Christian Goncalves
@TheChrisG
Followers
240
Following
562
Media
516
Statuses
7K
Joined August 2010
RT @marcrebillet: Happy birthday to the best emcee with no chain you ever heard. We miss you.
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How the whole fuck does my bike’s chain/whole drivetrain end up so dirty when it LIVES INDOORS. It’s clean now though 🛁
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Gyms are closed and I got a smart trainer, none of you are cyclists but I’m gonna SPIKE my ftp this winter don’t fuckin worry about it.
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Got home early today and suited up for a bike ride, it started raining 2 minutes before I would have set off. Turned into a large piece of cake and a 3hr nap 😴.
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For years I’ve been calling my dog The Hash Bandit here and there (among 1000 other names), he’s never even TRIED to steal hash lmao
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I’m having a pre ride oatmeal coffee, and it better make me shit. There’s no way for it to know this, but this oatmeal coffee’s only purpose on this earth is to make me do a poo. 🚴🏼♂️🚴🏼♂️🚴🏼♂️.
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If I’m in the middle of the lane, it’s for a reason. If you pass me with barely any room, I’ll flip you off in hopes that you pull over so I can spit on your car. If you get out, I’m leaving my helmet on for the fight. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY.
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE - Cyclists must keep right when possible, but should never sacrifice their safety for the convenience of a motorist behind them. When faced with potholes or debris, they may take more lane. Motorists: Wait to pass. More tips at
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You know that commercial for The Bachelor where the chick goes, “I CAN’T CONTROL MY EYEBROW!!!” ?Cracks me up every time.
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Red Rooster is back open, I’m sweating orange chicken right now.
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RT @JmeBBK: Any graph that illustrates a big curve vs a flattened curve, also shows you how long each one roughly lasts. I don’t know where….
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Does it bring back terrible memories of the last apocalypse?.
Hey, I’m not trying to censor anybody, but before you casually joke about “the apocalypse” please consider that’s a pretty tough anxiety trigger for a lot of folks.
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50 chinups 200 pushups and an ab thing, everyday. That’s the goal. Will I eat Oreos and play video games instead?? Only time will tell.
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RT @tomsegura: This is a great time to hit your kids as Child Protective Services are unable to fulfill their normal duties due to CORONAVI….
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So who’s got a squat rack in their garage?? I’ll bring chalk and snacks.
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