Abimbola 🦅
@AbimTheBaller
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Last Seen Profiles
It’s romance when I cook & serve my woman. But na slavery if na my turn. Una dey mad.
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Just randomly remembered a lecturer failed me in an elective course - “Glass in Buildings” because my report was too structured & professional to have been done by a student. I put my blood & sweat into that report.
We met afterwards & I showed him my scrapbook & phone gallery.
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When I started to make money, the first “big” place I ever went to treat myself to a good time was Farm City in Lekki.
I dressed well & put 20k cash in my pocket just in case.
I got there and ordered fish & a yoghurt “on a budget”. My bill was under 3k. I was shocked.
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Brit: “Wow. Your English is so good. How did you learn to speak so well?”
Me: Oh. Picked it up via a foreign exchange programme. It’s called Slavery. Major in Colonialism.
*awkward silence*
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I really thought it was parfait. See as I rush am. Shout out though 😭
#SARSMUSTEND
#EndSARS
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He acknowledged they were real. He said it was too late to do anything as the results had already been certified at the senate. I failed that course for being excellent.
Nigerian lecturers 🤝 stifling growth, discouraging innovation & promoting mediocrity & regurgitation.
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An intelligent person does not need a serious topic to show they’re smart. It just is.
In their humour, in their opinion, in their banter, in their folly, & even in their silence.
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A road construction project with a budget of 8M Naira was approved. I was called in to tender. I won the bid.
I was offered 300k to fix the road. Road o. Not okada.
The clerks & offices that take kick backs are proper demons; they’re your neighbours who blame the government.
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Me seeing everyone in Nigeria cooks with soy sauce.
Please what food are you guys cooking with oyster sauce and soy sauce?
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Imagine dating someone so smart & articulate, you actually learn from them in healthy conditions from as little as basic conversations to even banter.
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My oyibo landlord wey dey beef me because I dey shower twice a day.
Bro was always mad whenever I was stepping out because it was confirmation I used the shower that day.
Lmao.
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Living in a country where you can finance anything on lease made me stop seeing these things for what they’re not.
Davido adds a brand new BOMBARDIER 7500 worth $72M to his collections of private jets
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I want this woman to succeed internationally.
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“I want to Japa”
This is for you:
1. When people ask you to japa, please, make sure it’s for personal reasons. Don’t follow the crowd because it’s the new cool. Be very sure it’s what you want, because when things are tough, your personal reasons are what’ll keep you going.
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When I was dating, I had some principles that my partner had to key into.
I am a man. But I am not on earth to suffer. I intend to enjoy myself to the very end, and will only welcome someone into my life if they’re going to catalyse that vision, not hinder it.
I am not
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For everything you say, there’s a person waiting to misunderstand you on purpose.
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UNILAG graduate, Dayo Olakulehin , who invented World's First Portable Ventilator that can perform CPR automatically, has been nominated in the UK for the Royal Academy of Engineering Prize.
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Had everyone on a chokehold
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Anywhere you see SARS unlawfully harassing Nigerians, if you can, step in. If you are unable to, raise alarm.
Don’t just go past. Do something.
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Women sneak into your life and just disrupt all your plans lmao. Next thing you’re a responsible human making responsible decisions.
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Lmao. They waited until a sacrificial lamb was found before releasing their own data. 5k in a day 😂
COVID-19: South Korea detects Omicron; records 5,000 infections in one day
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You just know he went to a polytechnic.
Best dressed male in Nigeria, no one is touching him. My idolo 🩷
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I have a feeling if you suggest a coffee date to Nigerian women, they can have you arrested.
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How the Igbos managed to rebuild everything after the civil war and are not the most regressive & dependent faction of the country is commendable and should be a course of study in Nigerian Economics.
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But altogether. Don’t rape. Don’t lie about rape. Don’t excuse rape. Don’t justify false accusations. Thanks and God bless.
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My mom had the best birthday surprise while she was in church today. Lol. Her reaction is everything 😂❤️
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If I propose on my knee to ask my woman to marry me. Na symbolism of romance. But if she kneels to feed me on our wedding day, na servitude. Una dey wetin?
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My guy who arrived the UK in Jan just sent me a VN.
I’m rolling bruh. Baba dey para.
When we warn people about the circumstances abroad, dem no go believe.
I’m dying 😂😂😂
Until you experience it yourself, you will never understand.
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I’m disappointed that in 2020, men still feel the need to woo women into consent.
I’ve told you many times. Like who likes you back. Discipline yourself & Normalise walking away at the slightest hint of disinterest.
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If an electrician with these tools and skillset gave you their bill, you would refuse to hire them. Lmao.
