Apparently I " got off " with a transexual last night,my mates all gave me some stick,didn't you see his big hands,didn't you see his Adam's apple...of course I didn't see his Adam's apple his beard was covering it ...duh ...!! Peace and love ❤️...!!

If Trump sues the BBC and wins,this Friday's Children in need will be renamed BBC in need ...!!

Odd question..if you win the postcode lottery but you are renting your home,do you get the winnings or does your landlord,afterall the landlord owns the property...!! Until tomorrow lovely people 💕

What a find,someone has left a clothes horse in the woods,I'm gonna take it home and do what we all do with a clothes horse,put my clothes on it,in a spare bedroom...!

@Andyroberts1004

Ooh I hate that duck,HEY ..whose controlling the hand touching Orville...wait Chuckles was real,Keith was the puppet..?? Any hoo i bet Keith pleasured himself whilst crying with Chuckles hand..look at his face ..people..!!

BIG WIN on the 2p machine in the arcade at Llandudno Pier 🍌🍌🍌

A guy i used to hang around with like every day went off to become a mime artiste,I haven't heard a word from him since ...!!

MORNING PEASANTS! Delighted that today, a Blackadder podcast has been released with me as an S1 aficionado, telling the world why the series stands up as a great moment in British comedy. Listen from 21:52 to 44:00 in the broadcast. Feedback welcomed. https://t.co/cn87kA1rJW

H.M. Prisons have sent me a lovely festive advert calendar...hmm all the little doors are already opened...!!

📍 Hastings – White Rock Theatre | 21st November 🌊 Hello Hastings! Back at the lovely @The_White_Rock on 21st November, it’s been too long. Come along for a proper belly laugh by the coast. 🎟️ Final few tickets left at https://t.co/4tGiphhWl6! #HastingsEvents #JasonManford

Wanna keep ya self safe ...? Cover yourself in jam from head to toe..its just self preservation...!!

#bbcpanorama so Panorama lied to us...AGAIN ....for years I believed spaghetti grew on trees,the BBC are shameless...GRRR ...!!

Life is like taking a poop after 50 sometimes you can sit there for ages and nothing happens,other times you can barely sit down ..!!

Sunday night bath night water gone cold top up with saucepan of hot water,that immersion heater ain't going on again,Vosene burning my eyes,Antiques Roadshow,only allowed to watch opening music of The South Bank Show ...bed,no duvet just lots of scratchy blankets...heaven..??

My wife just told me " you have a tendency to be a bit overdramatic " ..she clearly hates me ...!! And on that bombshell..!!

Just looking at old instamatic pics went on a 18-30s holiday in 93 on it we went on a booze cruise on a pirate ship,basically 40 teenagers getting drunk but was thinking if someone got into trouble in the sea there was probably no one on board that would save them ..scary no..!

Sarsala Koyu/Dalaman/ Muğla/Türkiye Muğla -Türkiye bir Dünya markasıdır. Bu güzelim coğrafyada bütün güzellikleri doyasıya yaşamak varken, umudumuzu ve gücümüzü tüketenler "bir hasretin kaç şiir ettiğini" unutmasın Adil bir ülkede yaşamak herkesin hakkı. İyi akşamlar 🇹🇷💐♥️

Back in Llandudno this time staying in the blue room. I can finally relax for a few days.

Just kicked a tiny pebble nonchalantly into the middle of the road..now I'm thinking I've triggered some big Final Destination scenario,the pebble gets stuck in a car tyre,the driver thinks he has a flat,gets out to look,doesn't see the pigeons he displaced as he stops etc etc..