RT @Dwarfio: Don't ask me how I worked this out, but an anagram of Kate Middleton is 'naked tit model'. that's genius.

#addwankingtoafilmtitle Nine 1/2 weeks wanking.

#addwankingtoafilmtitle Wanking the day after tomorrow.

RT @Glinner: Absolutely the worst way to go http://t.co/cNMChwDh (via @rsmithTP).

RT @CRtwotwo: “@rguettler: Never give up. http://t.co/22F5AUEk”.That's awesome !!.

@45mx: It's just like the real London, a massive sodding traffic jam! #closingceremony.

When animals get stuck. http://t.co/IWV4TNTC.

Bolt near the finish. http://t.co/k6k0viIg.

So true. http://t.co/hX8q0wjx.

Can’t work out bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?.

Do they sterilise the needles used for lethal injection?.

Just found out I'm colour blind. That came like a bolt from the orange.

I recently split up with a cross-eyed woman, I think she may have been seeing somebody else.

If women aren't supposed to cook why do they have eggs and milk inside them?.

Finally got round to booking a table for valentines day. Don't know if it'll go well, the misses is shit at snooker.