You don’t know what fun is until you’ve witnessed a drunk on the Edinburgh to Glasgow train screaming “A fucking hate hedgehogs, come at me ya jabby wee cunt” while angrily circling a hairbrush that’s been dropped on the floor...

once in your lifetime u will meet a girl who is very strange and weird and offputting it's really important that u stay with her

do not flirt with me i am somehow both avoidant and anxiously attached

I hope that, for the amount of grief you have endured, you experience twice as much love

Jesus Christ superstar is on tv so of course I’m singing along. The cats are not impressed, neither is my son.

I’m 4’11 and weigh 97lbs, this Christmas Tree is 7ft and weighs about the same as a small elephant. If you don’t hear from me again I’ve probably been squashed

Which is worse, the fact I bought my cat a Christmas present or that I had my son take him out the room so he wouldn’t see what it was before I wrapped it?

I’ve never seen Die Hard am I doing Christmas wrong?

We're saddened to hear that Scottish actor and comedian Stanley Baxter has died aged 99. Baxter starred in a string of TV comedy shows including the BAFTA-winning The Stanley Baxter Series and The Stanley Baxter Big Picture Show. He received an Outstanding Contribution to Film &

The great Stanley Baxter has died at the age of 99

It's important never to worry about whatever is wrong with you. Someone out there is into that. There is probably something wrong with them too, but you needn't concern yourself with that yet.

Edward Scissorhands (1990), dir. Tim Burton.

there will never be another film like this again (the red shoes, 1948)

A dark night and some pretty lights.

Spotify wrapped has put my listening age as 64, turns out I have the musical tastes of a pensioner

Freezing to death but I love this view

Yes, I’ve read that book. No, I don’t remember the plot and names of the characters. I was too busy relating to the atmospheric despair of the narration.

Some people don't understand that sitting in your own house in peace reading books and minding your own business is priceless.