Andrew Rich
@AndrewTRich
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Host of @MusicoftheMat / Writer and "The Producer" for @voiceswrestling / The Punmaker
Boston, MA
Joined February 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
Me accidentally hitting the button for RVD's ground attack in Here Comes the Pain.
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Floored by the revelation that the Briscoes' "Reach for the sky, boy" motto isn't because of some badass western or whatever, it's because Jay cried every time he watched Toy Story with his kids. "Reach for the Sky" is what Woody says when you pull his string.
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Punk saw Nick Jackson hit a flawless Buckshot Lariat and immediately started seeing red.
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Samoa Joe got fired, re-hired, wrestled one match where he won the NXT Title, vacated the title, disappeared, then got fired a few months later. All within like 8 months.
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Jimmy Snuka, Invader 1, and Chris Benoit walk into a bar...
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"Hold on a minute, Seth. The name on the paternity test does say Rollins...."
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This clip from SmackDown lasts 34 seconds.
I counted 32 camera cuts.
I hate you, Kevin Dunn.
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Eddie Kingston almost sold his boots a year ago and now he's main eventing in front of 20,000 people in his hometown. What a story.
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Just realized AEW now has CM Punk on their male roster with Omega, Mox, Darby, Kingston, Hangman, PAC, Lucha Bros, Miro, Young Bucks, Cody, Jericho, Christian, Andrade, MJF, Malakai, and a bunch of others. With Danielson likely coming soon.
Dude.
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Harley Race would often invite wrestlers to his house for barbecues. One time Owen Hart pulled a rib where he spiked Harley's famous chili with three bottles of really intense hot sauce.
Harley Race responded at the following Raw by meeting Owen backstage and tasering him.
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Okada tomorrow when he's unable to steal Nick Jackson's gear because The Bucks aren't at Dynamite
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Turned on Bound for Glory to see Bobby Fish enter the gauntlet match and get booed in his hometown and have "CM Punk" chants break out.
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2018: Zack Sabre Jr. won the New Japan Cup and complained about the warm celebratory beers.
2022: Zack Sabre Jr. wins the New Japan Cup again and his beers are cold.
Long-term storytelling
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RE: The Naito-WWE story. Naito actually met with WWE officials at his favorite cafe in Tokyo. Naito heard their offer, then excused himself to use the restroom. Except he didn't use the restroom, he actually slipped out the backdoor, leaving the WWE reps with the bill. ;)
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CODYYYYY!!!
DON'T GO BACK TO WWE
SOMEONE'S GONNA THROW A RUBBER CHICKEN
THEY'RE GONNA MAKE SO MANY MEMES OF IT
CODYYYYYY!!!!!
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"Hey Punk, I've got a ton of Robin Williams DVDs I can mail to you. Which ones do you want?"
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Katsuyori Shibata: I am a no-nonsense fighter with black trunks and boots. I beat my opponents without mercy and expect none in return. I physically give everything I have, even at the cost of my own health.
Also Katsuyori Shibata: It's my dream to wrestle the Pockets Man.
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Excalibur when he has to run through the matches for Rampage, Collision, and next week's Dynamite in 30 seconds.
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Flash forward to a year from now, with AEW World Champion Konosuke Takeshita chowing down on Cinnabon at a post-PPV presser. "I'm healthy and I'm young and I'm energized and I work with some very lovely people."
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All those "Thank you Vince" tweets racing out before WSJ or Real Sports drops a nuclear bomb.
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Akira Tozawa is a ninja, Jiro is doing mukbangs, Sarray is now a Japanese schoolgirl. How long before Kushida turns into a samurai?
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The continuing adventures of Jon Moxley and his unlikely pals
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Andrade had a match with Johnny Gargano at TakeOver Philly that was so great that people were discussing whether it was the greatest WWE match ever. And they still fucked it up with him.
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Kazuchika Okada after losing the IWGP Heavyweight Title to Kenny Omega
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Poor Jericho trying to get his GFY catchphrase over the same show as Moxley just openly saying "Go fuck yourself."
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"I don't like failure, Roman. That's why I've trapped Triple H's soul inside this golden egg."
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That was the worst Hardy performance since Victory Road 2011.
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Chuckling at WWE tweeting out that list of wrestlers losing in their hometowns, the same day AEW has Eddie Kingston, Homicide, Santana, & Ortiz all winning big in theirs.
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Nigel: "Things are finally starting to click for Bryan Danielson. His neck, his legs, his arms, everything's clicking."
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Bryan, Punk, Cole, Bucks, Hangman, Jacobs, Eddie all sending in lovely messages for tonight's ROH show.
Samoa Joe:
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The phrase "Scissor me, Daddy Ass" bringing genuine joy to the hearts of millions, you love to see it.
