in Garda uniforms.
Ya chancer.
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@BigBoyler
I work in the Sin É in Cork. Nearly everyone thinks it's named after the famous bar in New York.
Not so. It's called Sin É cos it's right next door to O'Connor's funeral home.
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@Cllr_Gerry
'What's in it for me?'
A good kick up the hole in the next local elections if people in your constituency have any cop on.
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@hughescraig90
@MichealMartinTD
Micheál Martin never accepts your assertion.
Micheál Martin doesn't believe the banks were bailed out.
Micheál Martin didn't accept his approval rating was at 11%.
Micheál Martin thinks he should get the two parachutes cos he's so great.
Micheál Martin is a pity.
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@duawheelie
@shannxhh
That's a new thing now. Got into a cab one night in Cork city and the driver said 'This rank is for the Northside.'
I replied 'Ah. It's not really. I'm going to such a such a place, thanks.'
He was like a demon for the whole journey that took us seven minutes approx.
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@MichealMartinTD
@RCPI_news
I was pretty robust up until I took the Pfizer jab.
Then I got pretty fucked up.
I had two stents put in in June 2022. I've suffered continuously with chest infections culminating in bronchial pneumonia a few weeks ago.
I lost five friends aged 49 to 61 in five months in 2021...
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@SeanKellyMEP
@EPPGroup
@SMuresan
@MariaWalshEU
All very, very busy boys and girls with all the elections coming up...
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@LorraineHallFG
@josephamadigan
Best point on this thread was by someone who said her moan smacks of 'What about me?' instead of the issue actually being discussed.
FG's days are numbered.
Ye're in for a massive wipe out next GE.
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@gavreilly
The biggest collection of greasy palms in history.
Someone get onto the Guinness Book of Records.
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We've lost Cathal Coughlan. The pain is incredible at this moment.
I've lived in awe of that man since I was 16 years old.
And he was still bestowing his musical genius on me right up until now.
I am heartbroken beyond belief.
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@MichealMartinTD
You're a disgraceful public servant. All you do is slag off Sinn Féin while failing at everything you do.
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@ManMadeMoon
Good on ya. Your dad was a global cultural icon. Mine was a master painter and decorator. But at the end of the day, they were fathers. All the characteristics people like about me came from my dad. I like when people see that in me. It means he is still very much present x
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@CorkGreens
Here's something that you Greenies can do instead of shouting out shite.
Take a walk around the city and count and photograph all the drains that are rammed with muck and debris. There are three just on my little stretch of road.
Could they be contributing to flash flooding?
Nah?
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@irishexaminer
Lies. The sealed bags of cow dung were put in front of her feet.
Why is the Examiner facilitating this liar? Do you not have a duty as journalists to report the Truth?
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@nealerichmond
@DeptEnterprise
@Entirl
@IrlEmbLisbon
@IrlEmbMadrid
You're telling us that you are returning with trade deals worth 14bn?????
That over the course of four days that you secured contracts totalling 14bn in trade deals?
You do know that if this is a lie or a gross exaggeration you're gonna get DESTROYED for it.
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@EamonRyan
@POTUS
@SecGranholm
@IEA
It's a con job init, Eamo? You guys fly around the world and travel in cavalcades while telling us to curtail our travelling and car usage.
It's being perceived as a load of bollocks because the people who advocate for change of habits don't adhere one bit to their own advice.
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@fiannafailparty
@malcolmbyrne
@SenatorPatCasey
Yeah. You and your glorious leader did such a stand-up job for the Debenham's workers even going as far as sending the Gardaí to drag women off site and off the streets.
People haven't forgotten your party's abhorrent behaviour and you'll feel that on June 7.
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@Michael_O_Regan
So. Bertie is like a barman who got fired for robbing from the till but gets his job back cos he pulls a great pint.
Cop on to yourself.
He's a liar and a thief.
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@MichealMartinTD
I don't like the politician Micheál and I'm constantly on his case via social media, but he is out with his family at a huge gig in Cork so, give him some peace.
And at least it's not Wastelife.
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@eoghanymurphy
Good. Good for them.
You do know that the cases in which payouts were made were successful because defamation took place. That's how it works.
Unlike FG heads bringing personal injury claims that were fucked out cos they were bogus.
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