More than half this work is done using the teeth in my beloved country😩
Share this video with your Naij electricians
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Hmmm. I won’t take the risk of being ableist like everyone in the comments.
Is your hubby a person with special needs or neurological limitations?
Two days ago, I couldn't meet up to make food for hubby. Infact, I didn't calculate well, so he went to work upset. I couldn't ask him to study his Bible or listen to the message for the day, he got back the next morning, I opened the door and quickly gave him food before he went
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Guess who’s now a Chartered Construction Manager in the UK? 🌚
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Bookmark this tweet.
This time next year, you’re in a happier place. You beat that tough situation. You thought you wouldn’t.
Quote this next year and thank yourself for not giving up. Stay motivated.
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This Austrian Airlines crew came through on the South African ‘Jerusalema’ dance challenge.
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International students need to start speaking up. UK politicians paint a false story as if they were benefitting from public institutions for free.
Most locals don’t know that you & your dependents pay for healthcare, pay taxes & are not entitled to public funds/govt concessions
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In one year, a lot changed. Finished Uni. Got awesome jobs. Made top connections & rose in rank, consulted for top organizations. Started my company. Went for service. Made my first millions. Got my own car. 50% before I left school. Despite being 5 years late. Joined some NGO's.
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It’s cute when I build my wife & help finance her dreams. But if I say she did this for me, menaskom. Una dey mad.
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My woman is stressed and having a bad day & I give her a deep tissue massage after the kind of day I had on a Construction site. Swit Lomance.
But my wife trims my nails, I be Lord Lugard. Una dey mad seh.
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If una no dey mad, una no go dey shit on other people choices. How are you pro-choice until someone has a choice that doesn’t sit well with yours? Simple answer. It’s because una dey mad.
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If my wife takes my ATM card & shops on it at will. It’s romantic. But make I chop small for my wife salary, I be tiff. Una dey mad.
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I applaud the Arise TV reporters for their courage. Their voices are shaky, those at the frontlines are stunned, tongue-tied and still trying to maintain composure.
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I remember when these conversations would happen 5-8 years ago on Twitter & people said they’d hire chefs.
All the loud mouths from that era are facing their individual realities now.
All mellow, quiet & living life lowkey.
You’re not the first. Your time will come.
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Babe cancelled last minute on me cos she said she had a modeling gig. Foiled all the plans we’d made for the longest time. She uploaded her picture on BBM next day & the background was my apartment. Apparently she canceled on me to go have sex with one of my guys in my own house.
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"I thought I told you not to come to school today without your lesson fee"
My daddy sed dat your hed is not korrect
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2 years of what?
"Carlos & Richard" the gay couple who got married in the year 2015 have adopted a son after 2 years of barrenness.
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Just escaped a nasty accident after lkate. A car was reversing on Lekki expressway, when the car on my right ran into it with full speed. The impact of the collision made both cars spin towards me. I swerved so hard & enough just in time for a brush and no impact at all. I’m ok.
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It’s romance if I get up late night to go get something my baby wants just because she wants it. But if na me ask my wife for food, I be demon. Una dey mad.
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SARS is a terrorist organisation. They’re funded by our taxes.
And as their employers, we say enough is enough. We don’t want them anymore.
#EndSARS
.
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RIP 🙏🏽
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I swear. Winning souls for Christ and all.
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Looool. This!
Had a girl report me (the team lead) to the Dean. She claimed I was not participating in activities.
She was arguably my best guy in class.
We were still texting like paddies until I got a query in my box.
For context, it was enough to jeopardise my visa.
While in school in Nigeria, rivalries were open and you knew your enemies. In the UK, guys you just had lunch with will deliberately try to fail you with hard questions and snide remarks in a class presentation that is 40% of the exam. Then they try switch to be pals after class.
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One thing I’m proud of in this age is that the role of women in the fight for our nation’s freedom cannot & will not be erased like in time past.
The next generation will not be raised on the idea that only men lead. Everyone will be given due credit for their contributions.
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My first day in Bristol, I was sat on a bench in the park trying to figure out my route when this white unassuming girl joins me & starts a conversation.
It was my first social interaction with a local. We chatted for a while & she asked that we exchanged our social media
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Of all things, please choose kindness when looking for a partner.
Also, be kinder.
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You go dey update person wey you regard as friends, happenings in your life. Major moves and all, and they would keep you in the dark about theirs. And you too are carrying friendship on your head. Smh.
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Her purse.
Grab it and run. A naked woman cannot run after me in public and call me a thief. No one would believe her.
Guys, what is the first thing you look at when a girl undress?
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Today we celebrate our “charge and bail” lawyers 😭😭😭
Na all the people wey we banter pass dey save us.
