"where are you from?" "Lewistown" "Where?" "it's like a half hour drive from State College" "OHH Penn State!!" "yep"

Just found out the thyme I’ve been growing in my window for 2 years is actually just a weed

Tell me why Drew bought a bottle of antifreeze and insisted it’s “antifreeze windshield washer fluid” until I made him reread the label

They look like Mii shoes

It's official. I will be the next U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania. We bet on the people of Pennsylvania - and you didn’t let us down  And I won’t let you down. Thank you.

I was trying to figure out why I woke up in a good mood then remembered I had a dream I got fired

Asked my pap why his dr appt got cancelled and he says “there’s a real shortage with this medical uhh… how ya wanna call it… medicine”

Love when my dad checks in on me❤️

Ppl from corporate are at my work today and are SHAVING in the bathrooms and leaving hair all over the sinks 🙃🙃🙃 men should be fucking illegal

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene had $183,504 in PPP loans forgiven. https://t.co/4FoCymt8TB

I wonder if my work would let me use a George Foreman grill at my desk

Teams is such a snitch for showing me as “away” after 2 minutes of not using my computer

This is Ginger. She was stolen from her family in 2017. Her human, Barney, never stopped searching for her. He would visit any shelter dogs that resembled her in the slightest. Last week, he found her. “As soon as they saw each other, there was no doubt.” 14/10

Ghislaine Maxwell was found guilty of sex trafficking children. A judge refuses to release the list of who she sold them to. Up until the list is released, we have only one conclusion: all of them are on it. Every last damned billionaire, prince and politician. Have a nice day.

Am I the only one who does this lol

Just turned auto caps back on for the first time in like 4 years is this what being an adult is

Starbucks has cut our labor so much that our customers have to wait 30, 40 mins for their orders. This is a picture taken *after* our morning rush, this is all the food & drinks people *abandoned*. But Starbucks still makes sure to hang up fresh anti union propaganda in the back.

quitting my job on the account that I can no longer distinguish a real email from spam

finally tried tapenade this weekend after 10 years of wondering what it tastes like bc of that one episode of iCarly