January: the Monday of months.

We’re going to have a stern word with whoever made this a work day.

Happy 2026! May your tea stash be plentiful and your mug always full.

What day is it?

Dear family, It's been so lovely to spend some quality time with you. But the Ashes is on so please can you go away now? x

Happy Christmas everyone! Now get off your phone and go play with your presents. Unless your present was a phone, in which case crack on.

This is an e-cup of tea. Send it to your enemies instead of making them a real one.

ATTENTION The Biscuit Printer on Level 14 has run out of dough. An engineer has been called. Please do not send print jobs to it until the cartridge has been refilled.

Please enjoy this commemorative image of Joe Root. #Ashes

P.S. We didn’t include teacups because obviously they’re god tier, but only if you use a teapot.

HOW VERY DARE YOU suggest this is a blatant promo for our official mugs? We’re actually offended! (Yes, they DO make the perfect Christmas gift, but that's not the point: https://t.co/WxYGTEJYL5)

Can all dirty mugs be returned to the staff canteen please? We’ve had to resort to using the 1970s supply and those Yorkshire seaside cartoons have NOT dated well.

Here’s a handy warning sign to print out and stick on your microwave.

If you're watching the Ashes in England, please enjoy the image on the left. If you're watching the Ashes in Australia (or Scotland, Wales, Ireland, mainland Europe or a wide selection of other countries) please enjoy the image on the right. #Ashes

What's your favourite Excel column? Ours is F.

🫖 You and ghost of Edward Saxby spend eternity haunting Yorkshire Tea factory and live* happily ever after. *not literally, due to being ghosts

🫖 Many happy decades ensue until your own untimely demise when the fridge falls on you, but you feel no fear because you know ghost of Edward Saxby is there waiting for you.

🫖 World's media become obsessed with story of living human who marries ghost. 🫖 Netflix documentary leads to inevitable backlash, but relationship survives the storm because ghost of Edward Saxby doesn't understand what being cancelled means.

🫖 You show ghost of Edward Saxby wonders of modern world, e.g. Spotify, bluetooth, normalisation of therapy, limited edition Jaffa Cakes. 🫖 Ghost of Edward Saxby becomes your best friend. 🫖 Over time, love blossoms between you and ghost of Edward Saxby.

🫖 When you open the digestives, disembodied voice says: "Hi I'm the spirit of Roundhead Soldier Edward Saxby, can I have a biscuit?" 🫖 When you take a sip of tea, ghost of Roundhead Soldier Edward Saxby fully apparates and regails you of the tale of his untimely demise.