Middle of nowhere, Alaska. Mom's (and Dad's) final resting spot.

RT @Osgrrr: First, I slimed human's pillow, then I let out a really stinky fart, and now I have the couch all to myself! #Schnauzer #Schnau….

RT @Osgrrr: @PlutoTV What is that evil music that plays during your channel breaks?.

RT @Osgrrr: Rough day at the beauty parlor.

RT @Osgrrr: Human thinks it's hilarious when alcoholics make a big deal over municipal water quality.

RT @Osgrrr:

RT @Osgrrr: I was looking all cute sitting in an awkward position, so Michael got the camera out. I was looking straight at the camera then….

RT @Osgrrr:

RT @Osgrrr: New cooling pad.

RT @Osgrrr: Yeah, I know it's supposed to get up to 99 this afternoon, but I insist on being outside for now.

Switched vets for Oscar today. His old vet allegedly drew blood for a heartworm test, but continues to give me the runaround about the results. I'm suspicious that the blood was actually drawn and the test done. Reporting this matter to the Oregon Attorney General. #Fraud.

I said to Oscar, "Oscar, you are a cute little dude!" and Oscar said, "I KNOW I'm a cute little dude!".

Setting boundaries with a new roommate who had a "Karen next door" at his old place. This morning, he told me I drink too much fruit juice. I asked him if that's what the "Karen next door" said.

Do you have people who call you only when they're horny? All of mine are calling today.

RT @Osgrrr: @AustinSchnauzer I KNOW she could've chosen much better gospel songs!.

I'm reconsidering Nina Hagen's gospel album, Personal Jesus, today, as they've released a 15th anniversary edition with extra tracks. I didn't like it when it first came out, but I'm enjoying it today. Still, she could've chosen much better gospel songs.

Oscar and I went to the park this morning, then to a "massive" yard sale that was mostly junk.

I got up to go to the bathroom and when I returned to bed, Oscar had stretched out his body the entire width of the bed. I had to physically move him over. I said to Oscar, "You are such a Schnauzer!" and Oscar said, "I KNOW I'm such a #Schnauzer!".

My Mom always used to say that Nina Hagen wasn't pretty at all. I said I don't think she's trying to be pretty, Mom.

Hey, Stevie Nicks promoters: 8 dates does not constitute an extensive U.S. tour.