Adam Lane Smith | The Attachment Specialist
@AdamLaneSmith
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Attachment Theory specialist. MA Psych. 16 years helping clients build secure romantic, personal, and professional relationships.
Fix your romantic life→
Joined February 2013
Let me help you set the foundations for a future full of love, connection, and purpose by accelerating your journey to secure attachment.
adamlanesmith.com
Secure your Attachment Secure your Future Let us help you set the foundations for a future full of love, connection, and purpose by accelerating your journey to secure attachment. FREE ATTACHMENT...
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You’re not broken for wanting reassurance. You just needed it too many times without ever getting it.
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The hardest part of healing attachment is grieving the love you never got.
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So do you struggle more with pointing out yellow and red flags—or letting someone see yours?. Let me know. 💬.
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A secure relationship isn’t two flawless people. It’s two people who face problems as a team—with kindness, directness, and a focus on solutions. That’s how trust is built. That’s how intimacy grows.
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When you grew up anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, this feels impossible. Anxious people think raising issues will scare someone away. Avoidant people think raising issues will cause chaos. So everyone stays quiet. And the distance grows.
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Real security in a relationship doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from two people who are calm enough and open enough to say: “I see this problem. Let’s talk about it.”.And then actually working through it together.
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You feel something’s off, but you say nothing. You spot a pattern, but you ignore it. You see a flaw in yourself, but you hide it. You think you’re avoiding conflict but what you’re really avoiding is connection.
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Some relationships never feel close—no matter how much time you spend together. It’s not because you’re incompatible. It’s because neither of you will talk about the yellow and red flags in the relationship, so you both feel uncertain. Here's how to fix this. 🧵.
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You can’t find secure love if you’re addicted to chasing people who don’t stay.
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Healing won’t always feel peaceful. Sometimes it feels like chaos right before clarity.
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Most people don’t fear commitment. They fear being trapped in a place where their needs don’t matter.
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Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie. — Miyamoto Musashi.
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The more you seek constant reassurance in a relationship, the less safe you feel over time. True security comes from consistency, not constant approval.
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Women tend to be happiest when they feel USEFUL to the people they love. They also want to feel TRUSTED with inside information about how you’re doing and what your challenges are, again so they can HELP and BE USEFUL. VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust.
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Your partner isn’t cold. They’re just terrified that opening up will cost them control.
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Male depression is nearly always a result of learned helplessness. But health providers treat it like female depression and try to make men feel loved instead of powerful.
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You were never meant to carry it all alone.
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How men and women are supposed to care for each other.
A good woman can bring a man peace, lower his stress, and help him heal—but she can’t do it alone. If you want a woman who melts your stress, you have to be the kind of man who makes her feel safe enough to do so. Here’s how to build that peace. 🧵👇.
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RT @AdamLaneSmith: A good woman can bring a man peace, lower his stress, and help him heal—but she can’t do it alone. If you want a woman w….
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If someone makes you feel like your feelings are the problem, they’re not your person.
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