Hello, I’m Dee! I play/stream video games on the internet and talk about various things! I love puns, singing at random, and a warm tea. 🎮Twitch: 📸Instagram:

Should I be concerned that parrots instantly seem obsessed with me?.

P5X is available for wishlisting and pre registration NOW! #ad.

We're about to dive into Persona5 The Phantom X! I'm SO EXCITED and pumped that this one is on mobile and so accessible for sooo many people! #P5X @P5XOfficialWest Link to the game and the stream below!

If you made it this far, here’s a moogle. We’re out here rebuilding, ya’ll.

If you’re going through something similar, I promise you’re not alone, and your struggle isn’t invisible - even when it feels like it is. I’m still here. And so are you. And we’re tough as hell. Sometimes just getting through the day and showing up is enough.

It’s been an uphill battle and I’m still making mistakes. Still playing catch up. But I’ve entered that period of time where the right medication I desperately needed is doing its thing and I’m feeling adjusted and more myself again. I’m able to clock the irrational thoughts.

I already live with an autoimmune disease and the unfortunate reality for me is that the two- Lupus and OCD? They feed into each other. So when one is acting up- the other can run rampant. It’s a war on two fronts and it can be really isolating.

I don’t want pity. I want understanding. Awareness. I want people to stop assuming OCD is a punchline or a personality quirk when I bring it up. It’s a mental illness. A brutal one. And it deserves more awareness and compassion.

So if you noticed me gone, cold, withdrawn, weirdly off - this is why. I was drowning in a sea of intrusive thoughts and compulsions that most people never even see. And I’m still climbing my way out of it, rebuilding those relationships and trying to push through a lot of guilt.

That guilt eats me alive more than the OCD itself some days. Especially now that I’ve been treated effectively. Knowing I wasn’t able to show up how I wanted to. Knowing people saw the effect of my illness but not the cause. And feeling like I let them down anyway.

The hardest part this time wasn’t just the thoughts, it was how hidden the battle was. Behind the scenes, I was breaking down. And because I didn’t want to burden anyone, or admit to myself that this was happening, I pulled away. I hid. And in doing so, I disappointed people.

This isn’t just “worrying” or “overthinking.” It’s relentless. It’s shame, dread, guilt, fear all looping constantly in the background no matter how you try to move forward. Can’t move on from the thoughts. And it’s exhausting. Compulsive.

Most people I encounter think OCD is just “needing things clean” or “being quirky about order.” For me? It’s a brutal, isolating, obsessive thought spiral that hijacks my entire brain. It convinces me that by not following irrational patterns or actions, harm will come to others.

Is it time for a long series of posts about OCD and how deeply misunderstood it is? Because I’m just now coming out of a total fog, months of the hardest battle of my life and it’s wild how people still perceive this disorder. Yikes.

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