I unlocked $20 Rush tickets for "Hamlet" at @stannswarehouse on @TodayTix! Tap here: https://t.co/ZclS3tv2Sq #TodayTixRush

I unlocked $39 Rush tickets to New York City Ballet on @TodayTix! Unlock here: https://t.co/d6xWBYkMjx @nycballet

I unlocked $39 Rush tickets to Swan Lake at @nycballet on @TodayTix! Unlock here:

I unlocked $25 Rush tickets for Dracula at @classicstage on @TodayTix! Unlock here: https://t.co/Y792HR0Ncp #TodayTixRush

Hey, @LaserShip, what gives? Two days, two “attempted deliveries” (the recipient was home for both attempts), and nearly six hours of being on hold with customer service. This isn’t ok.

To the gem of a human who tried to charge $5000 on my debit card— I’m flattered that you think I have that much expendable income. But come on.

Today I voted early enough to get to work on time and spent a good deal of time on the phone with my bank. Is this what being an adult is?

Was taking a cab to work. Realized I didn't have my debit card. Got out to take the train. Metro Card was expired. Walked home to retrieve debit card. Somehow I'm only a half hour late to work? #nycmiracle

Hey, @amazonprimenow, why wasn't I given the option to replace my out-of-stock pita chips with something else? Now I'm getting hummus and nothing to eat it with but my fingers.

Forever cheering for the teams of schools I never attended. #iwenttomusicschool

Wagner's German and you're a moron.

After months of thinking that I had forgotten my twitter password, I realized that I, in fact, had not.

Nothing in life prepared me for the stress of #OSUvsMichigan

Hell is a crowded subway car when a school group decides to get on.

Shout out to this bottle of #PolarSeltzer Late Harvest Berries THAT WILL NOT OPEN. #sothirsty #sosad

Watching the Kate McKinnon SNL cold open twice this morning was two times too many. #sobbing

"To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world."

There are few things happier than oversized flannels, fuzzy socks, and cuddly kittens. #fall

"Radiator heat" or "why my apartment now feels like Death Valley"