Adam Long
@AdamLong
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Joined September 2011
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http://t.co/1ysyjwOixp Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
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http://t.co/8hGEAx0pwf The "PB&HJ" looked better on the menu. They really do have everything at the Cheesecake Factory.
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http://t.co/VJpQPoRjpg Pretty sure that Twitter is not one of the seven habits of highly effective people.
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http://t.co/VS8EHOCGS4 Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".
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http://t.co/4kUkUgTQB3 I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home.
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If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. http://t.co/4FtUZr7UTt.
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If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. http://t.co/NlgNl0EiNr.
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It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/aDPJF1wz69.
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http://t.co/oykL3IW4 Instead of "single" as a marital status, it should read "independently owned and operatedâ.
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Usain Bolt runs at 31mph which sounds good, but if he hits a child there's a 40% chance they'll die. http://t.co/br4J3daL.
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If we start calling it 'potato juice', Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?? http://t.co/KotiNRpV.
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Fuck! I have to fly to California to prevent a forest fire. THIS IS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY! http://t.co/aw5qFnnw.
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