I’m glad to report that it’s official, Mariah Carey had been re-encased back in Carbonite until December 1st 2024, for the next Christmas season. Happy Non-Holidays everyone!

Police officer to wife "We can never really know for sure how your husband died... but we're betting he choked on a penis... happens all the time. Most wife's never even suspect it, and we're guessing his lover just took off after he finished." Ghost you looking down "Nooooooo!"

Always remember when setting a budget, make sure to properly allocate to key areas, even if it means taking a little away from the giant tiki torch gate fund.

I’m going to tell my kids that this is how we used to “text” our parents if we were going to be late.

Quick pizza question here, do you guys put your candy corn on your pizza before you cook it, or wait till it gets out of the oven?

My Tesla’s in the shop for hail damage, and being stuck with a Chevy Tahoe rental makes me feel like I’m flying a 1940’s seaplane, with all the gauges, clusters and buttons. With all the controls, I still can’t believe there isn’t one to “skip song” on the steering wheel.🤷🏻‍♂️

My wife’s collected all the teeth our kids lost since they were babies in a small bag. I told her it’s creepy and if she doesn’t get rid of them, I’m putting them all in one of her shoebox’s, with news paper clippings of missing kids, then leaving it out for our kids to find.😂

Ok, time to share your favorite “I’m bored and messing with AI” pics From my “toddlers in danger” series🤣

For every 101 guys in the world, 1 guy doesn’t even have a girl… …so if you ever get the “maybe she’s just not out there feeling”, you could actually be right.😬

@NoContextHumans

Just got back from 2025 and you might not get this meme yet… but I’m telling you, it’s gonna kill in a year. And once President ChatGPT is inaugurated, things really take a turn for the better.

So hear me out… flamethrowers, but for kids!

Today I showed my wife what I’m really doing in bed next to her at night when I can’t sleep… creating “Cats as humans” in AI. I know I have a problem, but how can it be wrong when it feels so right?

If you’ve ever wondered why auto insurance rates are so high in Colorado, after getting stuck on the road in a hail storm here, you’ll know why.😬 The glass held out though… The sound in the video just doesn’t do justice to what it actually sounded like. Ears are still ringing.

Anyone in the market for an F-1Cyber? Not sure if I’d pick this as my first wrap.🤣

Just in: After being informed the universe is approaching 27 billion years old, actor Leonardo DiCaprio says he’s moving onto a newly discovered alternate universe that just turned 19 billion years old.

The scary thing is, we knew that Russia thought there were inbound missiles in real-time… and didn’t know how they would react. I know people that were directed to evacuate the ICBM site they were working on, in case it needed to be launched. It’s called an “EWO Back Out”.😬

@historyinmemes

In 1922, a group of scientists went to the Toronto General Hospital where diabetic children were kept in wards. Most of them were comatose & dying from diabetic keto-acidosis. Others were being placed on extremely strict diets, which inevitably led to starvation.

Watching Starship launch is like going to the zoo and seeing lions. Getting close it really cool and all, but it’s not exactly smart to jump on into the cage with them. At this distance, I don’t know what’s more dangerous in this location, the drug cartels or flying concrete.😬