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Japanese wrestlers talking to Hideo Itami this weekend: "Gee I can't wait 'til I go to WWE."
Itami:
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Finlay looks like he's gonna play Seth Rollins on Young Rock.
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JR called Brody King "Brodie Lee," in case anyone was wondering if the move to one-hour has changed anything.
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Kota Ibushi
-Accidentally invented the Phoenix-Plex in high school
-Does not trust books
-Has a 25-hour day cycle
-Plans to become God
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Tetsuya Naito and the Case of the Missing English Commentary Desk
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"According to an anonymous Turkish source, the killing took about seven minutes and forensic specialist Salah Muhammed al-Tubaigy, who had brought along a bone saw, cut Khashoggi's body into pieces while Khashoggi was still alive."
Anyway, enjoy Doudrop vs. Zelina Vega!
Though WWE’s shows in Saudi Arabia are ethically questionable at best, Thursday’s event is full of promising matches
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Giving a little side-eye of disgust to God, as one does.
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"The Bullet Club is defeated, father."
"Yes my son, and now my spirit may finally rest."
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Saw a suggestion for AEW to retroactively replace Sammy Guevara with Tomohiro Ishii in all of their past storylines. They should do it. Remember Ishii’s ladder match with Cody? Or when Matt Hardy crashed the golf cart into him? Or when Jericho started calling him the Spanish God?
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Just unhook it. Unhook it. Unhook the briefcase. UNHOOK IT. JUST UNHOOK IT. HEY YOU STUPID BASTARD JUST UNHOOK IT. WHO CARES IF BROCK IS COMING IT TAKES YOU TWO SECONDS TO UNHOOK IT AND WIN. JUST UNHOOK THE GODDAMN THING. JUST UNH- *brain explodes*
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"I talked to Vince, and he goes 'You have to cut off Kaze ni Nare in Cincinnati.' I can't do that, I can't. I described to Vince I'd just as soon blow my brains out, what you're asking me to do."
- Bret Hart on The Suzuki Incident
"My family knows what it's like for something to be cut off unexpectedly -- just as the federal government tried to cut off my father's unstoppable momentum in the 1990s"
- Stephanie McMahon on The Suzuki Incident.
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Christian getting that popularity bump and WWE payday for Royal Rumble and immediately jumping >>>
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Bowens just said Moxley looks like Oskar Kokoshka from Hey Arnold
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Michael Jordan watching the Raw after Survivor Series 1997.
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I'm just giggling that Chuck Taylor got a 5 star match rating from Dave Meltzer before Daniel Bryan did.
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Samoa Joe vs. Gravity is actually a rematch from Bound for Glory 2008
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Zelina probably got the news and then immediately fired off that tweet in time to make WWE look even worse, which is pretty brilliant on her part.
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Cody was never a Bullet Club leader. Kenny was always the leader when Cody was in the group.
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Hirooki Goto looking at the IWGP Heavyweight Title lineage.
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Ishii: "WWE... WWE... didn't I win one of their belts in Korakuen once?"
"That was the ROH TV Title, Tom."
Ishii: "Oh right."
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The AEW camermen scramble to avoid showing Michael Elgin, who has jumped the guardrail to collect all that protein powder.
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People creaming their pants for Michael Cole namedropping Bullet Club and IWGP, meanwhile those same people going "WHO IS THIS?! THE CASUAL FAN IS CONFUSED!" when El Desperado shows up on Dynamite without a video package. Get real.
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Big Cass saving a bloody JTG from a bunch of masked dudes in scrubs at 3:15 a.m. while Julius Smokes on commentary screams "Hell yeah, it's WrestleMania Weekend! Who dick you suckin' now boooy?" Also, Smokes likely thinks Cass is Test, who is dead. I am not making any of this up.
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Andrade makes the challenge for Kenny Omega and the AAA Mega Championship at TripleMania.
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He make a da best ratings.
AEW Dynamite last night on TBS (8-10pm):
1,175,000 viewers
P18-49 rating: 0.39
#1
cable original in P18-49
📊
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Andrade: Getting the shit beat out of him by House of Black
Naito backstage with Sting and Darby:
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Didn't realize it until later, but PAC taking the knees right to his face instead of the mid-section makes the finish even better. Not just a fluke roll-up, but a critical strike to an established injury.
Awareness and instincts making all the difference! Just like that, the
@youngbucks
and
@KennyOmegamanX
are back in it!
#AEWDynamite
#AEWonTBS
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If you wanna know why Moxley is living his absolute best life, he's got planned matches with Yuji Nagata and Nick Gage, outside of his main AEW gig. The guy is getting to wrestle the people he wants to wrestle, which would never have happened if he stayed in WWE.
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The "Dominik Mysterio is a bad wrestler" Driver. Has a real catchy ring to it.
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