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My Uber on Sunday was a Rav 4 2012. I was confused. I had to double check.
My driver apparently has a well-paying day job & drives on weekends for the fun of it.
The rich get rich by staying rich and profiting from their hobbies.
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My last interview. The interviewer asked me "what can you offer us?"
"Nothing", I said.
He was puzzled. He cocked his head to the right a bit, waiting for me to finish.
I smiled instead.
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All of una dey mad. All of una. Not one person exempt. All of una. Una dey mad.
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People are arriving the airport without plans or enough money & getting stranded abroad because they watched YouTube videos that convinced them they would get a job within days of landing.
Please, know that you will suffer, likely worse than what chased you from Nigeria.
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That moment in the dying minutes of the UCL Final when Kante fell to the floor & stayed there for just 2 seconds before getting back up smiling, because his sweet soul could not deal with time-wasting 😂😂😂💙
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When it’s only 3 hours to the end of the year and it dawns on your girlfriend of 5 years that you’re actually not going to propose to her this year, again.
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I’m irritated by people who are heavily invested in the lives of others, especially celebrities. It just makes me cringe.
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Lol. I remember how awkward it used to feel back when I was in Uni. Meeting people my age and having to tell them I was in 100/200 level. The girls especially: as soon as they heard, they’d stop talking to me. Some thought I was just joking & never chose to believe.
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When you think of it, the corruption is embedded in our foundation. We are radicalised and initiated into it at a very young age.
No ounce of integrity.
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Olufunmi - Styl Plus
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Men don’t talk to you because you won’t listen.
Even if you did, your default response is to make it about you.
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So if Tammy Abraham was your brother or son. You’d ask him to pick Nigeria over England. Lewl.
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If you're dating someone who doesn't respect you. Check yourself. There's something making you stay, and its definitely not love.
A need is being met. And they're using it to exploit you.
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Nothing else works with okro better than eba.
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There’s this guy with really long dreads that wears a crotchet bonnet & a sleeveless vest, always doing one sort of community service or the other around Ajah-Addo-Badore axis. I wonder who he is. He seems like a selfless person with a curious story.
I wonder what that story is.
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Was it a Nigerian wedding if this song wasn’t played?
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This is an electric charger in Brussel’s airport. You cycle and produce electricity for your device.
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If no be the poverty wey wan kill una, Why’s a bang average Gucci shoe too much for a president?
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I hope you guys end up with people who spoil you unconditionally. That’s what love is.
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Sunny Nneji takes the crown
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You want a honest hardworking man but you’re also holding him to the financial standard of a Yahoo Boy. Lol.
I don’t think you understand what honest hardwork means, especially in Nigeria. Maybe because you don’t work for your own money.
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15k for all of these? You smell nice sir. You and your company actually.
URGENTLY looking for a digital marketing intern. Good in developing content for social media/ blogs and basic graphic design.
Pay: 15K p.m
Email: info
@hakikamarketing
.com.
#IkoKaziKE
#IkoKazi
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2020, she would probably have been cancelled and petitioned with accusations of cultural appropriation or taking a lead role in an African themed event.
Life was better when shakira released Waka Waka, 10 years ago.
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When people relocate abroad, sooner or later, they understand the precariousness of uploading anything to their WhatsApp status.
Once people get the wind that you’re still breathing , you’re in trouble.
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UPDATE:
I met with Ironbar & though he doesn’t have a phone on him right now, I’ve made arrangements to get him a new one, but it won’t be active till Monday (due to NIN SIM registration)
Here are his account details for those asking:
0005260989
BASSEY ETIM IRONBAR
Union Bank
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SARS officers are currently along Addo road, Eggins bstop (opp Wema Bank) stopping youths on bikes and in buses and going through their personal effects and subjecting them to illegal searches. They’re assaulting & harassing them with guns as well.
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LMFAO! There is a Japanese who has blocked more than 7 million people on Twitter. Check if you are one .His account is
@OffGao
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Some of you don’t have jobs or aren’t doing anything productive and you have friends that aren’t concerned about your stagnation in life. They’re there to only gist with you & make you comfortable in that spot while your life is wasting away.
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Being lied to is insulting af. Someone looks at you & concludes you do not have a functioning brain or are too dumb to comprehend a fact, that you're not sensible enough to be able to tell the difference between a hoax and the truth. Too daft to tell it's a lie.
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I have a theory.
But I will not be the vessel.
Social contract in the U.K. is broken, the small things are starting to add up.
No-one uses indicators at all, zebra crossings people don’t stop. People don’t wait for others to get off the train first before getting on. We’re gradually getting nastier to each other lmao.
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