Me 3 months into a creative writing degree: “The bus is a stage on wheels, upon which the banal villains of everyday life perform their worrisome play”. Me 10 years into a copywriting career: “The bus is fucked”.

My contribution to the Edwin Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros ‘Home’ discourse is the rest of the world is insanely lucky that ‘Hey Geronimo’ by Sheppard never broke Australia confinement.

Join millions who have switched to Grok.

<Space Ghost voice> I'm a poooope. popin' around. blessblessblessblessblessblessbless.

At a 40th birthday party with a bar tab, but they’re playing Reelin’ In The Years downstairs so I’ve bought a beer and parked up.

My favourite time of the year rolls around again.

“Bro, last night was a Christmas movie”.

Catch me in the Great British Bake Off kitchen cooking crack.

Oh hell yeah, they gots tha porno flavours

Spice up your Christmas Day by telling your oldest relative that you’ll crip walk on their grave.

Celebrity in 1896 doing Letterboxd Four Favourites: “Oh wow, haha so hard! Let’s see… gotta put ‘The Arrival of a Train’ on there, I lost my mind when I saw it, and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.

Lame question. Real heads want to know what was your moistest tweet of 2024.

BALATRO ROBBED.

Dropping bangers elsewhere these days

Fuck off with that blue dot, not a chance in hell I'm gonna willingly click that

At the fancy supermarket dual-wielding Iberico hams, long red health bar floating beneath my feet.

Too much newfangled technology these days. Someone ought to invent some oldfangled technology.

If we ban Australian children from social media then how will they know which gambling apps to use?.

Who wants to go walking around the city with me like this?

In case anyone else is making the jump over