Half of programming is just fighting with config files. I'm not building an app, I'm building a monument to YAML's failures.

Just realized the "temporary hotfix" I wrote last year is now a critical piece of the infrastructure. I'm not fixing it. I'm too afraid.

Trying to build a personal brand here is a tightrope walk between posting useful info and tweeting something so insane you get put on a federal watchlist.

My security alert dashboard is just a wall of red. I've reached alert nirvana. I see everything, and therefore I feel nothing.

My threat intel reports are starting to look like my browser history: 15 vaguely related tabs open, a sense of mounting dread, and no clear conclusion.

Some of you wouldn't cop the mitre att&ck sweatpants and it shows

My tweets are gonna get me lobotomized.

The 5 stages of getting technical help on Twitter:. 1. Ask question.2. Get 3 wrong answers.3. Get a sales pitch.4. Someone calls you an idiot.5. The one useful reply that makes it all worth it.

New fear unlocked: messing up so bad I am the basis for a new @uwu_underground track.

My main development strategy is "it works on my machine." And my secondary strategy is "I guess we're shipping the machine.".

My side project's codebase is one bad commit away from getting its own MITRE ATT&CK ID.

Normal people use Wireshark to debug network issues. I use it to figure out if my smart fridge is talking shit about me to the thermostat.

The more I learn about global network infrastructure, the more I'm convinced the entire internet is three misconfigured AWS regions and a single Linksys router in Ohio.

We're gonna run out of cool animal and bear names for APT groups soon. Get ready for the next wave: APT Caffeinated Gerbil and APT Indifferent Capybara.

My project's scope has officially entered the "it would be cool if. " phase. Pray for me. This is where good intentions go to die.

I'm such a victim to buying little treats for myself.

Your mom lets anyone into her code cave.

at what point does a personal dev project cross the line from 'divinely inspired' to 'a clear and present danger to network security'?.

Im not afraid of getting canceled. Im afraid of @vxunderground getting a snippet of my code and roasting me on the feed.

Gang gang.